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It’s the small things in life that really make the world a much happier place to live in. For example a simple praise from a lecturer will boost our confidence. Like today in class, my lecturer was reading an explaination and I interrupted him with a question. A simple question but he praised that it was a good one. Mumtaz!! Call me childish, but I like it. And suddenly the world seems nice and things look beautiful. A little confidence fed in and I feel better today!!

And it’s the small things in life that I oberve but…ok, I was reading a certain someone’s profile in friendster, and I can’t help noticing the ‘sound’ of every little message in them and I begin to notice that maybe someone is still hurting, hurting badly from the past, that someone can’t quite forget everything. Like someone might do something. Not something bad…but maybe worst, getting her back in someone’s life. Why worst?? Because that is going to hurt me deeply. Or maybe someone is just hating things at the moment. And another small thing I noticed is the way someone acknowledged his neighbourhood, like maybe he’s now in Singapore, which is kind of possible since he’s just finished his exams and that would hurt me if he’s not telling.

And the simplest question: what should I do?? I don’t know. Should I just keep quiet…or should I ask him whether he’s still hurting…or not send anything until he replies to my message. I don’t know. I wish I have someone who can tell me what to do. And you know what, the best thing might just to let go and not do anything. Or yet, maybe I do go and ask him. The heck with it, it’s not like I’m losing anything. Even if it turns out to be something I won’t like….well, there’s still Adit~

Yeah, good things have heppened in the last few days. For one thing, I went to Midvalley with some good friends and had a good time!! Some of them do bowling while others just chilling out. It’s quite a long time ago since I went to Megamall. I really enjoyed it. I’m willing to forget the small unhappy things that might happened and focus on the sweet memories. Plainly speaking, I am happy!

And then I had a mid term test for Sociology which Alhamdulillah, I managed to answer them. Hoping for a pass now!! And I did pass for my Study of Qur’an which I was surprised at that!! And another suprise~ I got a pass too for my Ethics…and this was much more unexpected since I had that test amongst the business of organizing a programme. Third highest!! And the lecturer announced our names..this is the first time I got really good marks for a test and had my name called for being among the best. Thank Allah!! This will be another booster for me to do better. I guess things are much better this semester and I’m going for flying colours this semester!!

And always….I do not know what is the problem with me nowadays but I just can’t stop thinking about a certain someone and it’s driving me crazy in not a good way…like it’s bad for my nerves and my brains! I do not know why it has to matter if someone replies or doesn’t reply to my emails and why does it has to make me so bothersome and worrisome that this certain someone has a lot of girls as friends…maybe it’s because that this someone used to tell me that someone is afraid to befriend girls??? It bothers me alot!! And I can’t talk about it and I can’t ask someone about it because I’m a nobody!! I really don’t have the right to know, right. I shouldn’t even think this way..it’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to someone. I wish these feelings would just go away!!

And I was reading past emails which I don’t know why I kept and I wish for those times when I don’t know whether someone was online or not but only the fact that someone will always reply to my emails whenever someone was online… I wish I am that innocent and naive as ever…but it’s my sensitivity, I cannot run from myself. I really miss those times when someone would actually call at any time of the day, the chats, the smses, the emails…….but of course, things just changed without any warning. Someone might still be the same, the very person I used to know but maybe just not the same to me. Is there something wrong?? Or am I just being stupid for nothing, paranoid of…what?? That’s the big problem…I don’t know!!

Let’s turn to good things…I’m giving a silent gratitude to Adit…this guy in one of my classes who doesn’t fail to bring a smile to me, especially on mondays when I used to have ‘monday blues’ but now I look forward to Mondays and seeing him first thing in the morning. He’s nice and cute and Smart! And we always wear the same colour clothes, or same shade and it just brightens my day. By the way, his real name is Mansor Ayob but I’m calling him Adit, who cares?? Thank you Adit, for freeing me from some worries of a certain someone. Thank You.

1) Name the Last Four Things U Bought?

a pair of OP sandals, an orange hp pouch, First

magazine, blue pen

2) Name two things you usually drink?:

teh ais!! and milk

3)Last Time You Cried

can’t remember oredi

4)What’s In Your CD Player ?

a burned cd of Peterpan’s songs

5)What’s Under Your Bed ?

luggage bags and books

6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today ?

8am

7)Current Hair?

i don’t wear wigs ; )

8)Current Clothes ?

shirt and pants

9)Current Desktop Picture?

this pc has aishwarya rai for it’s wallpaper

10)Current Worry ?

none

11)Current Hate ?

none

12)Favorite Place To Be?

my home

13)Least Favorite Place???

crowded places

14) If You Could Play An Instrument?

hmmm…i can play the guitar..practicing hard now

15)Favorite Color(s)?

blue and orange

16)How tall Are You?

