seize.the.day

When we do something impromptu

Ramadhan 2.9

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ramadhan has come knocking on our doors and i thank Lord for giving me this one more chance and more insya Allah.

i wont lay plans or resolutions this time except to do what i can possibly do this time around and come out in victor insya Allah. dont get me wrong, i’m never one to fulfill resolutions, it somehow restricts me.

and new mosque was overwhelmed with people performing tarawih on the first night i’m truly awed.

what’s different between this year and last year’s ramadhan?
1/ a good start. i pray with this good start i strive to maintain the rhythm at least.
2/ there were flaws last year. i just want to improve.
3/ heh, and yeah my status as no longer available nor single…somehow it’s a motivation to be better. 🙂

point is, barikillah humma lanaa fi syahri ramadhan. amiin.

full force

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super duper busy since i step in full force at mawaddah. and it’s only been a week!!! and time seems to fly double fast rate. straight away when i come in at 8.30, there’s no time to ‘warm-up’ get to gear 2 and do emails, pick up calls, making decisions, and trying to decorate two classrooms as best i can, with the help of dear mother and my little sister nuri who tagged along last friday to help out. and somehow found ourselves staying a bit longer till 8pm~

last friday, i had to present in front of a whole auditorium and share a little bit with the volunteers what alive is all about…with a few last minute slides which alhamdulillah turned out pretty nice and straight to the point presentation. since it’s also more of like a briefing to the volunteers so they know that we’re conducting aLive as the madrasah. mother said it was a good presentation. thankfully it was an informal kind of setting since i mixed english and malay up there on stage! and i believe i spoke too fast!

and next week is going to be another looonngg week! but in any ways: everyone of you are invited to the family buzz at mawaddah this friday – saturday!

on to the next thing, somehow word got round among the aunts at the mosque that i’m…hmm…taken ;)because apparently some aunts were ‘inquiring’ about me and mother had to be clear about my ‘status’ with them. at the same time, it turns out everyone’s excited for my birthday month…and i thought it’s going to be a family affair!!
on that note: i don’t know where to start and ideas all around that i need to focus, haha! these are like big things for me, the mosque, the family affair and the next year in line~

the weekend has been a short escape for me, watching Wolverine which is awesomeness, and glad that my brothers and sisters enjoyed the movie and the company as much i did.;) i mean, it’s X-men!! who wouldn’t enjoy it? i think there’s more action to this than the Last Stand. and i’ve always liked stories where they tell you how things started and me being a non-comic reader, i appreciate the storyline. and first time truly watching star trek with real interest and enjoyment, even though there’s some parts i don’t understand in the movie. i told you i’ve seen more movies within these few months than i ever did in my 25 years of living.

mono: God has always directed my decisions and meeting you must have been part of the deal…

cloud 8 and a half ~

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there are some things which i can freely tell the world but there are also some others which i just can’t bring myself to type it out here. no matter how good a news is. maybe because i tend to take these special things as really precious that only the closest would know. or that if i tell the whole world about it, it’ll lose its ‘preciousness’…but that’s just my thinking anyway.

tomorrow marks the day..my first day at the new mosque. watch Detik @Suria sometime next week 😉 they’re going to talk about the mosque….full force at the mosque starting tomorrow and i mean it. i’m imagining i might have to work overtime even to settle the things there. there’s humonguous amount of work to be done before it’s opening day, say, in 11 more days! please pray for me peeps and if you guys have the time…come down to the mosque…i’ll be there~ 🙂

and i think i’ve been to too many places in these few months than i’d had in the years i’ve been alive…having the opportunity to look at the ‘world’…ok, ok, it’s just Singapore, from many different angles…i’ve appreciated the sky and the trees, even buildings! so much for a small island~ although, if it’s me, i appreciate the company more 😉

and today marks the day…of which…i’ve only heard so much but now i’m going through it myself. happy faces and dear feelings..can’t believe its really happening but it’s true. and ur true and i’m true.

report strength

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‘reporting strength’ to my blog:

1. as you have noticed, i’ve changed the layout of the blog!! but it depends how long this layout remains and maybe i’ll revert back to the previous skin. however, it does look clean and organized, and still segoe script for the font!
the changes this beloved blog has gone through…from grunge to emo fantasy to emo love to grey to blue background to white and now this. but my fave has to be the emo love with that cute couple pic. and the previous one. you guys’ vote would help though~

2. after much contemplating and calculating, i got for myself a new handphone, or rather, a PDA (as i’ve been told). and presents….


it’s a beauty laa…so sleek and bronze. although it’s going to take some time to get used to the touchy screen, to the stylus even, to the interface and its functions, since i’ve been pretty much a normal sony ericsson phone user. 😉

3. with all these changes happening to me, like a particular haircut as well ;), i’m looking forward to better days! haha. honestly, i need to build up the inner me to face the new challenges and not disappoint myself, much less other people who have such confidence and trust in me. this is not the time for me to be thinking that i might not be the right person to do the job, because there is no turning back, truly. and i do not regret what i’ve chosen to do. i need to assert myself that I AM the person for the job. i can do this.

