longing

i came into ramadhan with a prayer. and i’m left with 4 more days. will my prayer be answered within this short period?

and i do not think that my prayer will be answered. just not yet. but i’ll keep on praying.

Forgive me Lord.

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One tree hill is back with season 6 and i’m loving it!!
the first episode of season 6 is such a comfort after the turmoil and frustration that i, yes I faced, last season. just how much can you get affected with dramas~
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morale boost

Are you unhappy with your current job? Is waking up and going to work a daily burden with you? Then try these simple but effective tips on how you can be more satisfied with your work and remove the unhappiness and frustration from your current job. After all, if you are unhappy with your job, it will also affect all aspects of your life.

Be proud of yourself and your work

It doesn’t matter whether you are a restroom janitor or a president of a multi-million dollar company. Taking pride in the work you do is the first step in job satisfaction. Give it your best. Always go for quality work. At the end of the day, knowing that you’ve done your best gives you a feeling of pride and satisfaction.

Create an attitude of enthusiasm

Believe it or not, you can be happy with your current just by changing the way you approach it. If you think that your job is so boring and monotonous, it will be boring and monotonous. So start thinking that your job is exciting and challenging. Your attitude towards your job is the product of your thoughts. And since you are in total control of our thoughts, you are in control of your attitude. This is your daily challenge: Create an attitude of enthusiasm to your work, no matter what you feel. By changing your attitude, you change your feeling. And when you have that positive feeling, you will be satisfied. Try this and be prepared for a big change.

Creativity is the key

You feel that your job is so boring and monotonous. So what can you do to perk it up a bit? Examining what you can do to change the daily approach of your work is another way of bringing in a new challenge to your job. Be creative in your ideas and soon you will find out that there are numerous ways you can change the routine of your work. Ask yourself, what else can I do that no one has thought of? Or what can I do to be more productive in eight hours? Not only will you be challenged to engage in more work, but the possibility of management noticing your initiative is inevitable.

The specialist

Of course you have plans of career advancement, right? Then try this on for size: Study the work you do by taking down notes and practicing it even for just one hour a day. In a short time, you could be the company’s specialist in that discipline. By genuinely being interested in your work, you get a natural tendency to be enthusiastic because of the learning you have gained.

You are a professional

Yes, you are a professional. Someone who can be counted on when management needs your expertise. Your standards are high and you do not accept second best. You are very cooperative and approachable. A professional always does his work consistently right the first time. And when you are a professional, you enjoy your work.

The sky is the limit

Again, your attitude towards your work will greatly affect your satisfaction. So do not think that you are limited to this and that kind of job. You don’t have to box yourself in and produce less than what you are capable of. Utilize and maximize your abilities do work “above and beyond the call of duty.” Again, be proud of your work and have that enthusiastic point of view to break out of the things that hold you back.

You are a reporter

Write down notes and ideas you have learned through the years or through seminars and conferences you’ve attended. Keep track of changes in the workflow and always be updated on the latest trends and changes in the market. If your ideas can help the company, then implement it as soon as possible. All of these things will contribute to the challenge of creating a more satisfying job.

The grass is greener on your side

Most amateurs think that the grass is greener on the other side. And that’s what they will always be: amateurs. Being a professional, you know that the grass on your side of the fence is greener. You don’t have to look for opportunities on the other side when all of the challenges you need are in your own company. Again, be creative in finding them and stop looking at the other side of the fence.

Your thoughts, attitude and the way you handle your work will greatly determine how satisfied you are with your job. If you do your work right the first time—and if you do it with enthusiasm, creativity, professionalism and quality—then management will surely give you credit for a job well done. Your rewards may not come immediately, but you’ll be surprised how soon it gets to your feet.

extracted from http://succeedwiththis.com

at the 11th minute

“at the 11th minute” is what people will say when they at the last minute and rushing to be doing something, anxious and hearts beating fast. and that’s how i’m feeling now. it’s already the 11th day and i have NOT done enough! my Lord i have not done enough.

and it frustrates me that all these works piling up and up, can everything just stop for a while. and not rush me.

tonight is the night

i was just thinking and remembering that this same night, 6 years ago, i made a turning point. and i yearn to have that feeling again. is tonight the night?

6 years ago, i made a very difficult decision. but this night have helped me to pull through. for i know there’ll always Be There. i remember this night had given me strength. truly.

and days ago i had to make a difficult decision. again. and i understood the moment i voiced out my decision, there are going to be challenges. there are going to be hardships. which might just pull me down. i understood that well enough. even if i were to choose the other. the same rule applies. i know it’s going to be hard. i just wasn’t expecting it to be rushing down on me.

for every hardship there is relief, seri, for every hardship there is relief.

but maybe tonight is the night?

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aside from that, after so long not talking about the friend, i happened to hear two different news about the friend within the span of 7 days. neither good nor bad, coz i don’t care..anymore.
heard the friend is getting engaged soon. and then heard the friend was sentenced to a month’s jail. a world’s apart of news, heh?

and now i began to not understand why things happened, why the friend had to be a …friend…back in those days? i had always believed the friend more, despite all those ‘stories’. always had.

and now i began to think, for all those ambiguous words you said to me, friend. i guess there is one truth.

