it is such an understatement. most times when we ask people, are you ok??? and people tend to say ‘yeah i’m ok’ but deep inside you, you know they are not ok. you know something is troubling them. something is just so wrong. i’m ok has become such a favourite clause, that everytime people said it, you tend to take it for granted, taking it that people are really ok, and live it at that, not wanting to know more. just ok.

i think i want to stop asking ‘are you ok’? because people will automatically, sometimes without thinking, and says i’m ok. or sometimes, because they want to conceal their real feelings, what’s really bothering them, maybe because they do not want to hurt other people, or spoil the day by talking about what’s troubling them. or because it’s just not the right time.

and when people say i’m ok, it became a full stop. don’t ask anymore, i don’t want to talk about it. and ended up keeping them at heart, hurting oneself more, but then, keep talking about it, and you’ll be more hurt. so just stop. don’t ask.

but then again, i’ll be fooling people telling them i’m ok when am definitely not. and i know you know i’m not ok. but why do i say i’m ok??

i don’t want to ask, neither do i want to keep quiet about it. i need an honest question, for i want to give an honest answer. it’s just me. i always say i’m ok. when i’m not feeling that. i’m ok, just because i don’t want to talk about it, just because i’m ashamed, just because it hurts to talk about it. just because it doesn’t matter…..but it matters.

life has never been easy. never. we won’t value life without its hardships. we had it hard because there is a reason for it. because the Lord knows, only we, are strong enough to get through it. other people might give up and falter. but not us. the hardship has chosen us, not to fail us, but to be touched by Lord, to be the strength to go on and realise a dream. if things were easy, it won’t be sweet.

i just want to think of the good things. i have always told myself. don’t think of the things that deters me from doing what i want to. because these ‘things’ simply don’t deserve my attention. they just don’t.

i want to wake up to another day. smile a real smile. and say today is going to be a good one. i love me. i love what i’m doing. i have all these people around me who do care. i will not disappoint them.

it is such an understatement. most times when we ask people, are you ok??? and people tend to say ‘yeah i’m ok’ but deep inside you, you know they are not ok. you know something is troubling them. something is just so wrong. i’m ok has become such a favourite clause, that everytime people said it, you tend to take it for granted, taking it that people are really ok, and live it at that, not wanting to know more. just ok.

i think i want to stop asking ‘are you ok’? because people will automatically, sometimes without thinking, and says i’m ok. or sometimes, because they want to conceal their real feelings, what’s really bothering them, maybe because they do not want to hurt other people, or spoil the day by talking about what’s troubling them. or because it’s just not the right time.

and when people say i’m ok, it became a full stop. don’t ask anymore, i don’t want to talk about it. and ended up keeping them at heart, hurting oneself more, but then, keep talking about it, and you’ll be more hurt. so just stop. don’t ask.

but then again, i’ll be fooling people telling them i’m ok when am definitely not. and i know you know i’m not ok. but why do i say i’m ok??

i don’t want to ask, neither do i want to keep quiet about it. i need an honest question, for i want to give an honest answer. it’s just me. i always say i’m ok. when i’m not feeling that. i’m ok, just because i don’t want to talk about it, just because i’m ashamed, just because it hurts to talk about it. just because it doesn’t matter…..but it matters.

i miss you girls. and little girls.
life has never been easy. never. we won’t value life without its hardships. we had it hard because there is a reason for it. because the Lord knows, only we, are strong enough to get through it. other people might give up and falter. but not us. the hardship has chosen us, not to fail us, but to be touched by Lord, to be the strength to go on and realise a dream. if things were easy, it won’t be sweet.

i just want to think of the good things. i have always told myself. don’t think of the things that deters me from doing what i want to. because these ‘things’ simply don’t deserve my attention. they just don’t.

i want to wake up to another day. smile a real smile. and say today is going to be a good one. i love me. i love what i’m doing. i have all these people around me who do care. i will not disappoint them.

I was aware of the many children singing at the top of their lungs in the rooms opposite the theatre where the convention was held. But I was not aware that those children were from the church. Haha. Talk about religious harmony.