there’s just so many things to do and learn and RE-learn! haha:))
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mono: i never knew it hurt so much until it was mentioned. maybe i asked for it because i made that question. but the answer was unexpected. i don’t understand why it hurt since it’s only a past. and it’s not like it had never been spoken before. but somehow it hurt more last night. i’m still feeling that small crushing feeling in my heart but i’m not going to let it rule la ok. it’s now that matters. and a future which is still vague, i think i have the pieces of a puzzle, but i don’t know whether it fits. don’t break my heart.

pavlovian mats

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mats as in the ‘mat melayu’ in plural. pavlovian as in the psychologist ivan pavlov’s conditioning theory. although what i’m going to say here is not really about pavlov’s theory and how it works but believe or not, i’m thinking singaporean men, especially the malays, are getting their dose of education straight out from the tv and in the very comfort of their living room!

and it’s about time! since most tv programmes are somehow produced with women and housewives in mind. so to target men is the new trend, i think.

first there was M.A.T or Misi Anak Tempatan. and it’s an interesting show because it features young malay guys who’ve did and trying hard in their line of work or interest and who’ve somehow found success and satsifaction in the course of putting their heart, mind and body into a particular chosen line of work. whether you’re a racer, or a kompang boy, what matters is putting your best in it. and ada WAWASAN laa. and apart from that, having a positive attitude and some noble manners brings out a lot more that people forget the kental part. wait, let me correct myself, there’ll be no kentalans if a guy believes in what he wants and doing the best. it’s not about what is ‘cool’ or not, but more of passion and identity working hand in hand.

for example, you have interest in skateboarding. well that’s interest and can be a passion. but what shape your identity is not necessarily being a skateboarder, but your personality and manners, and let’s admit this, girls love smart guys.

although i haven’t watch these new drama series, i believe it’s targetted to men as well. there’s Anak Adam and Hi-Bro! and i believe it should be ‘edu-tainment’ as well somehow somewhere.

and this is my favourite : My Dad is Better than Your Dad! a gameshow in which, fathers team up with their son or daughter going through some obstacles and quizzes. if these doesn’t teach fathers out there how to be bond with your children, i don’t know what to say. who says fathers can’t be gerek?

so really, i hope there’s a paradigm shift of perspectives, of attitudes. to talk about the ‘real’ situation of what’s happening on the ground, the number of financial assistance given out because there are men with families who just can’t live up to their fatherhood. of course, there are always circumstances and difficult situations and deserving of these assistance. but there are those who JUST don’t. i think my sdo-fdo-de friends can vouch for these.

ps: the new mosque is ready soon, i’m practically rushing for time to do a good job. and i’ve relieved of a project which has been burdening me and it has always been at the back of my mind. so releasing it is such a HUGE RELIEF. i can volunteer for it but i don’t want to lead.

i’ve said it before, my da’wah is this: education. and somehow knowing i have given up the said project, i know i’ll have some hours to spare…and i’m so going to read up books to enrich myself!! not story books la but books on education or religions. i so have to catch up!! 🙂

all nice in blue

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hectic week has left me exhausted with a sweet ‘i-can’t-describe-what-it is’ feeling. 😉

to ma*hir, my closest friend since primary school years. the thing about closest friends is that you don’t know how and why you end up together, why our friendships maintained till this day, and between you could be two stark different people. and of all friends who’s been married for now, ma*hir’s wedding seemed unbelievable. for one thing, it’s become a common anticipation among our classmates, since ma*hir and aa.shiq had been together for the longest time, since sec 2? sec 3? albeit the hiccups now and then in relationships, they got through it all. i’m so proud of you la babe!! :)) (and i’m so glad i had a heart to heart talk with you last monday night).

it’s a beautiful wedding, purple dais and bride n groom in white and gold, mahir’s dress looked like galadriel’s dress(!) during the nikah, and nice pastel colours, an English country theme on Sunday with a touch of bhangra! it was definitely something to be remembered! instead of the normal kompangs accompanying the groom, they had the bhangra!! i’m so happy for you la ma*hir & aa.shiq!


and somehow i got smitten by these handsome boys~

squeezed in some time on thursday night with the zharif babes at a non-zharif fullerton starbucks albeit with a sun sunny boy serving free crunchy and warm blueberry muffin and melt in your mouth choc cake. had the best laughters over jokes and facebook. thank you babes!

blue petals a sweet lullaby for as long as it can, but the memory of it stays. it seems like being with you, everything is a first for me.

bookmarks to match the books

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i was planning to tuck in early tonight, but i cannot resist the laptop~
on a short note, my mind has been going on non-stop, seriously with all the work needs to be done. yesterday and today, i felt like i’m a machine running on full non-stop, going from one thing to another, that time almost passed by unnoticed. although it’s fulfilling knowing that i’ve accomplished some tasks. i must be enjoying what i’m doing huh?? hehe.

