hi. been busy these days with work and school. i like that..saying ‘work and school.’ like i have a meaningful mission to accomplish.

school has been mild going at the moment although the lecturer has started to remind us about the assignment that we need to do. its been all theories, a reminiscence of theories i have had the fortune to learn back in uni in Intro to Psychology. i was reminded of pavlov and freud and erikson. i enjoyed them. although back then i learnt for the sake of learning and was not inclined to take it up as my second major, i never regretted doing it. i chose sociology instead. again, no regrets, oh except for one, i wished i had the chance to do criminology. that would have sealed the deal. but already deviant behaviour was such an eye opener and depressing. haha.

so back in my specialist diploma class. i was introduced though, to quarterlife crisis and the lecturer invited us to reflect on that. what crisis did we face back when we were 25? i couldnt think of any in class but on the way back home, i thought about it, i guess i cannot say i did not have a quarterlife crisis. everyone has.

my crisis was about choosing a career. i was doing temporary projects at that point of time and i realised my position was in jeopardy because i cannot see myself doing what i was doing. i was thrown from one task to another without specific something to focus on, except for the sudden interest in education and curriculum. i was also teaching part time and quite put my mind and heart into it, up to a point that my parents questioned when was i going to ever spend a proper rest day at home? and then i got thrown into a fulltime job, which was what lead to what i am doing now.

and then there was the matchmake decision i had to do. thrown into knowing a man chosen by my parents and uncles. it was about whether to go for this relationship or to continue leading a single life when week after week i receive invitations to weddings of schoolmates, uni-mates, etc etc.

my crisis was with myself. too shy too boring too quiet too simple, still quite unsure of what to do with my life just yet. just look at my blogposts year 2009. 😉 heck, go straight to January 2009 and see what you get, a questionnaire with song titles. one question: what is your life’s purpose? my answer? =damn regret! (by the red jumpsuit apparatus) fuhh! that’s one for the memory lane!

it was a matter of making decisions. but i cannot say i did not have some achievements that year, no?

i have not regretted my decisions but work is really taking its toll on me.

but with all the odds, i braved myself to claim time off, left whatever pending works and took halfday to spend last thursday with recovering mother, although it was more of her accompanying me to a massage session. which i am really really glad i did. the makcik masseuse ‘untie all knots’ till i am practically bruised. and i understood why so many people have been saying i look tired! my body was really really tired, i have just ignored it. poor body. but it was pampered for a whole two hours. even my mother was relieved i finally made the massage appointment. i am glad to announce this makcik as my personal masseuse. hehe.

and then i spent the whole day friday with my mother and sisters. its been such a long time since we all girls went out together. i truly am happy and grateful we get to do this before my sisters start working and my mother well enough to get back to work. so so glad. i practically splurged on myself and on them. i feel like i was going through a wardrobe overhaul! i really did though i was very happy with the dresses/blouses i bought. i am thirty after all, need to dress well i must say. i loved the day. i wasnt even feeling tired when i had to go straight to class. i just had such a fulfilling day chatting and shopping with them. really we had so much to talk about.

slowly getting over my quarterlife crisis. slowly make the right decision. as of now, i will work my ass off. sorry the pun intended.