seize.the.day

When we do something impromptu

santorini baby!

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i forgot to say hello to september.

its going to be our fourth year. and we are celebrating it with a honeymoon to….Santorini!

i am so excited about it but i am also feeling a bit nervous about flying. the last time i travelled was last year’s hongkong. and i want, i need to focus on my trip, so i better make sure that my work work is pretty much cleared or delegated to next person in charge. hopefully coming back feeling refreshed and inspired. well considering that the very moment i stepped down, im going to be involved with Korban. i was actually feeling pretty anxious with all the work, but after discussing with my teachers, i realised it is not so bad after all. In Sya Allah.

i pray that everything will be well. me and hubby there and everyone else here. i am really nervous but i have to keep calm and enjoy this trip. because i need this vacation! both of us need this! perhaps if God willing, a baby is created here. amiin.

everything will be alright. tawakkal.

10 books. tagged

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I got tagged on facebook by a friend on the 10 books which have stayed with me/affected me in some ways. i have them list here:

1. The Twins at St Clare’s series – Enid Blyton
2. Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
3. The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
4. Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
5. The Glass Castle – Jeannette Wells
6. The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffennegger
7. Quiet – Susan Cain
8. The Messenger – Tariq Ramadan
9. The storyteller – Jodi Picoult
10. And the mountains echoed – Khaled hosseini

It is not an easy choice because i have a few more books which had affected me in some ways.

musings of an introvert

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If I add this title to my blog, I will be one of the 131 000 google listings of blogs and websites which have this same title.
I was just playing with the idea of having a separate blog with the very same title but I don’t think so anymore. haha. but I am having so much fun reading some of the blogs. It’s a whole community I tell you! We have all been misunderstood. and still is.

so i would really like to have that blog of prose and sajak and perhaps short stories. and i was thinking maybe i should write with a pseudonym. i have so many creative ideas in my head right now i could explode! exaggerating much. but really, i was on a sewing high yesterday. and i am definitely so excited to create the gifts for teachers’ day and truly hope we could do the terrarium workshops. and even though i am pretty much broke at this point of time, i really cant wait to go buy stuffs! Spotlight and Chinatown, here i come!

ok. mondays are always exhausting for me. so going to turn in early today.

goodnight.

first distinction

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yes, first distinction after almost 7 years after i completed my degree studies. of course, i have always been proud of my results during my uni years, plus making it to the dean’s list in one of my most difficult semesters. that had been a sweet success.

but yes, a distinction in my first assignment for my specialist diploma in counselling. who would have though?! it had been a very very tough assignment ok. and i felt so studious working on it. i enjoyed it. and i was happy i still have that writing streak in me.

well whoever said counselling was easy eh? it was totally not and with all the role plays i have been doing, although half heartedly, i know it was not an easy thing to be asking the right questions. i still havent had that eureka moment on counselling, still quite confused with all the different therapies, and when to say what, what to ask, what is it that we want the client to achieve at the end of the session. there was a lot of thing to consider. especially who the client is. that already takes a lot of thinking and trying to understand what kind of a client someone is and which kind of therapy works best for him or her and what is the goal of the counselling sessions. let’s not talk about the many ethics you have to be aware of also.

so i get it now. it was not an easy job. but i guess, learning it had been fun, and it better worth the fees i am paying for, hehe. but i think, my learning journey is not going to stop once i completed this course. i kind of have a list of courses i want to take afterwards but it has to be at a general pace. cannot be taking everything at one time.

help me Lord.

time travel

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i have always been fascinated with time travelling. although watching the movie Back to the Future wasnt what triggered it. it was actually the idea of angels, the Muslims ideal of angel, and the concept of light years or speed of light which i stumbled upon so many years ago when i was really into space and the universe.

and that this very concept was mentioned in the Al-Qur’an in Surah Al-Ma’arij:4
“To whom ascend the angels and the spirit in a day the length of which is fifty thousand years.”

i am blown away. the Qur’an and mathematical proof. i love time travel and sometimes i believe human, well at least, the human mind have that capacity and the possibility of doing it.

so i think i had the privilege of experiencing it during my first NLP class. i mean almost. it was this timeline therapy that the trainer was introducing to us. it has quite complicated steps and i wasnt sure it will work for me because my brain is still being conscious. my unconscious mind still quite dormant. it was some brain exercise there. but the key is to really tap into your unconscious mind and dont ‘think’ about it.

i went through it. and till now, i am still wondering how it was ever possible.

it was to get over anger, one out of five main human feelings. we close our eyes, relax and just listen and follow the instructions given by the trainer. i was brought into a recent moment when i was really angry. i thought i was quite a passive person and rarely got angry, but then again, i recalled a time i was really being angry, and an indication of it was that my hand shakes. got into that moment. so follow follow instructions, and what do i know. i was brought into one lifetime before i was born. and a picture came to mind.

i mean the image does not show much. it was more like a big field, almost like a desert, and i was looking at a van that was leaving me behind. but the feeling was definitely angry, for being left out, alone. when we ‘woke up’ from that experience, i was feeling really exhausted. the ‘travelling’ exhaust me. i asked my trainer, was there a meaning behind it? should i be worried about it? should i find answers? she said no. but till now, i can still clearly see that image in my mind. and wonder am i really out of anger now? well, i still feel angry now and then. that was me, well, that feeling i had was a me from before. i was totally stumped. i still can’t quite comprehend it. or i dont understand how it works. but i am one of a believer.

looking forward to my next NLP session and discover more! 🙂

canon newbie!