since i couldn’t get the chance to find a box for my bookmarks, which by the way, 6 more bookmarks to reach 100(!) i created one myself using coloured ice cream sticks!!

ok, ok, it’s not important news, but it makes me Happy!!! haha.

the L word

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am in a state of drowsiness at 12.52 am, but i need to note this down.
i realised that each and every one of us bears a certain responsibility, whether conscious or unconsciously realising it. it’s amazing actually.

you see, with all this hype of gaza and so many people being uptight about it, i mean who wouldn’t, with my little knowledge of understanding politics and depressing war news, and seeing so many demonstrations and petitions going on, it’s almost ridiculuos because u can’t draw the line between true and sensationalised. all i need to know about war is innocent blood is shed, somehow i don’t care who started it, either way, lives are lost.

but my point is, some people will do anything to help, write letters or set up donations, but i can be a mere follower and contribute in terms i can, but i may not have that drive to carry out that responsibility. because my ‘perjuangan’ my da’wah is not that. my mission is here, right here in this small island, in mosques, sharing as much knowledge as i can, no matter how mundane the subject will be, it does not matter that it’s just a once a week thing. i guess this is my perjuangan, you know?

why i’m saying this is because, i used to ask myself, why can’t i do this, why can’t i be doing something ‘big’ that can seem to change the world, or why aren’t i able to do that? it’s not because i can’t do, but because it’s not my forte, it’s not what He wants me to do because other people will be doing what they are able to, there’ll be people who’ll lead, but my perjuangan is to shape those leaders and share knowledge, for the future.

but you know what, i still think i have loads to learn more. there is still so many things i don’t know. it never ends yea, learning.

so Learn.

angels and airwaves

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if anyone had been reading this blog, they’ll know that my blogtitles don’t always come in sync. most times it’ll be random, as random as how my mind works. and disorganized at that because many things want to invade my mind at the same time 😉

well, today am in a happy mood, for one thing, it’s my off-day!! yey! and although i’ve promised myself this morning that i will not do anything related to work, but i can’t help myself to take a peek at my emails, which i just did. but fortunately nothing urgent. and i still have to prepare myself for the weekend’s classes.

and to relate rather mundane things here. i actually went for a jog and a workout this morning, hehe, accompanying the mam, which is good! i think i’m going to make it a weekly thing, every friday! :))
and did some essential chores like laundry and cleaning my room..which also make me feel good, because otherwise, i really don’t have the time to do them!
and arranged my books! and i think i need a new nicer box for my bookmarks, there’s no more space in my loyal bluestriped mug!

i shall not bore you people…only…it’s official now.. that my ericko-san has gone bonkers! the keypad doesn’t work well anymore and replying to one message take much time and hardwork!! so until i can get my htc diamond, i’ll make do with mam’s not so old slim-o sony ericsson. but then….all those messages, erkk.. :/

and i shall not bore you…that all four usb ports on my laptop is filled with 2 ericssons’ and my zen’s and a thumbdrive, with all these transferring files going on. and i want to susun my files and pics in here.

and i shall not bore you with my intention to read She’s Come Undone (yey, a book which is not for writing articles!)having got bored with Twilight the novel.(only because i’ve seen the movie, i don’t think i need to read it) and having tea time with ratu and romo…and so looking forward to the weekend and CNY holidays. 🙂

…what a blissful day. hehe.

ps: and yes. please pardon my post yesterday. sometimes, when you’re angry you tend to do irrational things and say out impulsive words. but these are rare instances for me. and it brings me to remember one of my youth’s goal for the week, she wanted to have an ‘anger-free week’. you’re so right babe.

the way to start the new year

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pretty much sweet rush.

after a whole month preparing a proposal of sorts for a mosque last year, i presented them out in front of the board of committee and thank fully, unthreatening faces and supportive questions gave me more motivation and the knowledge, i Just might have to do this! their agreement for me to move forward and proceed to carry out the operational part was all i need. “and so it begins” 😉 i’m turly glad the presentation’s done with only with one concern: things got to start moving and i have to do them right. please help me Lord.

and apart from that, my name was in the organizational chart in the current mosque i’m working at, which was, WHAT?? (that’s my initial response in my head anyway). although something more impactful was the fact that the GM himself introduced me to the mosque staff last saturday during an ac*tion plan meeting. i didn’t think he would notice i was even there~ this small thing done by a leader surely brings up the motivation i tell you!! :)) good pressure but also nerve wrecking because it means “they’re watching~”

however, all this hype just makes me want to work. haha~

ps: gracie the dugong is adorable, seriously she is. and that a sea angel is a tiny winy swimming snail. amazing.

yes man the movie is worth a laugh and thoughtful outlook on life.
only the third day of the year and it’s a pretty good start!;)
a nice surprise and is maybe a good enough answer for now?

on repeat mode: Songs Collection the CD. i’m totally loving it!!

pps: i know my post is pretty much disorganized and i’m just blabbering really. but dat’s how my mind is at the moment.