i was on the bus on my way to somewhere, and i love it when the bus has TVMobile, so that i woudln’t be dead bored, my mind’s wandering to unnecessary things. i actually looked forward to getting on buses with TVMobile!!

so yesterday, there was the news and one of them was about how some NTU hostel rooms will be refurnished for three persons in each room…so some of the students don’t really like the idea, like two’s a company and three’s a crowd~

listen (oh, okay, read) to what i have to say.
spoilt br*****!! having a room is good enough as it is, and comfortable even, a bed, a study table, one decent wardrobe and enough space to have a party for two!

they just don’t know how fortunate they are to even have a THREE persons sharing a room. let me tell you of the room issues which students of a certain well-known university back in KL. 4 persons in a divided room, now that’s still ok. what about 8 in a whole square room? and 2 persons sharing in one squeezed compartment? a doubledecked bed, one long desk to be shared by two people, and oh yeah, one whole wardrobe for two persons.

now even an 8-sharing dorm room is good enough provided it’s clean and habitable. what if you are unfortunate enough to get an unsightful room full of dirt, wooden bed with broken planks, a wardrobe which looks like some guy had just hacked the whole thing with a hammer, or a very unartful scraped wall full of left over tapes and unblinded blinds….

hmm, not to say that singaporean NTU students could actually go home right then and there and still be in campus right on time for the 8 am class!! while some other singaporean students somewhere in the neighbouring country do not have that luxury of running back home every night every time they feel like it!

and to think these so very fortunate NTU students consider themselves as scholars, learners, intelligentsia, they couldn’t tolerate one hardship. i’m so going to get it if any NTU students read this post. granted i do not know one single thing about NTU or how people are like or how the environment is like in NTU, but i was thinking, we should be more grateful or learn a bit more hardships.

there is no better time to learn about hardships then during your years in a university, need to make sacrifices here and there most times. think about our parents who actually gone through some very hard times to get even a decent education, why can’t we endure some small space during 4 years of study. heck, you can always go back home sweet home if you think you need SPACE.

i’m not going to flare up about some uni’s hostel room, but it did irritate me that singaporean young people are so manjalara, that every single shortage is going to be some big issue. everything on a silver platter and every thing must be ‘perfect’.

admittedly, we (those who were fortunate enough to get the experience of studying ‘next door’) used to fret and ‘complain’ a lot during our stays in the ‘now-beloved’ university, because yes there are always some shortage here, or some discomfort there, but in the end, we were so grateful to have a second-home to live in, and it taught us strength, independence and a sense of gratitude with what we have, we achieve, and know somewhere in our hearts, our sacrifices are worth it.

(heck, even IIU students are manjalara at times!)

so students, yours is a mission, not leisure. so expect to live in hardships. or else, don’t call yourselves ‘know-it-all’ because you don’t. you don’t know how to live in scarcity. so learn.

1. Finish up Super Six write-up.
2. Work out a schedule of sorts for NM (a new project)
3. Have a look at content review work
4. Have a look at Lesson plans
5. Oh yeah!! Report on Project Y

6. I did not know Saosin was here, right here in Singapore, just few days ago, until much later!!!! izhar, did you know saosin was here?? why didn’t i know saosin was here?? (mono: is it important to know? ) saosin was here laaa weiii~~

7. the whole clan went to a maulidur rasul gathering today at Expo. (Lord, i miss going for maulids, especially the Al-ma’arif-style maulid!) and it was amazing. one whole hall filled with selawats and zikirs. it touches the soul.

8. and right beside, at the next hall, there was a gathering aka sunday mass for city harvest church. two religious events going on side by side. all dressed up nice and pretty, greeted by the morning sun, coming together to find truth. if only they knew.

