butterflies.and.hurricanes

The education and socio religious journey

irrinoyed much

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so this morning i came in very early. on a sunday morning. at work. say what??

this is straight after a very exhausting friday night at a raya event where i was practically on my feet from the moment we stepped down at the venue (which is a horrible place) at about 6pm all the way to about 10.30pm. i actually could not recall if i even have a seat in the event. and after an emo heartwrenching moment at night, woke up early on a saturday for, what else, work lah kan. a whole day from 7am-6.30pm (because of all days, a pervert was lurking around and i just want to make sure that all students had left and gone home. if not for the volunteer and the mso who was working and assured me to be on a lookout, i would have called the police. i even had the courage to go face that man, who was apparently mental, and warned him to stop disturbing my students. if i see him again next week, i will not hesitate! a lot of things are at stake here if i do not do anything!!

and surprise, the only full time teacher supposed to work are unable to attend because of an insurance claim? for the benefit of doubt, im fine with it, but it cannot be done on a monday, is it?

and who can sleep and sit calmly at home thinking of what is going to happen back here if no one’s around???!!! and true enough, there are latecomers (not the students, mind you), the one without telling me that a relief is coming over and here comes technology s&*%$ big time and then i found out not all the netbooks are equipped with all the slides, pretty much something i have instructed way back in january and apparently it has not been done. i am close to scolding every relief teacher who was there. but no point right? so take deep breath, focus, endure it and just quickly do what needs to be done. and my trusty thumbdrives help alot in rushing times like this.

im just, really, if i die tomorrow, can the school move on, can the school function effectively? what will happen if i die tomorrow? i am not always a 5 mins drive away. for example today, one fulltime teacher down, i did not hear from other teachers who would volunteer to come down and be here, making sure things run smoothly. zilch. i think it is about time to teach the teachers to lead and be at the level where if i am no more around, people will know what to do. my weakness is expecting people to have initiative when in reality, they dont. they dont have the vision, the inititative, the creativity, the confidence. and it is up to me to develop that.

for now, i honestly need my restorative period. desperate for one. because a four hour event and a whole day of work plus today, is really exhaustive for me.

fulfillment

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my own lovely laptop is giving me this flow of creative juices in writing. i love it.

at work now, but working on this laptop instead of the pc make work more purposeful. but sorry, i am actually stealing a bit of time because i cannot wait to write this down. it is 8 more minutes to lunch time though. and its monday! i do not function properly on mondays nowadays because i am now working on both weekends. i have missed many weddings due to this ok! pfft! and yes, with only friday as my off day. i definitely can take off in lieus but my working on sunday means i am taking over a class actually teaching two whole sessions. so come monday, which is my actual working day, i have to come back because all my administrative works awaits me. so tell me when can i take off in lieu?

why am i back on sundays, apart from just overseeing just making sure things are ok, i am now taking over two classes, although we have advertised looking for part time teachers, we have yet to receive any applications. its been a month, coming to two already! oh come on, i have been coming back on sundays since school starts in January! its been one thing to another!

back to my point, i am only taking over, but i am also beginning to care for the students a lot. i have not been teaching for quite some time, and coming back to teach takes a bit of adaptation and mindsetting but i am beginning to really love the students. i am concerned on what they will learn and benefit from?

particularly yesterday. i decided the students need a bit of important additional lessons. i planned the lesson happily and purposefully hehe. and this was an enjoyable process actually because i attended lesson design workshop last month and now i am able to apply them, it did make more sense! and the most satisfying part of it all is when i was able to deliver the lessons as i have pre imagined it to be, and the faces of interest and questions the students asked, involved and just willing to learn. i see their faces light up and thinking expressions and reflections. taking down notes and even finding out there and then (through google though but a learning moment happening at that time as well). It truly is fulfilling. and i feel more love towards these students. the thought that they wanted to learn more and we may have been depriving them the right for that knowledge. SubhanAllah. i am truly glad we did those lessons, and thankful to one of my teacher who also developed a lesson plan for another class. and both of us think it had been such a fulfilling and satisfying class!

I have been enjoying a bit of my work lately with lesson designing and classroom observation, and putting together all the other tools and skills i learnt from my courses. being able to talk and discuss with the teachers about lesson and how we can improve them. it really is worth the time and effort. I feel more my self and what the work actually demands from me. not just paperworks and reports. i hope everything will turn out well for me especially.

