tribute to 2008

before the day ends, let me welcome 2009 with an embrace. after welcoming 1430, 2009 seems like any other day, to me, at least.

i received so many messages last night that it almost got me irritated, because it somehow disturbed my sleep :0 but don’t worry, i don’t start the new year with grudges, haha.
thank you for the messages of hopes and prayers for 2009 for all of us. may all the best, and only the best for yourselves. :))

my 2008 has been a good year. truly. and it’s december ender is even better.
first half of the year was hectic for i took up a number of projects which pretty much revolved around Alive education, coming up with lessons and articles, some serious reviewing on Alive and had the opportunity to share my amateur experiences with new teachers. it’s what i’ve always wanted!

being a trainer myself teaches me a lot about education. simply put: i love what i’m doing! i’m determined to gain more knowledge on anything education: teaching/training/curriculum/planning/etc etc. there’s so much to learn from more experienced educationists!

one of the best achievement i had: DRIVING LICENCE! it’s almost like a ticket to freedom~ haha. and being able to drive my family around is such a good feeling really. this year, i want to drive more!! :))

and then i got a whole bookshelf for myself, i mean, my books! after so long stashing them away in the closet, they look so nice on the shelf! ok, i know it may sounds weird being excited about a bookshelf and books, but i can’t help it. :))
buy more books and read more!!

after a year and a half being a *TEMP, i can say i have a proper job now~ although still quite vague of my status, for i’m working AT one mosque, but really, am working FOR another mosque. neither here nor there, but at least, it feels like i’m having a real job now. when you’re a *temp, you tend to take things for granted. but now, i can’t afford to make mistakes. do pray for me. 2009 definitely sounds exciting and hectic already!!

and please let’s not forget the Bali trip!! what more can i say?? most friends might already know how we have been feeling about it, what’s with the countdown-ing to the trip and the many many post-bali pictures all over facebook and multiply and whatnots.

2008 is truly memorable. i’ve gained so much. so many people have made a mark in my life, especially on my knowledge and spiritual quest. and ender december was not only about getting a permanent job or bali trip but also something to do with what i used to termed ‘blue knight'(?) 😉

2009, here i come~~

new year 1430

the past weekend was a mix of emotions for me. the transmission between one emotion to another was so fast it left me numbed. from grief and sorrow to joy and happiness, seriously, it’s a total mix.

my prayers for Dyan. i wish i can do more for you in these times of need, but i don’t know what.

my prayers for Dayah, i know Lutfi is just the best gift you could ever have for all the hardships you faced. no wonder he’s such a good little boy. he’ll have your looks with my brains and mahir’s wits. 😉

and a prayer for guidance. the year has ended in ways i never could have imagined, it’s almost like dear Lord has been answering my prayers and given me so much. so much. will the new year bring much joy? i need Your guidance.

i’ve always asked myself every new hijrah year: is this my hijrah? somehow, it never stick to the mind that i’m going through change or am i receiving the fruits of my sacrifice. but 1429’s ender came in such a way that when 1430 came knocking, i’m thinking… could this be it??

To bali and back…with love

i guess i have been postponing this bali experience for faaarrrr tooooo looonnngg. but typing them now will relive those exciting and beautiful memories.
an overseas trip, just the four of us girls, i’m telling you it can be addictive. haha!

the pics in here are very random from 4 different cameras. the nicer ones might have been taken by shasha-suli-mary, coz in the end, i totally relied on the girls to take pics. 🙂

12th Dec 2008
5am and i’ve reached the airport! extra early and excited. :)) Mam accompanied me, with nuri and edid. turned out only my family members sent us off, the rest of the girls came to the airport alone. so at least there’s some family figure. tapi takdelah nak rasa sedih sangat kan….we’re just smiling and laughing all the way..come on we’re going to bali ok!!

first time stepping into the transit area! takdelah jakun kan~ but i was thinking "so this is how it looks like, feels like, to be in this area~"

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2 hours flight was enough for me to be so awed and mesmerized of what’s up there. i almost wished i could see an angel or something but of course there isn’t. watching the white fluffy clouds, (although at some point, it’s all pure grey there’s absolute nothingness!) i’m just devouring the sights. beautiful.

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the first thing we did when we arrived? you guessed it, the cam-whoring starts!!

 

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we’re welcomed by our tour guide, Rudy and it was drizzling. almost thought it’s too bad if it started to rain, but the weather is on our side by the time we reached our hotel-cum-resort, the Grand Istana Rama. Everything was W-O-W there. the streets are definitely clean albeit the occasional rubbish, now and then. we arrived rather early, so we couldn’t checked in yet. so we left our luggage at the hotel, did some touch-ups and we’re so ready to go and explore!

