post.script

perfect heartbreaks

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

how many heartbreaks can a person take?
when you cannot hide behind a smile anymore?
when you no longer hold your tears?
when your hole of a heart beats to nothing?

how many heartbreaks can a person take?
when holding on to goodness becomes a lie?
when kindness becomes deceitful?
when truth blurred in blackness?

how many heartbreaks can a person take?
when your lips couldnt say out the right words?
when your hands trembled with anger and sorrow?

how many heartbreaks can a person take?
when did protecting becomes a mistake?
when did caring becomes a weakness?
when did all that is good turns to dust?
when did honesty scalded from burns?
when did happiness becomes painful?
when did doing the right thing brings grief?

how many heartbreaks can a person take?
what do you do?
to rise from these ashes?
to hold on to what is true?
to see goodness again?
to be kind again?
to be in perfect denial of your worst?

so i can finally be happy for you?

break

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

this road is pebbled with lies and broken mirrors

when trust is retched of black lava

when love is stricken by lightning thunder

when kindness is ruptured in separation

breaking shattering

the glass of purity

when goodness forgotten

when words woven in deceit

when eyes sparkled with hatred

your heart decaying

layer by layer

in dirt and filth

how does a person live?

in constant vengeance

in deep denial

your body a stroke

of evil whispers

breaking people’s hearts

distorting innocence

how does a person live?

wretched in your own skin

compounded in your malicious soul

how does a person live?

so, ok?

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

so, ok?

hmm…

two words we always say
to each other
one another
someone new
someone familiar
someone who care
someone who doesnt care

so, ok?

hmm…

how do i answer your question, sir?
what do you want me to say, miss?
ok…to what?

so, ok?

ok to how i come here?
well, yea, my sugarhubby drives me, so it is ok.

ok to how i feel being here this early?
hmm… nope not ok.
work-free weekends are precious to me

ok to the food we served?
it was fine…i’m not a picky eater

ok to the venue?
well, guess so…the island is small anyway

so, ok?

ok to what?

to my life?
to my job?
to my feelings?
to my thoughts?
or just to what i’m wearing?

so, ok?

you want an ok answer?
or a not ok answer?

you want me to say what you want me to say
or you want me to say what i really want to say?

you see, you, whoever you.
i am not ok,
to your question, so, ok?

not a quitter

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

“When you lose interest in something, you must always consider the possibility that you’ve gotten what you came for; you have completed your mission…..That’s why you lose interest:not because you’re flawed or lazy or unable to focus, but because you’re finished.

– by Barbara Sher, read from How To Be Everything, Emilie Wapnick

Well this is food for thought.

i believe now is the time to take these signs seriously.

a comfort from Taha II

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

And I have chosen you, so listen to what is revealed [to you].
Indeed, I am Allah . There is no deity except Me, so worship Me and establish prayer for My remembrance.
Indeed, the Hour is coming – I almost conceal it – so that every soul may be recompensed according to that for which it strives. So do not let one avert you from it who does not believe in it and follows his desire, for you [then] would perish.

(Taha:13 – 16)

a night i cried. a night i was nudged. a night i felt touched. a night i know God is listening to my aching heart and gave me comfort.

Go, read it in its original verse, it is beautiful.

pasti

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

pasti

hidup ini

pasti ada gembiranya

pasti ada sedihnya

ada pasang surutnya

yang lebih pasti

akhirnya hidup

dipilih untuk bertemu

tinggalkan semua yang ada

yang tak pasti

yang tak diduga

bila akhirnya

entah hari ini atau esok

entah bagaimana dan kenapa

akhirnya

yang pergi dikenang

yang tinggal merindu

yang pasti diiring doa

beratlah pasti

mengharungi tanpa di sisi

sedihlah pasti

tak percaya engkau pergi

bila akhirnya kita

kita tak pasti lagi

Ya Allah

panjangkan umur kami

penuhkan hari kami

ampunkan dosa-dosa kami

terimalah ibadah kami

sangat kerdil dan takutnya pasti

kerana Engkau pasti jemput kami