Alhamdulillah. i guess it is also telling myself to ‘be present’ and able to carry out my responsibility as an employee and importantly as a wife as well. even though i was truly tired and aching, came back home, straight away to the kitchen to cook dinner for me and hubby. being able to balance and put things into perspectives and ‘compartmentalise’ them in its actual place, moment and time. it helps. and husband has been truly accommodating and patient with all my time away from work. we treasured those days when we are able to spend a full whole day just the two of us.

alhamdulillah.

and so, i think i deserve a gift for myself. that, a symbol of hard work. and continue for more hard work. but at least, looking at it might bring a smile.

first hand trial. nlp based

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here’s the story. i was just thinking about what happened to me yesterday. and how it had actually been a learning process for me.

i received a call from one parent who wished to confide in me about her daughter. we agreed to meet the next day because she said she wanted to show something as well. my mind was already reeling what could possibly be so important that she had to meet me? i almost am defensive of the mysterious and worrying voice which the mother had through that phone call. now this mother, the student’s name was rather familiar but i couldnt quite picture her in my mind and of course i did not remember who her parents are. i refuse to dwell on what the whole matter is going to be.

so its already the day we are supposed to meet. i had been busy the first half of the day with the fieldtrips and settling some letters that only after lunchtime i remembered our meeting. now usually i would already be anxious and nervous about the meeting. i would be thinking what could have gone wrong, is it us, is it the teacher, or the mosque? and most important, is what kind of situation it is going to be? because you see, i have had to deal with two difficult parents already, but alhamdulillah it went somewhat mild without a face-to-face conflict. this time now, it is going to be face to face, and both mother and father is coming to see me. already i am ‘shorthanded’.

but here’s the thing. i learnt in my basic nlp course about anchoring. and i did a confidence anchoring. an hour before the meeting, i did my anchor. when my colleague called to inform both parents have been sent to the conference room, i quickly did my confidence anchor + my happy anchor (just in case, so i dont look stress). met the parents, welcomed them, and surprise2, these are parents i vaguely remembered to have been somewhat patronising few years back. (there was another issue happened) i almost recalled the father to be someone quite the angry type? on normal circumstances, i would have been nervous and have that small kind of feeling.

i was set on trying out as well, mirroring and matching, in the hopes i could create rapport. i was conscious about it, i managed to mirror the mother, the father was still quite distant not making eye contact at all. the mother was doing most of the talking. i tried mirroring her. i think i created trust and rapport with her although i couldnt bring her to follow my lead. but the good thing was, she totally opened up to me. and most importantly, even i feel at ease. when before, i would be feeling nervous, lost focusing on the other people, not listening well, my palms may get sweaty and i wouldnt be able to converse fluently.

what surprised me most about this meeting, was i am totally feeling confident, i spoke fluently when i might have stuttered before. and believe it or not, i even gave advice to the parents like i know better! like ive done this before and dealed with this kind of issues before. but i know it all came from the heart. the mother teared listening to me. i actually gave her steps to approach her daughter. ok, this i learnt from my readings on education thus far.

and when at first i couldnt get the father’s attention, i managed to mirror him a bit, how he hold his hands and at one point, i tried to mirror him comforting his wife with a small nudge on her shoulder, although what i did was just hold her wrist. i know there was a change with the father because he started to speak up as well and shared more openly about his thoughts on the issue.

we ended the meeting both sides feeling almost relieved that a sharing have been established and a working together kind of relationship. the mother is comfortable, and for a person like me, i actually feel comfortable as well. i have always been an awkward freak. but i wasnt one that day. not at all. i felt motivated though. we could do this. i hoped for the first time, i had given the parents hope and a new perspective that they can handle this issue with their daughter.

