So I set a goal this year that I will memorise the Al-Ma’thurat and makes it a habit for me to recite it every day and pray that Allah receives this as my ibadah and do’a to seek guidance from Him.

It was a goal I was not sure if I am able to achieve because my brain is not as sharp as in the younger years and I was not sure if I can allocate time to spend memorising.

but alas, I set my mind to do it. it was not without some difficulties. Al-Ma’thurat (AM) is a compilation of do’as by Imam Hasan Al-Banna that is recommended for recitation every morning and afternoon. every do’as was based on hadiths and has its benefits.

So I tried. I had a small booklet I received as part of an Al-Qur’an I bought. Actually I have tried reciting AM since last year, quite loosely. my intention was to read it every Friday morning because it was my off day I do not have to rush. so it was a once a week basis. Also I only read when I felt like it, ie, when I don’t feel like sleeping or I just have a certain extra energy in the morning. it was not a consistent thing.

Except when this year, somehow, I felt like it’s about time I take it seriously and read it everyday because, let’s face it, I’m a weak human and I need all these extra deeds to help me through. I even wrote it down in my planner as part of my habits checklist that I must read it everyday.

slowly and gradually I picked up the habit. seeing it checked day by day gives some satisfaction, although there are ‘cheat’ days still. and on ‘lazy’ days I put on a youtube video of an ustaz reciting it and follow the recitation.

somewhere somehow, it just clicked. I built up the habit, it becomes a deed that I feel complete when read, and incomplete when I miss reading it. and I guess it helps also that my ‘red days’ occur once in two months so I have longer periods for doing it after Subuh. even if I’m having my red days, I still listened to it.

the few weeks before Ramadan, I started reading it ‘memorizing’ style. I read it closed book. only when I forget a verse, I refer to my AM book and repeated it few times. and knowing my visual learning style, I had to picture the page in my mind to recall it.

and on two days before Ramadan, on 16 June 2015, that morning, I read it through, with some pauses here and there to recall the verses. and Alhamdulillah, by Ramadan, I declare myself AM memorized!!

This is such a relief and quite a deal for me because I have not memorized anything since I finish my studies, and its an indication that it is not too late to memorize! and I finally could read it without referring to the AM book throughout this Ramadan, except for one or two times when I got a bit confused on its sequence. I finally memorized it. I am so happy and grateful that I achieved this goal. I have been wanting to do this for so long and I finally did it!

Now that I have memorized AM Sughra, I am adding verses one at a time to complete it into AM Kubra. Insya Allah.

The power of the unconscious mind and setting your mind to achieve your goals and objectives. Masya Allah.