“you’re right, friend, i don’t deserve you.”

thank you for not being a friend anymore. coz it hurts less this way.

the force

I’m putting this video not so much for the pride of Rsaf, but rather the trailer’s words. I mean, so nicely said, that there’s only One which i think of everytime i saw this commercial on tv.

and reminded of one Hadith Qudsi, well not the same words, but the meaning can be quite similar.

On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said: Allah the Almighty said:

I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

monday licence


lessons after lessons, and final two lessons back to back after work. and the utter nervousness i felt since last saturday, and i truly know now how it felt when you say ‘you have butterflies in your stomach’. and believe me, you do.feel.butterflies.
wake up too early just because i couldn;t really sleep for the test was haunting me.

and all the way to the driving school…all the ‘wasiats’ my previous instructors have given me reeling through my mind. recalling immediate failures so that i won’t do them. remembering all the tips i’ve learnt. my Lord, i’m screaming inside!!

throughout warm up, i was just praying i won’t get my nervous breakdowns. tak pernah seumur hidup nervous macamni!!! not even during O levels, A levels, my Uni exams!
grateful to my friend Hamzah whose an instructor himself, and motivated me all the way…

and all not wasted!! i’m certified and licensed and legal now to DRIVE!!!! i’m still glowing because honestly, half way through the test, i knew i made mistakes, and vertical parking was nerve wrecking!! i was so sure i was going to fail!!

but those were…small mistakes…and right after the Traffic Police Tester explained my mistakes…he casually remarked…YOU PASSED. i was dumbfounded!!
and then i was smiling practically to everyone!! and congratulating those who passed the test when we met at this Video room.

that’s one thing… they give us the licence, and then they scare us 😉

is this for real??!!! :)))
YEY!!! YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEY!!!!!!!!

YEYEYEYEYEYEYE!!!!!

coming of age

yes! a new look for this new age.
a bit plain but clean cut. and i love zen-ny clear and smart look

a better outlook on life
a better management of time and days
definitely better days, insya Allah!
Lord, please remind me to always be grateful for You have given much.
and i’m asking for more guidance and mercy.

i’m caught between crossroads again. between choices.
and here i remember dr kamar’s advice in her talk i went few weeks ago: “Talk to God. Always talk to God.”

-25-

i’m past my bedtime but i want to spare some few minutes on this.
the week has been…yes…overwhelming… so much for a birthday week! hehe

i rushed to complete things, do write ups (and still not yet the one i promised Suli for the e-bulletin!!) and also my student’s help in writing out the transliteration for solat’s readings!! and still on my framework!! oh no oh no, kanciong leyyy!

honestly, 24/7 is not enough! when can all these be over?! i honestly can’t wait for this end of august, when i will be visiting IIU, KL, with my mother. please, Lord, let me realise this!! ;))

and not to say, i had fevers, on and off, this week. and am still having this so irritating flu! yea! yet again. i’ve lost count how many times i’ve fallen sick this year! and some people still commented that my voice is not back yet…guess what…i’m coughing now! but not so much as the one which made me lose my voice quite recently.

and truly a bombshell exploded, on monday, my birthday that is. you know when i used to say how singapore is so small and you tend to meet who’s this and this to one other person, you know this 6-degrees of separation they’ve been buzzing about. well, mine had to be this….there are some people i wanted to avoid, for the rest of my life, if that’s quite possible.

these same some people, they might be directly or indirectly connected to me, so to say. let’s put things briefly. of all people, it had to be HER!! it had to be her whom i have to be working with!! i know she’s way beyond my problem, but it’s just that…why does it has to be her? i don’t know, my mind’s chaotic at this moment.

my heart’s just screaming. ok seri need to focus on life now, ok. 25’s a big number. and quite honestly, i’m feeling these changes within me. my emotions, my mind.

i’m thinking my life is like this UNO Stacko. i have all these blocks of colours and numbers stacked up nicely, but then i have to rearrange them, just to make sense of all the colours and numbers, without, WITHOUT FALLING DOWN. how do i take one block out from the stacks without the risk of the blocks moving, swaying dangerously, just waiting to crash down. how do i know which one to take out, put away, or re-fix it somewhere along the stacks? what will happen if it all crash? where do i start to put them all back together?

so complicated.

and people, please stop asking me when’s my ‘time’? what time? i don’t have time, ok!so just stop. yes most of you are attached, engaged and married, not to forget, beranak-pinak. so what? just not my time yet laaaa!! tanya, tanya!
and i have to admit my heart’s breaking by the very minute (yeah, because of this and that), and i don’t know why, with this -25- i keep getting thoughts of a someone from years back who i know is just out of reach. it’s escapism.

i don’t know what i’m angry about. haha. this is embarrassing. you never know who’s reading this blog. but keep your thoughts to yourself ok.

25

i turned 25 today!!

i’m warmed by the thoughts and wishes from friends near and far, the girls and sisters. terharu laaa sehhh. :))

however the day was a mix of emotions, really. happiness, melancholy, gratitude, and if i may say, even sadness. and honestly, i can’t quite put what is it that cause me to be so messed up.

oh maybe i was, yes, sick…again…

all the same, 25 is so overwhelming!!! there’s still so much i have yet to achieve!!
So i pray to my Lord, to grant me a longer life, a better health, so that i may achieve these dreams…and as everyone aspires, be a better muslim all the way…

i feel blessed that this year my birthday falls on this noble month of Rejab.
May Allah grant my prayers, bless my family and friends. may we all live today to be granted a life in the hereafter. Insya Allah. Amiin.