(me, who doesnt even have a child, talking like i knew how to handle one, i have to say, my experience with my siblings might helped in some way)

SubhanAllah. this skills i learnt, had helped me. my first hand experience of practising it and realising it went well. i almost feel like i want to meet more people so i can create rapport and just for the sake of practise, more mirroring and matching, leading and pacing! just maybe, for once, i can embrace my introvert personality, but still be able to come out of my shell more confidently.

keeping time

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its mid January no? reading about The Time Keeper makes me reflect quite a bit on my outlook of time.
I am reminded of a moment while working back in December that I asked for time to slow down because I still have a lot of pending work to catch up. and I was truly not ready to face 2014. I was not ready to face the work I have to endure in 2014.

then I did ask for time to move faster because I had just had it with all the work and I just want to go home and read. and how we are always rushing to go to work or complaining when the train is late when it is always on the go every few minutes. oh let’s not go into waiting for buses because I gave up on that.

we are always thinking about what will happen tomorrow if I don’t finish a task today, what will happen at the end of the week if I don’t do this and that? why not just focus on now. on today?

and truly the first weeks of January had been a rush. rushing to finish this and that, rushing to record the new students, rushing to send out letters because even parents have become impatient nowadays. rushing to return back calls, rushing to meet the teachers, rushing to make sure all classes going on well. its a mad rush. I didn’t think I had a chance to stop and breathe and just take it all in. its only mid January and I am exhausted. I am still rushing though. barely thinking for myself and my needs or that my family needs me. it is always about other people. other people’s times, parents’ timing, students’ timing. barely giving a bit of time to even say hello to my close friends.

I am going to teach myself to don’t wish for time. make do with the time given and don’t rush. coz my rushing is not for me. and people do not care. we have been so engrossed in work. so engrossed in what people expect of us, of what people want us to do for them. I would like to do my work and enjoy them. I do not want to feel forced. and for the second year, I am not going to make work the sole purpose of life. although what I do for a living could well be my purpose of being alive, but no, I cannot make it dominate my time. Already I am working 8 days last week. 8 days and a half. I forced myself to take time off Monday afternoon. I was bugged with calls and letters to send out. my off day is not a two days straight. I am always feeling exhausted. my off days are bugged with smses and calls, or, yea, back to work. im still ‘working’ on off day. and I am not even a business woman. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife. I don’t think im good at those departments now.

make time for myself. take it easy. don’t rush. things will be better I guess. 2014 is an exciting year but I have to face it with a clear rational mind and act effectively. not through rushing. keep time. as it is.

don’t feel rush. I’m a cancer, what can I say. we are domestic harmonious people. and I have my own idea of resting.

who is the freak who decided that everyone must work 8 hours a day anyway? 44 hours per week? what is home then? a place only to sleep? and you have to pay for a house for your whole life when you can only ‘sleep’ in it? you cant even enjoy your home coz you spend 10 hours outside, barely 5 hours of sleep and rushing through everything because of ‘work’. ok, I will stop here. because I am going to give a piece of my mind about living in this mad rushing island.

stay calm and do within what is in your control. today. not about tomorrow. What does the Qur’an teaches you about time? Patience.

learn some zen why don’t you Seri?

inspired

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there’s a few things I am suddenly inspired to do.

one is to finally go pro with wordpress and probably do something useful out of blogging. I have so many interests and I feel like apart from blogging out of my own interest, I can probably gain by having people gain from it.

another is the sudden inspiration to do a reading project or a movement, or get involved with an organization which has reading as its mission. I found two actually online and I have bookmarked them to learn more about them. I am also thinking what I can do with the mosque as the platform.

and the education unit has to do more than just teaching. that’s for sure. and I must make time and not be tied down by mere paperwork. there must be something we can do. but that’s about work. plenty of time to think and plan properly. I feel like we can do so much more at the mosque. I must be confident of carrying them out. Lord help me.

the trainer the participant

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how’ s the week so far? for the record it was not smooth sailing but surprisingly felt a bit more fulfilling. the best part is to be able to give some thought to some pending items. that was really satisfying. i followed as much as possible the blocks of time which i had planned out. i wasnt strictly on it and i have to be conscious and flexible enough to make some adjustments. but for the most part, following that life table helps. a lot.

it had been a tiring two and a half days of teens solat camp. well, generally all of us in the education unit was busy. three of my teachers had to do some teacher training, me and a few of us doing the teens camp pretty much fast pace although its the holidays. but i guess it will all be worth it. and amidst the preparation for the camp, i managed to do those pending things, that was the surprising part. although i had to admit, most of the preparation for the camp were done by my teachers. and they did the facilitation and i come in to take one or two slots and give them the support they needed.  alhamdulillah it went well and i am very happy to see smiling faces at the end of the camp and some determined faces to do better and improve on their prayers.  it was a refreshing part for me too, in the knowledge sense and so many reminders to myself personally. subhanallah. all tiredness just disappeared at the end of the camp. i pray all the students who came and participated very well in this camp learnt something. Oh Allah, please guide these children. they need Your love and guidance to lead their busy life. oh Allah, please help them. help me too. You are the best Guider, the Most Merciful, Most gracious, guide us all to the straight path. amiin.