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20140518-221436.jpg

after contemplating and trying to save up for a canon, we received a surprise by getting one as a gift! i am so in love with the camera and although it was not exactly the model i was aiming for, well, its good to start somewhere! i could probably give more focus on my new found interest in photography now, and not just any social media instagram photographer. and you know what, i even have two professional photographers i am looking up to: Annie leibovitz and Peter sanders.

i will continue to save up until i can finally afford a proper dslr canon.

post reading

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it is a combination of what i learnt from nlp and the knowledge i gained from reading this book. i have to say, they are probably things i have learnt or heard from before, but hopefully from reading them, i am more than eager to try out all the spiritual tips shared with goal setting nlp style.

so here are what i chose to do.

1. Take care of my prayers. really take care now. more than ever. with age catching up fast and all.
2. Tahajjud and my favourite solat sunnah – solat tasbih. i admit, for the past few years, i made effort of doing them during Ramadan. difficult yes. but no more. time to make a routine of it. small steps surely.
3. Sadaqah, the power of sadaqah must not be taken lightly. i did my part but i want to do more. because truly the rezeki we received or gained is not ours and it is our responsibility to give it to those rightful over it. until then, can it be called our rezeki.
4. be grateful.

precious two days

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the way i see it, i am beginning to see these two days off as some form of rezeki. you know how rare it is for me to have a two day straight off with me coming back to work on sundays and becoming pretty much e.v.e.r.y.w.e.e.k

i feel like at least once in a month thus far, i am able to take two days off, due to the public holidays we have been having. it has been a very busy year yes. and during these two days luxury, i had been able to spend time with husband, with family and do some me thing be it reading, blogging, cleaning up, scrapbooking or sewing.

so for today, i am finally going to be able to sit down and read up my school textbooks to revise and get down on the assignments i am due end of this month. and then move on to hectic weeks till, let me see mid of June?

I am really hoping to take some days off to do some sewing from raya too. honestly, i am scared to face the weeks ahead. 😦

rejabku

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Rejabku penuh sibuk
Rejabku pantas berlalu
Rejabku hanya tugas bertalu
Rejabku jangan hilang begitu

Rejabku penuh pilu
Rejabku terusik qalbu
Rejabku khabar sayu
Rejabku jangan marahkan aku

Rejabku lihat dakwah sana
Rejabku disini dakwahku
Rejabku menanda tanya
Rejabku, apa yang dikejarkan?

Rejabku, luaskan dakwah ku
Rejabku, ikhlaskan ibadah ku
Rejabku, laksanakan amanahku
Rejabku jangan hilang begitu

Allahumma baariklanaa fii Rajab wa Sya’aban, wa ballighnaa fi Ramadhan

fulfillment

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my own lovely laptop is giving me this flow of creative juices in writing. i love it.

at work now, but working on this laptop instead of the pc make work more purposeful. but sorry, i am actually stealing a bit of time because i cannot wait to write this down. it is 8 more minutes to lunch time though. and its monday! i do not function properly on mondays nowadays because i am now working on both weekends. i have missed many weddings due to this ok! pfft! and yes, with only friday as my off day. i definitely can take off in lieus but my working on sunday means i am taking over a class actually teaching two whole sessions. so come monday, which is my actual working day, i have to come back because all my administrative works awaits me. so tell me when can i take off in lieu?

why am i back on sundays, apart from just overseeing just making sure things are ok, i am now taking over two classes, although we have advertised looking for part time teachers, we have yet to receive any applications. its been a month, coming to two already! oh come on, i have been coming back on sundays since school starts in January! its been one thing to another!

back to my point, i am only taking over, but i am also beginning to care for the students a lot. i have not been teaching for quite some time, and coming back to teach takes a bit of adaptation and mindsetting but i am beginning to really love the students. i am concerned on what they will learn and benefit from?

particularly yesterday. i decided the students need a bit of important additional lessons. i planned the lesson happily and purposefully hehe. and this was an enjoyable process actually because i attended lesson design workshop last month and now i am able to apply them, it did make more sense! and the most satisfying part of it all is when i was able to deliver the lessons as i have pre imagined it to be, and the faces of interest and questions the students asked, involved and just willing to learn. i see their faces light up and thinking expressions and reflections. taking down notes and even finding out there and then (through google though but a learning moment happening at that time as well). It truly is fulfilling. and i feel more love towards these students. the thought that they wanted to learn more and we may have been depriving them the right for that knowledge. SubhanAllah. i am truly glad we did those lessons, and thankful to one of my teacher who also developed a lesson plan for another class. and both of us think it had been such a fulfilling and satisfying class!

I have been enjoying a bit of my work lately with lesson designing and classroom observation, and putting together all the other tools and skills i learnt from my courses. being able to talk and discuss with the teachers about lesson and how we can improve them. it really is worth the time and effort. I feel more my self and what the work actually demands from me. not just paperworks and reports. i hope everything will turn out well for me especially.

Alhamdulillah. i guess it is also telling myself to ‘be present’ and able to carry out my responsibility as an employee and importantly as a wife as well. even though i was truly tired and aching, came back home, straight away to the kitchen to cook dinner for me and hubby. being able to balance and put things into perspectives and ‘compartmentalise’ them in its actual place, moment and time. it helps. and husband has been truly accommodating and patient with all my time away from work. we treasured those days when we are able to spend a full whole day just the two of us.

alhamdulillah.

and so, i think i deserve a gift for myself. that, a symbol of hard work. and continue for more hard work. but at least, looking at it might bring a smile.