maybe.memories

Good memories worth remembering with family and friends

two nine

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July has been great so far. alhamdulillah.  or maybe its just the state of mind. maybe its just that time of the year when things going a bit alright. but for all that has happened, i am grateful for it.

there was the visit from my fave singer Sami Yusuf to our mosque. i mean who could have thought Sami Yusuf right in front of me. haha. but anyway, its his songs i like and listen to. and as i have been telling the singer himself, we were very surprised to have him because my teachers and i had been discussing about our graduation this end of the year and choosing his latest single forgotten promises for one of the songs and here he is, right before our eyes. and best thing next to that are complimentary tixs i received for his concert the next day!! went with my mother to the concert and it was fabulous. he is really a talented musician.

to add on to my exciting july 😉 is my fave author Tariq Ramadan came down to Singapore to give a number of talks and a workshop right here in singapore! and i got the opportunity to go to one of his talks last thursday! i just love his reformative ideas and how he makes us think all the way through his talk. it’s a blessing to have listen to his talk on Religious Ethics in Post Modern Society. Fantastic.

and the letter for our Centre of Excellence (ACE) award reached us at last!! and that is another thing to give me something to smile about at work…apart from all the hustle bustle down there.

what matters most is i get to spend some time with hubby for a day and with the families on the day i turn 29.
its a weird number. and its weirder because im one step closer to another decade which starts with the digit 3. have i achieved my dreams, have i become what i planned to be, am i the person that i want to be, what can i do more and achieve more? how is my life going to be in the next ten years, if i get to live that long, will i? somehow 29 brings a lot of questions to myself. it really is. but i am blessed to have my husband with  me to face this life together now, to support me and hold me when i fall and cry. always there for a comforting hug.

oh, add on to that weirdness, i did have a weird funny day. celebrating it with chernobyl radiation infected zombies (a movie which goes from lame to a bit of horror to just plain stupidity), a wild boar and a bunch of monkeys. quite a memory i suppose.


and of course, lunch with the tweevrans and dinner with the kamirs. alhamdulillah rizq minAllah.
to my man with the heart of gold and a gift of love ❤
to my parents for a gift of life
to yati family for the much needed notebook and giving me a reason to spoil myself at the prologue/popular soon!! 🙂
to sis ipah for which langkawi trip is possible because she belanja us 😉
to the siblings for the smiles and laughter and making my hardwork a big sacrifice
i love you all.

an april end

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a pretty good end for april.
its also nice to have a week without a working saturday and without having to think much on lessons and trying to expect the unexpected. it is very exhausting every week to always be on your toes and anxious of what might happened next. and indeed it had been a very tumultuous month. same old same old.

I am just truly relieved that the maulid event went well although quite a humble celebration but i think we did well and surprisingly more organized especially with the meal together after the event and the free ice creams we get to give away. and i am proud of the teens students who did a qasidah and ever so ready to help out with giving away ice creams and assisting our volunteers to serve the food. really proud.

and of course, the soft launching of the reading room. all the tasks to be done seem stuck in the head just screaming to be materialised throughout the month managed to be completed and the books purchased and the room decorated a bit more. i have to say i wouldnt have done it without the help of my project officer who did a lot. he did the mini exhibits and doing whatever it is i asked him to do diligently. but now that it’s 90% person done, more importantly is to ensure people utilize the room, but that’s another day to think about.

i particularly love how april ends. with my husband’s birthday, and brother’s birthday. yes they are two days apart. and sumptuous delicious meals for dinner at bedok on saturday with my family and lunch on sunday at sakura, a sweaty but nice walk at fort canning with the family and an impromptu visit to the battlebox.

a selfmade card for him, blue roses and nice shirts for him. what im happy most is i managed to get the right size shirts for him! and he loved them. knowing him, it can be quite difficult to get something he will really like when size and material is concerned. we get to have late lunch at east coast for his favourite satay and an hour of cycling before catching the sunset. it was a lovely friday.

and yes, a minor milestone for me is, i managed to open up an Islamic bank account! i had been wanting to open up a savings account separate from my everyday use and i hope with this effort, i will be more disciplined in saving up and be more prudent with my spendings. and maybe in the next five years, able to perform zakat some day, and even hajj or umrah, and oh well, just the nice feeling of getting to save up.