quite emotional actually going through this camp. i am as good a participant as well as a trainer. me and my teachers, we learnt from each other which is so valuable.

telling myself to keep Moving On works well with this mind also. ok one more week. let’s do better!

seri the seamstress

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and so i did it! i signed up for the sewing class!! burnt a hole in my pocket a bit but i guess its worth it. i am so excited to start class next friday.  and my goal is to finish class by May perhaps and who knows i might just make my own raya dress!! weee i am so so excited!

and life seems a bit more…well, life! and heh, the name kinda rhymes, seri the seamstress..

january had been fun so far and already its february, it really is going fast nowadays. i was just discussing with my teachers yesterday that out of sudden we have so many things to achieve and do already. no more dilly dallying. and so have decided to have a meeting with teachers every thursday so we can be updated every week on our pending items. time is really precious.

i am glad i do no teaching this year…which i really hope this will stay as it is for the rest of the year!

by right i have many things to say. but to keep it short: productive muslim series in singapore was great. the guy was really awesome and inspiring. what do i know, the website i had been following, useful posters i had been using for classes, and the person behind it was here!! and having a real discussion with him and his wife. and i was even more humbled when during one of his talks with the youth, he asked for my opinion of how he as the speaker was doing. my goodness. brother, you were doing just great. its our students who are not responding. but really, im touched that he thinks my opinion matters. alhamdulillah. hope productive muslim will continue to be successful and be a great  speaker and motivator for the muslim youth.  awesome and humble guy. he should come down again and give more talks.

and i settled all my pme (performance management evaluation) with the teachers and the youth officer. and this time around i had been better in delivering it and more confident. i was a bit soft previous years and doesnt really know how to conduct an evaluation, but i think i improved a bit and it was so much better to actually be discussing it. things are more clearer and the teachers are also clearer with the expectations and they understand better why a rating was given as such.

i was invited to an fgd one of the days with the colleagues from ace centres and that was another discussion which all of us were really honest and really let out our opinion and grievances of the system. our stand was especially the recognition for our teachers in terms of salary and training. enough of paying them degree holders pittance. they must be recognised as all those recognition that even maids and cleaners are getting.  me being where i am, i really dont care how much they are paying me because really it doesnt help at all, but i care for the teachers and what they are getting is just ridiculous. its not ten years ago when you can live with that kind of pay.

sorry, this is supposed to be a light happy post. haha. but really it has been all discussions for me this week.

must be this three 0 thing.

on the playlist.. Mojo. this band might just revive my interest to msian bands again.

oktoberfest

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Who would have thought? It seems just like yesterday i blogged and lamented about the coming days of october. And surprise surprise, the month has passed by without me really realising the days are gone. And hello november!

I never meant to make it as though im updating this space on a monthly basis, for one thing, life has been just work work and more (boring) work. And yes october is not much difference. However, i can say, it had been an exciting month.

I have been madly busy due to the registration period. With having to recheck every single frustrating name because there could either be double entries of the same name or the student wasnt listed at all. And there are about 800 names i have to look through! And now i am in the process of transferring all these details into the school system, another tedious tedious job. Have i told you my eyesight is getting worst with all these staring games im having with my pc at work? I have resorted to reading books because i think my eyesights is going to scream at me if i have to keep on looking at screens. But wordpress on the ipad…there isnt any other way is it? And i cant use my specs for too long while looking at the screens because i will get this splitting headaches. I have now increase the view on word docs to about 200%. Really, work hazard betullah.

But anyway, the battle for registrations is not done yet, i had to push aside other pending works to give a bit of focus on edufest. Its a love hate relationship la this one. I dont look forward to it but i enjoyed the meetings at other mosques because the journey to these places allow me to either think or read a book. I hate that i have to sacrifice time and energy because my work here at my own mosque is demanding at its peak, but i fully realise the reason for having this programme. It took a lot out of me. Tiring nonetheless but trying to give our best. I guess the timing for the programme is not suitable, moreover the people taking up this task are administrators and heads of education unit. It is a period where we are busy with logbooks, graduations, parent teachers meeting, tests ongoing, fieldtrips and supplementaries and yes, the most hectic process, registration. And this year, it was back to back with eiduladha. And mosques are busy busy busy with the preparations.

