Left with a few more days of Ramadan. SubhanAllah. Time flies so fast almost without realising it.

Every Ramadan has its own set of challenges, so i mentioned to some friends. indeed it is. whether its personal, or workwise, or in my case, service to the mosque’s perspective.

i remember last year’s ramadan. i was having such a hard time inner me, it was not just about physical work which was never an issue for me but it was the tension between colleagues that lingered around in the office. there seemed to be no one to trust. i was like an observer but also a part of it. it was really difficult for me because it was not in my nature to betray or think badly of anyone. and having had to experience them, i couldnt turn to anyone except to Allah, to guide me, to show us the truth. i was deeply affected by the whole fiasco because they are good colleagues, but circumstances changed them. i was not able to do anything about it but Masya Allah, the truth revealed itself out of the blue.

this year. i realised i was much calmer. i knew i would enter ramadan in the midst of some busy mode for the holiday programmes that we are having. but 4 things i set intention to:

1) focus on the ibadah, terawih, reading Qur’an, zikir, tahajjud the works.

2) give focus on work, holiday programmes, a balance on normal work routine and ramadan/iftar duties, and helping out at the muslimah levels of the mosque.

3) i want some balance of doing wife, daughter, sister duties during ramadan. what this means is, i do not want to leave my family out just because i felt the need to be around to help out during iftar prep. previously, i would spend more time at work than i am at home during ramadan. i think i pretty much handled it well this time. did my duty sometimes 4 days out of 7, and the rest at home and with family.

4) i do not want to stress myself with the shoes mess and the saf mess. perhaps this sounds weird. but really every year, i feel so stressed out everytime i see these messes that i took it upon myself to do everything. and then got angry when it wasnt done properly. this year, i am just ‘letting it go’, i did made some posters around and i did, still, ask the ladies to fill up the saf properly, i did run up and down to check the levels, but i don’t feel angry anymore. i did my part, and the rest, i leave it to Allah. because at the end, Allah accepts our ibadah, insya Allah. i just want to stay calm, it is ramadan after all. i do not want to get so worked up. perhaps i am used to comments or angry faces whenever i asked people to fill up the saf, but really, i forgot about them once i started listening to the imam reciting the surahs in the rakaats. my last resort when people don’t move, i move. and prove to them that we all fit in just nice, just close the gap already! if you don’t move, well, your problem, not my problem.

so Alhamdulillah, i feel at peace. it is true. Allah will make things at ease. because i only hope for His forgiveness and His guidance. The mosque is His. i just want have to be more assertive on the saf t hingy that’s all. but again, i think people are getting better at it. they don’t listen still, but i did see some who are willing to fill up the saf gaps. so it’s some progress.

now, just some anchoring for the eid prayer, because things have got to improve.

​i hope the last days of ramadan this year will be fruitful too. i am super glad that i will be clearing my off in lieus till raya and so insya Allah, i am looking forward to a week’s worth of no work. 🙂 because i think i desperately needed it. since we havent been travelling, i just need to let myself out of workzone. introverts needed that.

Eid Saeed.