grateful and happy with what i had and did. hopefully more better days coming soon.
a decision still awaits.

who knows best

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Usually i always start my blogpost with a title and i could work from there. but nowadays it seems that i work the other way round. not that it matters but i seriously think titles are everything, and it is the focus of a story..

it has been a turnaround in my perspective, in my work, mostly. i had been praying hard for the past weeks and still is to God to give me the strength and guidance in this and mostly asking for HIS blessings in my every actions and decision. and remember i blogged about trying to make this exciting when there’s a lack of it, surprisingly, i find myself treating my work with a bit of excitement and that energy of purposefulness. I know it’s God’s way of comforting me and guiding me through. and im seriously taking mental notes of all the signs. ALHAMDULILLAH. with Your guidance Ya Allah, let me do what will be best for me, for my husband and family, for the community and the ummah.

But it doesnt mean my mind has not stopped thinking about it. i still do. its just that the circumstances is not giving me that chance. not now anyway. i will persevere on. insya Allah. indeed HE knows best. Im asking for HIS guidance.

on a happy note, one of my closest friends, still friends till this day, all the way from those Roswell years and I am glad we are still friends..ok ok…she gave birth to a sweet baby girl with a sweet, and in my personal view, a cool and most unique name (which is, expected if it’s dyan, hehe) Nur Athea. I love the name! alhamdulillah, visited her last friday and so glad mother and daughter is safe and sound. So my three closest friends from school have children. Mahir with baby Emre, Dayah with 3-yr old Lutfi and now Dyan with sweet Athea.

And you know what, i cant wait for one myself. but Allah knows best. we can keep on praying and trying but Allah knows best when this little one should be created. and with all the people i met who will ask every face time, with their prayers, we will have one two three four? who knows?! Allah knows. and maybe in time. in the right time. little he or she will come. and mommy and daddy here will be waiting patiently for you precious one.

i had a dream. and that dream will come true. Amin.

Eid Saeed

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Eid Mubarak Kullu Am Wa Antum Bikhair

This year’s Eidul Fitri comes early and it feels fast. you’re fasting today and its eid already. I pray that my fasting and ibadah is accepted by the Lord. we are so consumed by our daily routine it feels like freedom when for once you detach a bit from worldly demands to rightfully ‘demands’ of your soul.

if i may say, it’s actually a bit more relaxing environment at work compared to last year. i only stayed for iftar whenever i can and no one pressured me if i dont come, every wednesday the majority stayed over to help a little, when by right, the volunteers are doing everything which is good, hehe. and our zakat duties are lesser now with most of the staffs are ‘certified’ zakat amils so our schedule are more stretched out. i remember last year, my night duties will be like once every three nights!

and im most happy when both me and hubby got to go to the mosque for terawih and he loved to listen to the imam hafizin reciting the qur’an, heh that one no doubt everyone loves the hafizin. i heard they had a whole bag of gifts from our volunteers and even random jemaah. and i think it helps attract the crowd in, this ramadhan was beautiful because our terawih safs stayed full till the end and our qiyam had more congregation than last year. to the extend that meal for sahur was not enough for all and our volunteers had to rush to buy packed food from 24 hours coffeeshops. masya Allah.

pray that it will be the same next year, if not, better.

anyway. EId was beautiful but different.

im celebrating this eid as a wife. and without a mother in law. mixed feelings la.
oh husband and me managed to visit the graves of the faithful departed and with as much strength as he can possibly muster, clear his late father’s grave. with all the growing leaves and i dont know he had to pull out roots and all. but it feels good to be able to do that. and prayers yes. also i get to visit my own grandparents’ and i cant help but broke down at grandma’s. the tears just flows i cant help it. always, when visiting her. i miss her terribly.

i managed to bake one simplest honey cornflakes on the eve of Eid, a brief shopping for carpets and preparing/cooking for the morning after. it was fulfilling coz we are on our own, the 3 of us: hubby, sis-in-law and myself. definitely tiring ok!
our fast-game soto ayam was delicious!

except, it was quiet. say after everything is done, i was still doing my last rounds of honey cornflakes while watching the shows on tv specially for eve of eid and its so profoundly quiet. back home, it could be still quite noisy with last minute cleaning up at home, dad and mom probably screaming at us telling us to do this and that, the kitchen will be ‘action packed’ and we’ll be joking around.