It came and passed. Not exactly how we imagined it, but the battle was faced together and friendships were created, hardships and exhaustion and frustration was handled together. I guess that matters a lot more.

Now to share about korban, another challenging period for mosques. We had to be audited, and my mosque combined with another in the cluster. It was bittersweet because less work and preparation for my mosque, but it felt so much quiet without the hustle and bustle of korban. It will never be the same doing korban at another mosque. Different ways of doing things. But i am proud that our volunteers worked so hard at the other giving time and energy as much as doing at our place. Everyone worked so hard and i meant everyone. It was more pressurising knowing this year’s korban will determine whether the animals will be imported from australia.

But i believe, australian laws are not the determining factor of whether we will be able to carry out korban next year. Korban is a work of ibadah and no matter what happens, the world is Allah’s, not australian, not singapore not arab owned. Allah ordered this ibadah and He will make sure His servants are able to do it. This world is abundant with His rezeki. Who are the australians to say whether we can or cannot do korban? Ini hukum Allah. Syiar Islam. It will never die. And i know we will work hard for it. Seeing my chairman day in day out working to make sure we get to do korban, you have to admire his way of work. Really. It was not easy. Definitely an eye opener and a wake up call for most, but i cant help but say that some country “perangai y.a.h.u.d.i”, i know its harsh but sesuatu ibadah yang senang dijadikan sukar, dan merendahkan agama Islam. Tak dinafikan orang Islam pun ada salah dan silapnya. These are all learning experience for the Muslims.

What saddens me though, was the ‘participants’ of korban. They bought, yes, with hard earned money i must say. But expecting things to move at the flick of a finger. No sense of patience or good will at all! Im not generalising because there are people who are very patient. But majority of the people who came acted as though we are stupid. It irritated me that they came with this all and mighty air and shouting swearing at us because minor issues. And that here we are working so hard to bl£€><5 serve them had to be the calming factor? I mean really, you are coming here to do korban for God's sake but you cant even show an atom of patience. Nabi ibrahim disuruh korbankan anaknya tapi masih mampu bersabar dengan semaha sabar, kita yang baru nak korban seekor kambing gurun yang kecil, perangai melebihi bisikan syaitan.

There was this man who made a big issue because of a number and even sweared at us with bad words, at a mosque mind you. And swearing to the ladies nonetheless, hitting the table in front of everyone. Just because of a stupid number? My hands were shaking with anger at this stupid man and luckily the head of korban operations of the mosque came up and handled him. Because if no one came i would have given him a piece of my mind and stuttered more bad words at him than i should. I still remember that man's face and may Allah forgives him. Me? I do not know him but i can never forgive what he said and did. Because all of us are working hard here and he had no right to be angry at us. No right at all. Im revengeful like that. Nak buat korban tapi hati masih jauh dan tidak memahami erti korban. Baru korban masa sikit dah merungut macam salah kita tiada esoknya. Nanti di akhirat kena tunggu lagi lama untuk dihitung amalan, cubalah merungut nanti! Wajah satu2 yang datang nak buat korban, tak ada satu pun yang senyum. Tak tahulah kalau ada yang ucapkan terima kasih pada ustaz2 yang bertukar menjadi penyembelih, anak2 muda yang jadi pengembala kambing untuk sehari, sukarelawan yang bekerja satu hari tanpa bayaran, sampai ada juga yang mengungkit bila kita simpankan sedikit daging untuk sukarelawan. Kita yang satu hari macam tak sempat nak duduk masih lagi menghulurkan senyuman dan ucapan terima kasih pada jemaah.

Seriously i dont know what has become of us people. Nanti yang menjatuhkan syiar ini bukan masjid2, jangan salahkan masjid2 sebab mereka dah cuba sedaya upaya untuk terus jalankan korban, kita sebagai umat ni, masyarakat Islam, langsung tak ada perasaan kasih antara satu sama lain! Tidak ada sifat menghargai usaha satu sama lain.