The Kuta beach is the place to go! the ocean as far as the eye can see. and surfers. and cool sand. except there’s no sun. the sand felt somewhat sticky and cikgu mary 😉 gave some general knowledge info, it had something to do with volcanoes? right mary? we had lunch at mcdonalds, at this point, it’s more of "good old ronald! there’s Mcdonalds" instead of "jalan jauh2 makan mcd je?" we were hungry, we’re not up to go for a food hunt or whatever, and nice M welcomed us just fine~ laugh out now.

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and then we saw heaven. i mean, shopping heaven, haha. and suli striked first, buying beaded slippers which her aunt kirim-ed, and the shopkeepers were warm and friendly and i bought my first ever pair of shades~ 😉

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later at about 2 pm, we got to check in our rooms and ready for the next trip. to Uluwatu! and that place is amazing!! it was one of the oldest Bali temple Pura Luhur, and from the entrance, it looked just like being in any other park, except the many, and i repeat, many monkeys which inhabited the place. the real deal is at the back of the temple. i was in awe when i saw we are actually on a cliff, overseeing the vast Indian Ocean. i was caught speechless really. it was a real pity we didn’t get to see sunset as the day was pretty much grey.

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i guess no picture could capture the beauty as much as the eyes could imprint in memory. i’m saying you have to be there to experience God’s nature’s beauty. we got to catch a Kecak performance. of rama and sita, of garuda and hanuman, of good and evil. it was a hindu epic and i have the impression that the hindus in bali revered Rama as the god to turn to and worship of all the Hindu gods. the dancers were perfect, the male chorus amazing for having to go on and on singing the rhythm for close to two hours! i thought it was supposed to be something spiritual but they managed to make it comedic and from the chorus singers, you know they’re doing it purely for entertainment.

well, a personal appreciation on the kecak performance is that the young and old are involved, the male chorus are made up of all generations, white hairs, spiky hairs, curly hairs, you name it. even tattooed young men are not excluded. it somehow bonded the young and old, which, i find a very wholesome effort. all in all, i enjoyed the performance very much, more so because it’s like knowledge hands-on for a religions student like me. i would have like to see the prayers they performed, but tourists are not allowed to the prayer halls, but shasha managed to get a glimpse of it with her camera. we took pics with the performers….and move over to aili’s blog for something ‘accidentally’ funny 😉

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had dinner at Sederhana restaurant for Padang delicacies. which is superb! i don’t know whether it’s because we were practically starving that anything you gave us would be gobbled up in minutes, or it’s really the food which are finger licking good~ haha. and i have a fave drink to add to the list! it’s teh sosro aka teh botol!

and we reached back at Kuta around 8 pm and our shopping spree began at this mall called Matahari, so many souvenir items to choose from!! i couldn’t make up my mind exactly what to buy for every person on the souvenir list, haha!! the place is a surfer’s heaven, with all the surfer brands boutiques lining the streets all the way. Billabong, roxy, quiksilver, etc etc.

back in our comfy comfy rooms, i had a very nice shower, settled our stuffs, and me and roomie mary went over to shasha’ and aili’s for a game of pictionary! that got us laughing all the way, never know pictionary was THAT fun! :))

looks like we didn’t waste any time on our first day at Bali. well spent, literally. 😉

13th Dec 2008

a new morning at Bali and it was a fine day. had our breakfast. delicious even though it’s just scrambled eggs and three pieces of croissants + some baked beans. (oh no, i’m hungry just thinking about it).

we’re headed to tanjung benoa, for some watersports, and of all the activities there, we chose SCUBA DIVING! we all have the same thought that we should at least try something new and which might be a once in a lifetime chance of doing it. scuba dive was the best choice, my own secret wish anyway.

it was great, although i was caught the panic attack, almost gave up at the last minute! i had no idea why i was that scared~ it took me quite some time to pull up courage and get on with it. one of the instructors guided me down under and he was my pillar of life, like seriously. all kinds of thought moving through my mind those minutes under the sea: what if i got lost, what if i couldn’t breathe, what if i lost my sense of sight, and believe it or not, i thought of Duyung the Movie!

we were ‘parked’ at a coral reef and watching and feeding the fishes somehow calmed me truly. it was an amazing view. masya Allah. there are pictures of us under the sea with the fishes 😉 thanks you girls for being sporting enough and all out for this. i wish i wasn’t feeling scaredy or i might be really enjoying the whole thing! 😛

fresh faced (yeah you don’t feel ‘sticky humid’ or even  ‘dirty’ after the swim, must have something to do with the seawater) next destination was another finger licking minang lunch/dinner at natrabu. oh yeah, must not forget our successful attempts of dolling up on the bumpy van on the way to natrabu! wearing contact lens and putting on eyeliners. lady survival indeed!! lol. went to Ubud for a short visit at one of its souvenir store. again, too many to choose from!