visited my family first thing after solat eid, a teary hour and mom’s sambal goreng! 🙂
we had yati family and her mother in law (from switzerland) and i guess it adds on to the serenity of eid having her. you know it’s always nice having a mother figure in times like this…

a pic or two..eidul fitri from us all..

psstt…Lombok here we come!!

magical day

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it’s been a month!! of wedded bliss and fluttering hearts everytime we touch. 😉

still at honey mooning stage they say and what best way to mark the one month anniversary than a reminisce of the wedding day. but i guess pictures always speak a thousand words. and in becoming the bride, i knew now that the aqad nikah is such a powerful moment. indeed there was the qadhi and the witnesses, but it’s not only a matter of words and a certificate with both my name and dear’s name, but it’s as if the Lord Himself is ‘there’ witnessing this me and him union, and angels amongst family and friends. the whole universe is celebrating…ok ok i know, i read too much fantasy books.

dinner was magical. with my favourite song Anywhere by Evanescence while we made our entrance. i love it. it is a dream come true because i’ve always thought Anywhere is a perfect song to play as we walk along the aisle. and it did. thank you abang dearest for making my dream come true.

and i was a javanese princess on sunday 😉

i meant to add pictures in this particular post, but give me one two days yeah. one good thing was the pictures were ready within a month. the photographers were clearing all assignments before they hit the popular date 101010. except for the studio shots. and i’m excited for that as well.

and not to mention our scenic new zealand trip. our first quarrel and made up 😉 knowing one another a bit more, the struggle against the cold (for me, abang was at peace with the cold, heh) and hours of driving.

greek pseudo gods and a stealing monkey

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i am truly and really grateful for this chinese new year break. do you know how much i desperately need this break? to be away from work physically and just recuperate. having some proper family time and not having to worry about work.

a good break alhamdulillah, and now on to the other quest that i’ve set my mind on, which hasnt been going on really well. it’s difficult, really. it’s like being trapped in this cocoon and struggling very hard to free yourself from that grip of invisible hands. but i must free myself. and it’s all in the heart and soul. it’s difficult.

i watched percy jackson twice. and not because i love the movie, but one time with dearest one and the second time with dearest ones. but percy doesn’t give me any more excitement than my renewed interest in greek mythology with all its chaos and family feuds, and i mean it, family feuds and all its complicated cosmology. i was truly fascinated with greek myths as soon as i can read by myself and it was the reason i loved fantasy and myths. and yes roman and greek myths are different although inter-influential between the two. looking forward to clash of the titans for something more concrete and real.

valentine’s day the movie was nicer. it shows how much things can happen in twenty four hours and it revolves around love and loving and being loved in all its goodness and bad.

and if i’ve walked 10km or so sometime ago, yesterday, i got to cycle double the distance to and fro (home to upper/lower pierce) and i love it! the thought that i can go almost anywhere in this island and distance become less an obstacle. all the cycling took us only about two hours! it does help ‘clear’ my mind and let out some sweat, which is a rare thing to me:) i love the scenery of trees and reservoir, and the fresh air and i’m still a little scared of the little monkey who stole our famous amos(!) 🙂

i wish this break is longer…even after two day extension of this break. i need more!! hehehe.

but i am happy. and i think i’m refreshed and willing to start work with a new outlook. positivity and clear of doubts or stress.

alhamdulillah. haza min fadhli rabbi.

2009 Recall

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I know it’s way overdue and when people have already jumped on 2010 wagon and pretty much waved goodbye to 2009, i thought i shall not miss out the ‘traditional’ recap of what the year had been. but this shall not take too long and i wont blabber much because there are only two things i wanted to have as the landmarks of 2009.

the e-word. the single but not available. attached. whatever you want to call it. i’m yours.

i have always thought it’s going to be difficult to be in a relationship, but turns out, i wont say it’s perfect but it has been pretty much smooth sailing. or it may just still the tip of the iceberg.

i will not deny there were some difficult thoughts going on and serious deep decision made but i believe this is also directed by the Lord and everyday i pray that this gracious good is eternal and i believe that in hardships and happiness, i will be with this man. still, Lord knows better but at this point, i’m taking it all in, breathing and living these days and memories.

