what can spoil my mood during my early morning busride, 45 mins to 60 mins of bus journey to work….

1. number one anti, that can instantly spoil a good mood, or even when i’m still in just-wake-up mode, is when someone who sits behind me, or beside me or standing beside me, SNEEEEEZESSSS, like he owned the whole bus!!! without handkerchiefs or tissue at hand to cover the mouth, but just sneeeezesss open air. YUCCCKKKSSS. GRRROSSSS tahap max laaa!!! i could almost imagine the dirty molecules and not to say whatever small atoms of his or her you know what coming out of those dirty mouths and noses. how stoopid can some people be?? how unhygienic can some people be?? all those germs flying around!! especially when it’s coming from behind me, i instantly felt dirty and ‘germulated’!! (germ+mutilated) i know it’s healthy to sneeze, but not when you just sneeze like there’s no one else on the bus!!

bingit tau!!! geli ahh!! and the smell… bluekkkk!!!! boring seh!! spoiler betul laa!

2. when you think taking the busride early in the morning, people around you would be fresh and smell of shampoos and nice body showers. you’re so wrong maaannn. ada jugaklah yang macam tak mandi. i’m ok with it as long as they don’t sit/stand near me. or worst, men/old men who’s whole body and aura smelled of cigarettes yang busuk. menusuk ke hidung, rasa macam badan kita pun bau rokok tahu tak!! minta ampun, all these can give me severe headache and emotional breakdown tau!!!

membakar semangat untuk….beli kereta!!!

oh i know why i’m feeling extra excited and anxious for this raya. (after an hour or so thinking about it…serious, sambil buat kerja, sambil terfikir2 the reason)

even though i’m working and got to shop for raya with own hard-earned money, dapat belanja adik2 lagik, that’s a fine and nice feeling really, but we are soo going simple this year. so takde la nak baju yang mahal2 la kan, and no real cuti exactly for raya, work as usual..it’s not like there’s new furnitures in da house, or new family members in da house..nnooo…but..

this is the first year i got to spend my whole ramadhan here in singapore with my family, straight on 30 days, after three years, back and fro to IIU and sometimes, almost the whole month fasting in IIU, and coming back to singapore for raya 2/3 days before raya.(remembered this one semester, i’m kinda tergolong dalam kumpulan orang-orang yang habis exam lambat, i got Creative Thinking paper, i remembered not really studying for it because dalam fikiran ni cuma nak baaaliiikk jer, and remembered, finished the paper within 2 hours out of 2 andahalf hours, ran back to my mahallah, grabbed my bags and terus, takde pandangbelakang lagik, balik!!! that was 2 days before raya!!!)

…and also, able to fast, this year, without worrying about exams and results afterwards!
(quote qzai, exam-exam pun ader jer yang nak buat video clip sdn bhd, kan, kan zaimah!)

so yeah, ’tis the reason behind the semangatness~

aisey mann, doing my tasks, which is not a very easy one to do. a tedious task i tell you. have to make sure the numbers are correct, miss out one, can die lehh….

there’s like only 5 of us in the office, and my bosses particularly are not around. mcm rileks sikit laa, and listening to raya songs, builds up the mood for raya laa!! tetiba jer semangat raya. this raya is simple for me and family. tapi macam terlebih semangat lak.

i shouldn’t be doing this at the moment but i need to.
most of my heads are either having a nap or mengemas their workspace(maklum ofis pun nak beraya)
tired la seii working~ ngantukz at the moment and need to find something that can at least make me wake up. and this is my sanctuary. always. favourite place of all.
and reading friends’ blogs always bring a mixture of feelings. happy, kelakar, sedih, sebak, apa lagi…takpe, yang penting stay awake sehh! oh by the way, iiu-mates bought scarves at masjid india!! i say maann, how can i forgot buying tudung at masjid india!! kat sini, macam susah nak cari tudung which is to my taste ah, balik2, tudung style Jelita boutique tu, hissh, dat kind of tudung, minta ampun, won’t wear it, licin sangat! (at the mo, i managed to get a tudung which suits my brown baju kurung, but that!! after hours rounding itu geylang!)

one thing for sure. i really miss days spent with my girls. i really do. i don’t know if it’s only me feeling/ thinking this way, but to the girls…we really should meet up, right???

17 Ramadhan
most noble of all men
Rasulullah s.a.w.
a meeting with gorgeous light
an angel for messengers
Read!
Read!
Read in the name of Allah.

when the words of Allah
greeted by the universe
welcomed by the angels
their wings as strings of pearls
on clear pebbles

in awe in wonder
for words
as real as can be
as unseen as can be
how words could lead
giving strength and faith
that this is it
which connects you and your Lord.

note: my expression unpoetic, the Qur’an is just so hard to describe
am left speechless though it is such a beautiful thing, it’s even hard to call it a ‘thing’. it’s just so special.

in remembrance of our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w and this night, when the truth was revealed.

allahumma salli ‘ala sayyidina Muhammad, wa ‘ala alihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
subhanallah wal hamdulillah wa laa ilaaha illALLAH wALLAHu akbar.

aku tak faham ahh apasal dia ni handsome sangaaattt….!

ok ok tak penting………….

