the trip to pahang was alhamdulillah smooth and safe. I had been very nervous about the trip because one thing, we had a driver who was notorious for accidents, and brother PM was not going to be at the meeting when he was the sole pillar of strength for the programme, though he managed to be there at the last minute with his principal, the sight of him entering the meeting room was more than a huge relief!! I thought I could hear most of us heaving a sigh of relief when he entered the room. The meeting went well, the officers there were very much helpful with ideas and all. Hope the programme will be a success. Still, I’m just more than grateful that we all had a smoother journey and return home safe and sound.

The less than two weeks break was very much a refreshing therapy for me, regardless of spending MOST days at home, and feeling sickly with fluctuating body temperatures and deafening night coughings and almost unbreathable blocked nose plus a dwelling rock in my head. A certified couch potato, don’t blame me, I really don’t have the energy to go out, even though I so want to go to compass point and borders@ orchard and windowshop at Bugis or Far East plaza and smell the smell of books at any of the libraries in Singapore. BUT NONE OF THAT during the break. If not for the chalet at Costa Sands overnights with some of the girls, I really wouldn’t be smelling Singapore air at all! I practically drag myself out to the meeting at annahdhah, before going to chalet.

Nonetheless, chalet was a hit!! I could have enjoyed the gathering better if I wasn’t sick and eaten more food!! But the girls do managed to make life worthier with the interrogating kak mizah on her wedding preparations, yes, lovely kak mizah is getting married this september!! We are more excited than she is, I guess. By the way, the chalet thingy was especially for her. First overnight, there were only six of us: K. mizah, K.dewi, Far, Shasha, Suli and me. Six of us were more than enough to rock the world, haha. Still, the more the merrier but some of them couldn’t make it, which was too bad!!! Oh yeah, there was karaoke to just about any songs we can sing and the girls played Twister and there’s food and more food and a movie later at night.

The next day, Far’s family came over, which I personally felt touched and safe that hers came with much food support. I mean, even though we are pass teen age and can take care of ourselves, but a visit from a family brings so much relief. My mother was so approving when I told her Far’s family was there with us. And a few other girls came by for a visit.

I had an encounter on the last night at the chalet, the girls don’t know and I rather like to believe that maybe I had been hallucinating that night because my fever was terribly high that night and the air-con-d room was making my temperature confused. I couldn’t sleep and …yeah, must be me hallucinating and imagining things…but it felt and i heard real. Whatever it is, I enjoyed the chalet very much. Thank you girls, especially to Far and K.dewi for their coordinating of the programme. you girls for Next ASSIIUM excos. ok?? : )

My longest title ever for a blog of mine….Making the Most out of Nothing…Why? Here goes:

1. I am technically alone down here in IIUM, and doing technically everything related to MRC. I was alone, for damn’s sake!!

2. The MRC, had volunteered to collect the recycling papers which was dumped at every block. There were supposed to be around 5 of us to do this garbage job and taddaa!!! I am alone!!! The rest went back!! Even the president who was the eager one, well her case can’t be helped, she got down with a fever at the last minute and went back! Called another girl who was so eager saying that she’ll be back today, Tuesday and we’ll do together, if we’re tired, we can sleep on the bus to Rompin. And It’s almot 6 pm now, our trip to Rompin due tonight at 11.00pm, and WHERE IS SHE????

3. I was going to do this garbage job alone, I was so angry that I thought my strength would just come out of nowhere, and I did! I managed to clear out Block B’s papers. ALONE! I was so happy that I managed to do it. It was a VICTORY! Did it on Sunday starting from 8 pm -11 pm. I sorted out the newspapers from the magazines and used shoes from rags and whatnots…..but victory short lived, the next morning, I went down and saw that some stupid bitches had dumped new sets of garbage on my neatly arranged towers of papers!!! ANd I mean DUMPED! Can’t they see that the place was neat and spick and span, didn’t they have the heart to at least PUT their papers PROPERLY??? I was so heartbroken!! But what can I say? I brought this upon myself??

4. Told the Principal and Manager that I can’t do it. There’s only FU***ng Me alone down here!! And they said, the MRC volunteered to do it. Yes but if there’s only ME with all the hype and eagerness and the rest don’t seem to care, how am I going to do it?? The manager called a few Turkish girls who were due for community service because they were zakat recipients, THEY?? WOuld they brought themselves low to do this kind of ‘volunteering’? Well, sad to say they don’t seem that eager themselves. SO NO HOPE.The papers are HUMONGUOUS and RIDICULOUS to be done ALONE. I admit DEFEAT.