Interpret it any way you want. It just makes me more Islamically identified, more than ever. How opposites attract they say, on the same destinations following different paths. Wait, never on the same destinations. it’s always either left or right.

da’watic motivation on the run~

it’s always either left or right. I chose the upper way.

with romo and ratu

with best roomie Anna

forever kecoh @HS

CompaRE Grads. Nasir, me, Tawfique+his two awards, Najip

with the girls

with my sweet sweet little sisters. Thank you dears for the bouquet.

14th July-s . Izhar one more to go~

yey zaimah!! We made it!! Bouquets made up of fave coloured roses. Haha!!

The sponge flowers from the Girls. The one which preserves~

wif cuzzie aili

wif fana

wif syaspec. Happy Birthday Syaspec!!! @26th August

wif shasha

there you are…the grads

still exhausted from the trips to and fro kl-singapore.
i’m letting the pictures do the talking.
Euphoric, cloud nine, sacred, happiness, sacrifices
indescribable, is this IT….

Went to IIU last friday for the purpose of collecting convocation robe. It’s been quite awhile walking the familiar steps of IIU. I missed those. It felt almost like home being back in IIU.

Met shasha and far, first persons i met there. A warm welcome. i wanted to surprise them initially, but that didn’t happen. Oh well, still, my relief having get to meet them. What with cousin Aili back in Singapore. Lord, i missed sitting at HS talking to them, missed being with them.

Met with the new MRC of Halimah, I could almost see the enthusiasm and willing commitment in their faces. I pray that they can do better and achieve much more for Halimah. I really pray so. Already they were busy with their merdeka programmes. May their hard work and mrc days be the most memorable for them.

Met with Halimah SG girls. pity we couldn’t spend more time. missed having dinner at halimah with you girls!!

My heartiest thanks to Shasha, for letting me spend the night. To Far and Syaspec for being with me for robe collecting. I really would not have made it through without the three of you. love you girls!

will be back there again this friday for rehearsal. 032 mates, this could be our last midnight journey back to IIU. mantan rumah kedua…

15th August:

Collect the names and collate the data of people coming to the MMC 2007.
It’s tedious!! I spent nine hours receiving calls after calls and emails after emails, and fax after fax, and recording them down. And merge adresses.
Since I’ve started working, I’ve begun to practically ‘love’ MS Excel, and i know how to ‘merge’ letters, and i know that Ctrl + F will make you find a word without having to scroll down through 80 pages of MS Word document and whatnots. oh yes, learn to ‘pressure’ others just so my job will be easier.

Meet Zaimah, collect the tracer and whatever slips for her convo robe. @causeway point

16th August:

Do more of those data collecting.
Remember to book your bus tix!!

17th August:

Off to KL!! haha, feels like holiday~

But before all these……
Congratulation to Al-Ma’arif and IIUM senior -Kak Hairiah for tying the knot with the Singing Imam of Singapore Abg Sofyan!!! (she’s gorgeous and the wedding look grand in pink!)

The JOURNEY we (me, sue lee n mary) went through for kak hairiah’s wedding!! Tampines has always been a sesat-prone area for me, the jungle of flats there!! we were practically walking in circles. seriously!! complicated seh area!! pusing-pusing, seberang sana seberang sini, block 490 nampak, 497 nampak, 490 nampak, tapi 491 is nowhere to be seen, let alone 491D. We do come across 489M, for God’s sake! rupa-rupanye, kalau jalan terus ajer, dah bole sampai daaa. paham? tak paham kan? kiter pun tak paham area tampines! hulu beb!!

A Sikh talk at muis during lunch. I was grinning my face throughout the talk. the feeling of sitting listening to a ‘lecture’ is so nostalgic. and a talk on religion! i missed learning! don’t care they were things i already know from Dr Kamar’s classes, i still thirst for anything religions. the only thing that made me smile today.

loving linkin park at the mo. got to admit that it’s the band which has truly ‘convert’ me to loving the genre of songs am listening now. teenage crush on chester. they’ve gone emo, but who cares, as long as they and all the other bands keep on making some good songs. and does it matter what songs i listen to??
why the heck am i telling you this??

dyan!! you got to see avenged sevenfold!!! lucky you!!! *sulksulk*

Leave Out All The Rest

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I’m done here

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don’t be afraid
I’ve taken my beating
I’ve shared what I made

I’m strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I’ve never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You’ve learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are