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back at the resort, camwhoring and make ‘full use’ of the resort.we visited Matahari the mall again that night. bought some dresses and a billabong bag for myself. we’re already feeling dread that it is our last night already at bali. we don’t want this trip to end! ;))

14th Dec 2008

a lazy morning for it is…our last day at Bali! packed up and surprisingly, my luggage fits all + the newly bought items!! good for me. haha!!

still, not to lose any precious time, we went for some last minute shopping at the nearby shops. and  last walk by the Kuta beach.

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by noon we’re off already  😦 with thoughts and promises of coming back again next year!

definitely the best holiday trip, with girlfriends nonetheless, for a first timer. and if only we had known how great it’s going to be, we might choose to stay longer. we have not covered many other places, so a comeback might be a sure thing, right, girls??

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kapal terbang kertas

continuing on from my first week of working experience. well the nothing much to do was just the icing of the cake. giving me a clear of mind and numbed from non-productivity. because the real deal came on friday.

i found out i have some very precise jobscope. not just any other ustazah there. which is Challenging with a BIG C. seriously. i couldn’t really relate what it is here but i’m excited to start doing it. because i feel and i know..this is what i want to do. despite knowing the humonguous work needed to be done within the span of three months. i’m ready for this. and with the encouragements and tips from my mentor and of course the guidance the people from the mosque is going to provide me. i’m so excited it’s scary but it’s good pressure i hope.

hmm…so far, towards the end of this year, things are turning out rather fine. despite the emotional and confidence breakdown i got somewhere this year. despite the hecticness and chaosness of time dismanagement. it has all been training for me. despite leaving comfort zones to venture on newer things. i’m taking it all in new stride.

these are my sacrifice, in some ways. no matter what it is, i need to berpijak di bumi nyata. and no matter what distractions there are, this is what i need to do. and if it doesn’t want to be a distraction, it has to be the pillar of support.

anyway, i’m leaving my fave band exists’ song- kapal terbang kertas. for a number of reasons:
i’ll be taking a flight this friday morning. THIS friday morning! to b.a.l.i!!!
this song is a good wake up call in the morning when you’re still feeling sleepy, the music just wakes you up. makes you want to jump and headbang, haha!
this song always bring a smile to me because it’s a happy song! it’s like Vitamin H-appy.
and ezad just sounds so handsome in this song. (ok, tak pentinggg)
and because it’s a happy song, i can’t wait to start working…my real job that is…

ps: this feeling is making me starving myself. i want to eat but i have no mood to eat. why??
http://media.imeem.com/m/KrJKjAvvPM/aus=false/

i’m waiting

4 days at work went well so far. everyone was polite and nice. only i have yet to get accustomed to the utter coldness of the room temperature. seriously, they practically love the cold! and tak-heran-makan type of most of the staff there! well for one thing you have to walk a distance to the nearest neighbourhood mall and if it rained, you don’t have a chance! and it’s been raining cats and dogs nowadays….
mana boleh ngan orang yang suka makan mcm gwe nih! but those can be adjusted la eh. i have four more months before i go to the ‘real’ thing!

so people, i like the new workplace. not much work now which is driving me almost crazy at the moment because people are always moving down there!! and i want to train students!! it makes me moving and thinking but i won’t have that chance till next week. so hopefully, next week will be a more fulfilling week.

PLUS!! plus plus the trip to Bali!!! yey. 7 more days to go la seh!! i’m so excited to the maxxx that i want to start packing now and jump around and tell everyone!! haha but i pray the journey will be a safe one and lots of pics and views to capture and immortalise this very first holiday trip with my friends – shasha, aili and mary!

ok, my mind is not working now. and i just want to layan jiwang before going to sleep. it’s exciting but at the same time nerve-wrecking and i know i shoudn’t think too much about it but i do and i’m waiting. it’s just chaos.

brain freezed

literally brain freezed. the air conditioned room and the nothing much to do first day at work has left me numbed!
everything’s pretty much ok laa. honestly, i can’t type anything else la.
updates later~

but i’ll leave you all with this melancholic song from fave female artist ever : DIDO

on to new prologue


i have been staring at this screen for far too long. with null productivity.
i do have a few tasks left to do but my mind has been a total blank today! which is not good!