9. i was wondering…saw two young girls smoking at the bus stop. looking smug and hey-i’m-smoking kind of look. we do not want to stereotype, but what is the societal blueprint for smoking girls? and they don’t even have this ashamed look on them (there was both my parents there). what would their parents say? do their parents even know they’re smoking? how are their family like? why the need to smoke their life away??
they were puffing with pride, i tell you. are smoking malay muslim (i assumed) girls THE NORM now?

i wanted to write (as if you can write in a blog) something, but suddenly i’m blocked out.
i mentioned to my Ratu today that maybe my ‘semangat akal’ hilang. what’s semangat akal you say?? if you’ve been reading my blog for quite some time, you would know i like to create words or terms, which may not sound dictionaryable (there, another out-of-nowhere word). what i termed as semangat akal, is your thinking part of your self. i’m always like this. i thought i’ve lost it somewhere.

need to get back to basics, my Ratu said. you sure is right. i’ve been neglecting certain things which i used to do everyday. i need to start doing all those deeds again.

now there’s various ways how you may lose your semangat akal.

one is when you’ve been out of school for so long. when you are not in this ‘studying’ environment.

next is when you get too used to everyday routine. you take for granted and became stagnant, because you begin to feel there’s nothing more to do. you’re not progressing, peeps.

or when you have too much things to do, you just don’t know where to start or what to do. regardless of the environment you’re in.

or when you have become detached from your own self. this is quite hard to explain.

leaving school is the hardest part of my life. at the moment. studying and being in the learning environment has always been the central root of me being in the reality. now, even when i’m still in a similar circle, i’m still searching for something which in the end, will tell me, this is it, THIS IS ME.

apart from all this, i’m grateful for everything which had happened, for the opportunities laid before my eyes, so Seri, why not let’s just move on.

my very first attempt at driving at night just now! i was pretty nervous, and my instructor had the good mind of letting me drive around circuit few rounds before driving on the road. which was a very good idea, so i could at least expect how dark it’s going to be out there.

but it wasn’t so bad people, i actually had a rolling good time driving and turning. i was pretty a smooth driver~ (puji diri sendiri, ahakzzz!)

my ‘best friend’ came back after wandering around the world the past two months. yeah, she left because i was too busy and stressed out, and always rushing from one place to another, but alas, this morning she came knocking.

more driving tomorrow. yey!!!

my CONGRATULATIONS for the four smart young ladies, students of my beloved alma mater for participating in The Arena, the ‘coolest’ debate show on TV! you girls make us proud!! Our prayers are with you dears. One thing to keep in mind, Look up to the sky but keep your feet grounded, babes! don’t let the wind blew you away~

anyway, i was on my way back, when i came across this vending machine which have this instuctions:

hmmm, like, ddduuhhh?? i didn’t know we still need to be TOLD about this? ahakkz!

week’s pretty hectic. and i actually went to bed very very early last night and slept through the night. i slept like a log, macam balas dendam seh!!! as per usual, brain drain throughout the week, and i guess teaching teens 1A really took its toll. really, i won’t feel tired after teaching my two teens 2 classes, but to continue on teaching the afternoon class with a bunch of hyperactive students, without lunch that is, is really a true test of strength maaannnn! 1A, there must be something which can help improve the situation!! i was alright getting them out in the sun, let them play this Zar game, and then a very short discussion about goals and purpose, before they all start their mad factory!!

exhausted, i actually dozed off while waiting for 72 which was lambat toooottts punyer at yio chu kang!

now this comes to another thought, i seem to feel that everything is going too slow nowadays!! except for the mrt, the bus is too slow for my patience. seriously! you could wait more than 20 minutes for one bl…dy bus!! for example, i would be at the bus stop at 6 pm, and then i would be waiting for the bus, which will reach at 6.20pm. it took bl…dy twenty minutes for the bus!! there was this one time, i left work at 5pm, having to rush back home, wait for 153….which NEVER CAME after 40 minutes waiting for it! while throughout waiting for it, there’s 3 88 buses, 2 159s, and a whole lot of buses but NO 153. really tested my patience seh!! in the end, i had to take another bus which uses a longer route…so no point of ‘RUSHING’ back home. it spoilt my mood terribly. I’m telling you, THE SBS TRANSPORTATION IS GETTING SLOWER and for me who had to run around from one place to another, it really annoys me to have to wait. i don’t have the patience la weiii.

and fast foods such as McD and KFC are no longer FAST FOOD joints, people. they are bl…dy slow too. once i ordered a mere McCafe whatever, and it took them exactly 11 minutes to get it ready! yes i counted the minutes (i’m always counting time these days). the guy’s serving me, was having his nice time doing it, talking to his colleagues, and granted that the cafe machine’s need to be refilled, (but hey, aren’t you guys should be constantly checking the machines whether it’s full or not? not wait till a customer ordered one, then baru nak terkial-kial cari barang) what toottts!!! and i did tell him off, with the manager just nearby, i told him sarcastically,”it took you exactly 11 minutes to prepare one McCafe???? You have got to improve your service.” and the guy was saying, “sorry mam…” Yeah, whatever!
and KFC’s the same thing, slow meloww. worst. don’t call yourselves FAST FOOD now ok!
sometimes i feel like telling them “buat kerja cepat sikit boleh tak??”