I’m missing my friends. badly i guess. met a senior today and she asked, ‘tak miss puasa kat uia??’ haissh, tipu ah kalau cakap tak miss.

i miss buka ramai2 with singaporean mates at HS. THE meeting point always. went to the mini bazaar at engin carpark aka belakang CAC. despite the crowd, despite the snaking and kiasu m’sian style, will somehow went there once in awhile.

i miss teh ais! i miss this caramel dessert that i usually bought for break fast. usually beli nasi ayam, kalau nak beli nasi and lauk-pauk, sekali sekala jerlah, one meal could cost you up to RM5!!

i miss waiting for the azan at HS, and the pseudo-bilals around HS, mereka-mereka yang berangan nak laungkan azan tapi mempermainkan jugak, kesian orang-orang yang innocence, yang termakan dek ‘azan’ diorang! paling anti seh, orang2 yang suka main2 macam tuh!! but at this mo, they somehow form a remembrance.

i miss terawih at the mosque. i remember our saff, standing shoulder to shoulder, usually the international students are particular about standing close to each other, they would pull us beside them. and that culture is instilled in me, i find myself irritated kalau tak rapatkan saff, but the feeling is kind of different here. rapat, rapat, tapi…

remembered our first ramadhan, just entered iiu at the mo, sahur makan maggi! bila dah pandai sikit, turun gi mana-mana kantin yang buka for sahur, usually it’s mahallah asma’. or paling best, tak bangun langsung!! time tulah, menunggu waktu buka menghitung masa!!haha.

or i remembered the times when a few of us would gather at any one of our rooms, and stayed up till sahur, bebual-bual or study together if it’s exam time. remembered also some days buka at any of our rooms….

haishh, miss you girls…bila nak jumpa ahh??

Being at home allows me to watch alot of tv dramas. back to back sometimes, and it’s how sometimes reality gets intertwined with fictional characters. and how me got so intimidated and angered by some of the characters. they are just irritating, bitchy (forgive me for saying it)kepala toott, bengong, and kalau dalam bahasa indonesia, “s***l*n kamu!!” (ok, ok tak nak cakap, bulan mulia, jaga sikit bahasa)ader jugak orang2 mcmni kat dunia!! Bingit tau! ok ok they are just dramas and i should not get carried away, but sometimes i do. buat sakit hati betullah!

hikmah – this lisa woman who’s after adrian, and adrian was a stupid guy, let me tell you!! after being married to Ana for quite sometime already, he still doesn’t KNOW his wife but would rather listen to some woman from nowhere, dat lisa la!!
good thing was Eva (a’devil in prada’) was about to get a taste of her own work. everytime si lisa tu keluar, geram semacam!

janji diana – diana’s stepmother, whatever her name was, action cantik (nilah orang2 yang perasan lawa, macam ni lah), i don’t know why is it she hated diana a lot and complain complain complain ajer kejer dia! and to think that she was the one who wrecked diana’s family and ’caused’ her mother to have an early death. macamlah dia baik sangat! not forgetting aaron aziz’s character’s ex-tunang! dahlah buat salah, kena ‘tangkap’ red handed by aaron, she with a guy in her apartment, ada hati lagik nak kejar aaron. hish tak tahu malu betul.

rahsia perkahwinan – ni lagi satu, this girl named dian, muka jer baik, tapi rupa-rupanya another devil in prada. she fell in love with a pakar motivasi, who’s another stupid guy, who anak-anak dah besar panjang, isteri pun baik belaka, still nak juga bermain cinta dengan budak muda. and si dian ni pun macam tak faham2. bukannya dia takde peminat, ader jer si ‘haizad aka najib’ who wants to marry her, but she choose orang tua jugak. paling takleh angkat, her dialog when she and motivasi guy accidentally met the wife, how could she said, ‘nama jer bertudung, tapi perangai macam tu’. E eh!!what’s tudung got to do with the whole thing? what tooootttt!! you’re degrading, girl!! i. hate. you.

takdir yang terindah – a girl-next-door got framed being in a room with a guy. without both the girl and the guy knowing what had happened to them because they got drugged. it’s a college prank gone wrong. a girl masterminded the whole thing. now the good girl is having a hard time dealing with her kampung family and the guy has gone sober, consumed by his guilt. and the mastermind girl, ada hati lagi nak main-mainkan the guy, kata the girl dah pregnant lah aper laa. Dah takder keje lain ker??? nak kacau hidup orang?? berapa lah gaji dia dapat memainkan dan menyusahkan hidup orang!!

hah, drama aper lagik yang nak menyakitkan hati gue?? oh, seputih qaseh ramadan, entah aperlah salah si qaseh tu sampai mak mertua dengki sangat dengan dia?!!

belum lagik one tree hill!! ok, dat’s another story.

haisshh, people said that dramas are somehow based on real life characters. and i believe in that, mestilah director2 ni dapat ilham dari orang2 sekeliling right, from the society and these unfortunately bad people do exist. and when it’s close to home, or when something bad happen to someone close to us, you will get mad! what the heck are these people doing?? what is it that they are looking for?? finding pleasure out of people’s sadness and heartbreaks. simply heartless. barbaric, eh no, dayak pun tahu treasure and respect other people la sei. civilisation has turned man inhumane, animalic instinct, driven by unreasoned logic. hish, tak faham betullah orang2 macam ni. and talking about real life beb, i knew how it felt to be betrayed right in front of your very own nose. first class act punyer.

let us all pray, in this noble month, that days will get better, that someday these deviated people might find once again the right path. and let us pray for those characters afflicted with pain find peace and calm and may Allah guide and help us to find strength to go on. surely, success is sweeter for those in pain.
surely Allah is with those in patience. surely, Allah knows better.

dramas shown on tv have always been able to portray that. there’s a power above who will surely guide and show that those in difficulties always come out in victory.

life goes on dear people, prayers and thought, hugs and comforts for all close to us.

but tell me people, if you’re in my place, could you not buy the book???

for the record: mother was ok with it, she ‘scolded’ for a little while and then life goes on as per normal.

YEA!! Finish on time!! my 7 kunci is done~ time to go back……and buka!