i guess it must have been the anxiety of starting at a new workplace this monday. for a year and a few months working at mu*is, i have really become so used to seeing the same faces, going to the same office, and well, sitting at a record of three different workspaces in the same office room. i really enjoyed it and i have to say, i am very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work in such a place. would especially miss the people in the unit.

still, life has to move on. and i pray that being at a new workplace, with new challenges and meeting new people, will give me a whole new breath and spirit, new perspectives and new experiences. it’s almost a scary thought but this is the choice i have made. although i know i can do so much more (trainings, editings of curriculum, things which i really enjoyed doing) i have a feeling i will still have more of these chances. insya Allah.

there you go, my very first job, very first workspace, very first working experience…will be missing it.

let’s get going seri!

and yes, been to full-of-energy 3-day workshop on youth training. now, here was something which i have always wanted to have- an assessment or evaluation of myself while training. well in this workshop, after 2 days going through the theories and many ideas of games and energizers, we also had a recording sessions. ie. we record our selves during first introduction and on the 3rd day, in a group, conduct a mock training session and got reviews from our peers and the trainer.

well, i found out i did too many time-feelers (aka ‘hmm’ ‘ah’ ‘ok’ etc etc) although i have a good posture and hand gestures, and yes, the contents bit also need a lot to brush up. now i know how i ‘look like’ while training! haha! i got a lot of tips from the trainer and made some new friends. a nice experience really.
going to workshops like this always make me excited to start the new year and apply what i’ve learnt! motiveated seh!

and yes, let’s get going! :))

recuperating

i guess today was one of the best recuperating day i ever had. resting at home, without ever going out (for once!) and had the whole day indulging myself in a funny chick flick novel (for once!). i purposely chose to read something light to humour myself. well, apart from cleaning up my room which had been left untended for the past few weeks. yes, the last time i had a thorough cleaning was during Ramadhan. and now it felt more homely with a touch of Bodyshop cranberry sweet smell. barulah nampak mcm bilik 3 anak dara. haha 😉

the week had been a whirlwind. believe me when i say it’s whirlwind with a good connotation to it. i had some fun dinners with my girlfriends and happy days revisited. truly. precious memories those are. looking at the pictures shared at facebook, the good memories are immortalised.

and the whole week had been busy with content trainings. apart from being a participant, i also contributed in some ways as an assistant to the main trainer and alhamdulillah, going through it is a learning experience in itself and getting to share my experiences with new teachers is what i’ve always wanted to do. thanks to Y.E. unit for giving me this opportunity. i’m looking forward to more trainings hehe.

and apart from that, my system’s fighting with the reality that in two days, i’ll be leaving my comfort zone for good, and for once, will be going for something permanent and full time and committed at last, at one workplace. i am really leaving and i’m not good with goodbyes. like this is it! but truly, it really is fortunate that i was given the opportunity to work and gain experience in, i think, the best place to learn. and practically learn being in a working environment. it opened up one’s eyes.

and for now, i’m trying to change my biological clock since, at the new workplace, i will have to reach there by 7.30 am!! so i have to wake up approximately 5 am and go on and on till 5.30 pm. wah liau, got to start by this week. wake up at 5!

el-shiekhats

i’ve said it. it’s times/days/nights with you girls are what i treasure most. have i told you that what pulled me through those challenging days back in IIU were YOU? a snide remarks from a lecturer early in the morning will be forgotten by the hustle and bustle of lunchtime, a stressful whole day’s meetings dissolved by early dinner, late night sharings, movie nights, laughters and tears. thank YOU for this friendship.

so el-sheikh welcomed 7 + 1(in our hearts/thoughts) of us, warm cosy ambience, carpetted seats and lush pillows with very not arabic songs and ESPN (??). but those are meaningless without the laughters, tears, heartbreaks and strength shared among us.

KORANG, KORANG BEST TAU NGGAK?

in my silence, i’m grateful to be there and show you: here’s me, i’m one more person who could give you strength and support, a lending ear, a crying shoulder with the rest of us. more days with all of you. it’s been so long since i’ve felt important among friends. because honestly, it doesn’t feel the same with old schoolmates anymore. i can’t seem to speak the same language with them some of the times. though i still treasure their friendships.

ten years ago, i never imagined i could make some ‘outside’ friends, due to my quiet nature, but ten years down the road…i can truly say, my heart-ed friends, are from non-alma mater (read:non-ma*arif*ians).

just Thank You.

dedicated to the 7 of you girls: and you girls have to bear in mind, this kind of song is never my type of fave music genre, but for the sake of you all, i just feel like dedicating this to you.

we are SOOO MISS(ES) Independent 😉

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