fortunately there’s the mrt, but one problem, too crowded at times. and after so many times people pushing me without saying sorry, i think i have took up this bad habit, or sometimes, i would push them back without saying sorry. we have become very selfish people.

ok, maybe it’s just me. i need to learn to be more patient. i do am impatient, most times. i like to be on time, i don’t like things or people to wait for me, so i rushed around. and i expect others to rush also, or at least, be on time as well. but these are circumstances i cannot control. so Seri, be more patient ok!!

my avixe….

i have to say this tiny little thing has done more wonders and a great service for a good four years. it will be hard to part from you.

my avixe which has gone through the ups and downs, all through the sleepless nights, endured the PCs in the libraries or cybercafes or computer labs, braved through the viruses by stupid smartasses. and then all kinds of knowledge saved in your tiny ‘mind’. remember the goddesses and the subcultures, the numerous assignments, my SECRETS, programme documents and databases. you’re the only thing who knew me well enough, especially throughout my studies,far away from home, you’re the closest thing, well one of the things, i can call family. you’re always with me everywhere i go, without you, i am truly lost and handicapped.

even after we graduated, you’re still there for me. and we have endured four good years together. without any glitch, except for that only one time you had to be reformatted.

i remembered, when i just found you, a friend said that you won’t last long, for your ‘cousin’ which she owned, left her shortly after owning it. but i didn’t believe her then, i said, never mind, we’ll last as long as you can. and i’m glad i trusted you. for you have been true to me…..

my avixe…thumbdrive.

i find myself unable to part from you….

Laugh out loud people, but yes, i can be attached to the things i owned. very.

ok…next to another thumbdrive story…. i was ‘shopping’ with my brother. he wanted to buy some computer game laa, so i was looking around the computer shop, particularly searching for an external harddrive…but weeiiii, expensive seh!! so i moved on towards the cashier, and saw thumbdrives. i never intended to buy anything…now here’s the interesting part, even though it may already be ‘basi’ news to most of you (but heii, having a loyal thumbdrive denied me to be searching for others)….

ok, three years ago, to get a thumbdrive below $50, ok, you can get one, but it will only be 156mb, which come on lah, ciput jer!! if you can buy a 256mb, means you’re a WELL-OFF kid in the block! what more a 1 GB thumbdrive, with a cool brand and a stylish look (whatever that is). and thumbdrives are like the IN THING~ so when i got my 256mb avixe at a very corner shop, manned by cute bollywood-looking Indians at Sim Lim at a very affordable price, i know we’re fated to be together!! (ok, drag)

so NOW, i was really surprised, really really surprised to see that a 1GB, thumbdrive now cost…..i can readily give you 1GB thumbdrive if you answered this correctly……. but yeah, you cannot blame me for being ignorant also, i’ve left school since like, what? last May?? i don’t really need thumbdrives the latter half of the year!

it costs a mere $20 la weii!! 3 years ago, 1GB will cost almost a hundred dollars you know!!! you can see that blue FlashGO! thumbdrive, $20. i had to get it.

so ok, that’s the story between the new and old thumbdrive, like the Prince and the Pauper, or like the Barbie Princess and the pauper(ette)?? or like…..ok ok stop. 😉

can i have one Jumper boyfriend too??? ok, he may not look like this very matured-looking gorgeous young man named hayden christensen, but as long as he can ‘jumped’ me to every corners of the world, what more could i want? (lord, i sound so…..unlike me? ;)) but seriously, one minute you’re ON the sphinx, and the next you’re IN the Colosseum, my Lord, do these people really exist?? (this is what happened when you have too much Charmed and Heroes, and the Supernatural-s and ghostwhisperer-s, oh, not forgetting X-Men, your imagination runs haywire!)

bring back the spirit in me
bring back the enthusiasm
bring back the energy
bring back the willingness
bring back the ability to think
for i need to think think think
and act act act

and yes i have not been eating right
i have not been resting well
not sleeping enough
not thinking right even
and soul-descending

i’m chasing time
i’m searching for me…again