Just the other day someone posted in fb-the deadly viral space, about the monthly contribution they made to a certain organization and not happy about it because he was denied assistance due to his race. Hello, pernah dengar perkataan sedeqah tak? Its just a $3-$5 contribution per month, despite the confusing policy of the organization, which i agree has to be clarified by the organization, but i think, it is a chance for sadaqah. Bersihkan niat tukarkan contribution tu into a niat of sedaqah. And the stupid thing about fb is that all these people started to “Like” and posted some comments and mengapikan lagi the actually small matter which this person is trying to bring up. And everyone started to act smart and think they know better than the other. Jangan berkira sangat boleh? Makes me wonder whether the monthly ciput salary im receiving is out of the angers of people such as him. Kalau ramai lagi org mcm ni, takpelah, saya tak bergaji pun tak apa dari makan duit org2 yang tak ikhlas. takut tahu tak! and people always think kita yang kerja di masjid ni mcm kuli tau. tak ada hormat langsung. But insya Allah, i know there are many more who donated out of pure heart. May Allah bless these kind and generous people. Cuba belajar dari sejarah, apa jadi dalam perang uhud? Semua mula mengungkit dan kekalahan berlaku, pada zaman Nabi tu. Nabi Muhammad s.a.w masih hidup lagi tu.

Ok i better stop because im getting really agitated just typing this out. And i will go on and on and start to bring up all kinds of silly stories and experience. I better stop.

It really saddens me. May Allah give us all the strength and patience, patience, patience and make us ikhlas in our daily job. Please Allah. Forgive us for trying too hard and still not doing much. So help us Lord.

There you go. My oktoberfest which have nothing to do with art or drinking.

Oh speaking of which. After so many years loving iced lemon tea, i realised that its this love which is giving me my terrible almost eczema attacks on my legs. Yes, i have did self research on my….yes, self…when i stop drinking sweet drinks and consume clear plain water, i was free of itchiness. But when i start drinking it back, my itch attack came back. I only realised this during the recent fasting month. And tried to confirm it again after that. And now, its true. I can drink iced lemon tea, but only once in awhile, not everyday.

Oklah, blogging diarrhea already.

Good night and till the next…month? 😉

new phone in the house!

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as a 5 months anniversary gift, an iPhone from abang dearest!! such a beauty. 🙂

thank you abang dearest and i love you much.

yesterday was a very challenging day at work. three teachers down with me almost having a nervous breakdown having to search for replacements. which is d%^# not easy! i hope and i sincerely beg these teachers to not please not work on a saturday! saturday is a very crucial and i mean crucial day of all the days!! please la~ but anyway, Lord has given me strength to move on. i had the ydo came back from his off in lieu to take over one morning class. i had one of our youth members to take two classes-two sessions, and alhamdulillah, some of our youth members were madrasah students and i am so so grateful to them, another one cover one teens class and i took another teens class which supposedly the ‘difficult’ class. i still got burnt the whole day because for every relief i have, i have to explain to them the lesson before they can take over. i dont think i have ever remembered so many of teens’ lessons as much as yesterday!

and i had to deal with the transport person for some messed up issues. how many things can happen within 8 hours of work?

i think i slept like a log last night. body aching everywhere. and my righthand wrist is hurt, what’s the cause i cant remember but for the whole of last night and this morning, i cant bear even holding anything. it’s feeling better now but hurts if i turn it at a certain angle. hopefully it’s just a normal strain.

another week to go through after the short break and i pray for better things.

just another sunday

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two weeks after 2011 and i dont feel like there’s anything new…except more work..haha!
after so called declaring in one of my tweets that my work seems interesting and that although saturday is the busiest, it is, the most fulfilling. in a sudden realisation, it gives a new perspective and a positive energy to do it all. and i must say, it looks exciting this year. starting with teachers who liked to make a disappearing acts!!

well, maybe it’s shortlived, but while i’m at it, let’s keep the momentum.

as at the moment, i refuse to do any work on a sunday and that abang has kept me ‘locked’ up 🙂 cant blame him when we spent our saturdays apart. while single, i dont really think about it, but after marriage, it made me feel guilty sometimes, thinking him alone at home. but work on saturdays are move move move non stopping. sometimes i feel my whole 4 days week is just to prepare myself on saturdays.

marriage life is the only sanity i have right now. have someone to listen to my ramblings and nonsense. accept my flaws and loving all of me. it’s close to 4 months and i’m grateful to have you in my life.

also heads up for my little brother khidir and little sister nuri for getting good grades in their N and O levels respectively. will always be proud of them.

miss my family.