5. Been in and out of the mini library and the Operation Room, thought I could do some decorating there but I can’t, I lost my creative juices at the moment. But found a cool book, A VERY COOL book at the mini library: The International Jew by Henry Ford. It really was rare. The book said itself that it was seemingly nonexistent in US libraries and bookstores for a widely millions -sold book in the 30s. An old book indeed but very contemporary. Have yet to finish reading.

6. At last, I completed the long awaited proposal for Halimah Week!!! Today! My baby looked so fresh and smelled fresh. Hope that it will be approved as soon as possible.

7. Done other things, cleared my rooms, completed a few letters that needed to be done, designed the new MRC letterhead and I broke my specs into two….MY Beloved Blue SPECS!!! It smashed because I slept on it!! And yup, I am now squinting my eyes now to look at the monitor! I have to lean forward to the monitor instead of sitting back and relax. About time too I guess that it broke, time for a new specs. But I LOVE my specs!!!

8. Still alone now, but amongst the business, managed to watch TV. I conquered the TV room HAHAHA, watched The Chronicles of Riddick which was oklah, a cool movie, except for Vin Diesel, don’t like him. And Malcolm in the middle. And Mtv. Found a new song to rave about, Ashley Parker Angel – Let U Go and Yellowcard’s Roughlanding Holly.

9. I MISS HOME! I WANT TO GO BACK AS SOON AS I AM BACK FROM PAHANG! I LOVE YOU RATU I LOVE YOU ROMO I LOVE YOU AL I LOVE YOU SITI I LOVE YOU NURI I LOVE YOU EDID I LOVE YOU NYEK I LOVE YOU NENG.

Miss my family terribly.

On a happier note, just watched Ten Things I hate About You at the tvroom just now and I realized it’s one of the feel-good movies that makes me laugh and truly forget some not so good thoughts and feelings. It’s just so cute!!! so gonna be one of my fave movies~
stiles with her flowing hair and ledger with the shy smiles and that dance to the oldies song, can’t remember the title of the song, rather knew it by the ‘carlsberg ad’ song, haha. wish could be like Kat, stiles’ character and wish could have someone like ledger’s character~

It’s worst because I have no exams at the moment, just counting the days to my last paper, even then, I might not be able to go back as soon as possible because I’ll be going for a meeting for that baktisiswa programme….and I’m just making myself busy reading and doing things for mrc like writing out a proposal for an event, or designing a new letterhead, or clearing out the papers and letters into a proper file, still without minute meetings,and having said that, minute meetings for assiium are so done, but sorry no money to print them all out. : ) I could have done it in the mahallah office, but rather unethical to do it. conscious!!

and I think I have a crisis with myself. Did I do something wrong?? Have I been wrong?? Am I cruel and the villain while everybody else are victims. Have I been a biieetch? My silence is a problem? when all I wanted to do was to just shut up and don’t think about it? It’s those tense people laa. I wish I could just shut these thoughts out. Stop being problematic or just difficult or troublesome. I wish I can just stop. And act like it used to be in the old days. Am I just full of spite and envy? I know we can’t always satisfy others. Is it them or is it me? My blaseness and forgetfulness aren’t helping me much here.

and so this is life. I’m still on the journey of finding myself.

by right, i don’t want to think about it because the very thought of them make me tense!! so i’ll just shut them out and focus on the beautiful rose instead.~

The beautiful rose really did made my day today!! It made me smile! hehe It really is so beautiful and the red red rose really came out nice with the blue background of my friendster site. It is beautiful~ and it also looks nice in mypicjournal because that blog has a black background. So much enchanting and mysterious and full of emotions. It’s just so WOW! I’m raving about a rose~ check it out in mypicjournal.blogspot.com

Just to let out a few things: first and foremost, I’m just wondering, why the he** do I always feel tense whenever some friends are around, but could easily be happy among other friends?? I don’t understand myself lah sometimes!!! why ah? I really do. And I’ll just go quiet as being dead, like I’m not there when these two persons are there, is it because they are the ones doing the talking and seemingly controlling everything and everyone with their voice?? I’m not as loud as them…and now it seems they are intimidating to me. and then I found myself trying to be not among them, well they don’t include me in their secrets. Well, that’s not the matter their secrets were tense issues. I don’t mind not knowing. And they must not think they are the victims, like I’m the villain, because they sometimes do, or is it just my imagination??

I know, I don’t want the two friends to mess with my life, like as though they know everything about me, because they don’t, like almost ruling over me with that loud voice of theirs.

I’m being cruel.