another e-word. education. heading it, leading it, managing it, being it. never said it was easy and never will i guess. it’s everything from my brain, to my body and soul. literally. this job, i’m telling you, its a love and hate relationship. its a bittersweet joy. the circles of influence and control are grey matters and when you’re just in the rhythm, something smack you in the face and make things difficult.

but these made my 2009 fulfilled.

and regret non grata, i am grateful with all that had been, and will be. life is loved.

to thank You Lord, is never enough…

10 km and an island

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what does 10km walk and cycling around pulau Ubin have in common?
They both hurt my legs!!! haha!

but i enjoyed and loved the whole experience of them both.
the walk from macritchie, treetop walk and surprise, surprise, all the way to bukit timah’s peak, i never know i had it in me to endure the walk, the whole journey!!! seriously. exhausted definitely, but we just walked on and on and the nature made me forget at times the tiredness. walking to work may now seems like a very very easy feat. only that i need a good shoe~

i really love the walk, makes me sweat (what’s with all that sitting in the office) and my eyes enjoying the green green and more green (without specs nor lens)and it amazes me really that you can go from one place to another through this nature trails, away from the road. and especially when i found out that from bukit timah to macritchie, we had to take two different buses!

and if you’re wondering, of course i didn’t walk alone. there’s the master of walking himself. i love it, i mean, u. 😉

and after a one day rest, went to pulau ubin for a cycling adventure, as my little bro called it, he was so excited about it! but cycling was much harder than walking, for me la. even with all the 15 min cycles i did every day to work. but i must say i may have improved than the last time i cycled at pulau ubin. when was that? i knew that first time i really could not take it.

despite the cramps, i enjoy these outdoor days.

only….i saw the news tonight and cyclists on pathways can get fined if they are caught! does that mean i cannot cycle to work anymore??? but i just started to love cycling…and i cant possibly cycle on the road, can i? that would be more scary and yes the fact that it’s dangerous!

why do they have to take away the joy of cycling; it lets busy people like us have the chance to have some fitness routine (while cycling to and from work), and less pollution with all them cars, and less time consuming when we want to go to places around the neighbourhood. and the fact that it saves money to cycle. why do they have to make simple cycling difficult??!!

or perhaps i misunderstand the news? (ok got to check again!)

and then it’s “turkey”(bowling term) for malays in the singapore idols!! three in a row!! 😀

oklaaaa, few more days before the year ends. got to meet the girls one of these days and wow, a new year begins, exciting 2010.

my avatar

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are you blogging?

yes i am

like for how long since you’ve last blogged?

hmmmm 10 days ago?

so i’ve purposely missed to blog the past few days. my mind has been preoccupied with work (duhh what else?) and realising that i do need to recharge before the 2010 starts. i;ve been counting days and contemplating exactly which day i will have some time to spend by myself, some quality time with my family and fiance. i mean i did go out with them but i feel like it’s more out of necessity, rather than really spending time with them. and i do need to spend one whole day just reading and lost myself in another world before getting back into reality. but december’s ending and i don’t think i have the luxury of doing items mentioned above.

but i do treasure those times, no matter how short it was with these people who mattered the most to me. like the time when we got to spend one day with your family and then mine, even if its unplanned, and the weddings day and yes, a trip to bottle tree park, although i wished we could have stayed longer (it was our one year after all)…and for that matter, i don’t think i’ve had chance to chill out with the girls this month!! except for weddings~

but in conjunction to the new islamic year 1431. i pray for the guidance, wisdom and patience to face the new challenges, what have them, work sense. it’s going to be exciting, yes, but a lot more to be done with triple the number of students and triple the number of teachers to handle. my Lord, i need to be strong and smart. more than ever.

and for being knowledge-ly stagnant, i need to go to talks and read more! speaking of which, i do have a queue of books waiting to be read.

and then 2010 is THE year. got to start counting the days~ 😉

a lot is going to happen. i pray for health! indeed.

another worth talking about is Avatar the Movie. watched it with dear and my siblings. and i think i might want to watch it again since siti baby didn’t get to come along being away at vietnam. engrossed and indulged in the pandora world of trees and magnificent creatures. it almost makes me want to live in such a world. so connected to nature and strong sense of belief, of oneness and love to all beings. very fantasy. i love it. i see you 😛

so with 7 habits trained and understood, i want to apply those and perhaps change for the better.

with you and my family. i think i can go through all this.