150++cm

17)Current Favorite Word? Words?

oh my god

18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You

Could Go Back And Talk To?

my late grandmother

19)Favorite Day?

monday for this semester

20)Where Would You Like To Go Right Now?

should be in my room

21)Where Do you want to live when you get

married?

can I discuss this with my future husband? ; )

22)Favorite food?

apa-apa yang sedap ah

23)Color of most clothes you own?

blue

24) Number of pillows you sleep w/?

4

25)What do you wear when you go to sleep?

t-shirt and pants

26)What were you doing 12AM last night:

memorizing for a test

27)How old will you be in 10 yrs:

32, InsyaAllah 😀

28)What do you think you’ll be doing in 10

years?

teaching? married?

29)Do you have braces?

nope

30)Are you paranoid?

smtimes

31)Do you burn or tan?

neither

32)what is the brand of your wallet?

ocean pacific

33)Your alarm clock?

my hp

34)Your hair?

what’s up with it?

35)First real memory of something?

a stage performance during K1

36)First piercing/tattoo?

allergic to those

37)First enemy?

none that I remember

38)good cry?

I cry alot, don’t know which is a good cry~

39)Last library book checked out?

new rules of high school

40)Last person you yelled at?

i havent yelled for quite some time

41)Last beverage drank?

milo

42)Last crush?

this someone in one of my class

43)Last CD/song played?

bintang di syurga – peter pan

44)Last thing you ate?

fried chicken

45)Last annoyance?

i had to think about it so I won’t answer it

46)Last dissapointment?

when a message apeared blank.

47)Last thing written by hand?

i wrote F3.5 on my left palm. serious. that was the

last thing i wrote today

48)Last person talking to?

my friend

49)Last ice cream eaten?

some ice cream my sis bought

@4> 1. 1st skool:

=En-Naeem Pre -school

5. 1st award you received:

=does a book prize counts? That was in K1.

6. 1st hero:

= He-man

7. 1st time you were sent to the principal for

disciplinary actions:

=tak sampai jumpa principal, only disciplinary

teacher…pasal apa…tak ingat ah

8. 1st goal you accomplished:

= be a prefect in Pri.6

9. 1st crush:

= there’s this somewhat cool guy with a cool

name..during sec. years…

11. 1st friend:

= Siti seri sunarti…yeah because we share the

same name – seri

12. 1st kiss:

= sapa ek? mak lah kan….

4. 1st song you sang infront of

many people:

= time primary school, nyanyi lagu national day….

15. 1st musical instrument you learned to play:

= guitar

16. 1st local & foreign concert you

watched:

= one small local gig at a park my brother

performed in.

17. 1st celebrity

you saw in person:

=Gurmit Singh

19. 1st TV show you really liked

=must be some cartoon show

20. 1st book you bought:

= The twins of St.Clare’s!!! I so loved the whole

series of it!!

21. 1st sport you played:

= badminton?

22. 1st sleepover:

= at aili’s house in Lor Ah Soo zaman kecik2

23. 1st terrible fight:

=In pri.1 or 2

26. 1st wedding you attended:

= 1st wedding that I was invited to was this sis’s

wedding.

27. 1st person who greeted you on your

last birthday = Kak miza, mah and qadar

28. 1st friend in friendster:

=hamzah

29. 1st cellphone: =

nokia

30. 1st cellphone ringtone:

= linkin park nya lagu ah….tak ingat yang mana

satu…a place for my head, I think

31. 1st collection:

= guitar keychains

33. 1st rollercoaster ride:

= at some neighbourhood fair

34. 1st ambition:

= teacher

35. 1st job?

= librarian

36. 1st thing u bought w/ ur 1st salary?

= Must be some cd

37. 1st thing u wanna get right now:

= a drink

38. 1st thing u wanna do atm?

= what’s atm??? other than atm card??

@5> 1-WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

** Hougang

2-LATEST ADDICTION?

** Peter pan

3-SONG THAT YOUR LISTENING RIGHT

NOW?

** a peter pan song in my head

4-WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?

** I’m answering these questions ah

5-WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU

WENT OUT TO EAT WITH?

** My sis

6-IF U WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU

BE?

** a toy soldier babe.

7-WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO

ON YOUR HONEYMOON?

** Turkey or Dubai or any place yang sewaktu

dengannya

8-WHATS YOUR RING TONE?

** boulevard of broken dreams – Greenday

9-WHAT DO YOU THINK A TOBLERONE

IS?

** Chocolate

10-WHAT R U WEARING RIGHT NOW?

** baju kurung~ ; )

11-DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

** no, I love my specs

12-WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE

EVER GIVEN TO YOU?

** There’s this one sms, at the last part of it, it

says : “Allah says wait, and gives you the best”

That really affected and helped me alot.

13-DO U OWN A VEHICLE?

** I wish!

14-WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS?

** graduate in the near future

15-FAVOURITE FILM?

** LOTR Trilogy. A walk to remember

16-LAST FILM YOU SAW?

** National Treasure….vcd ah

18-DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

** if I have the bones, I think I’ll like dancing

19-ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK

ANYONE OUT?

** who is this ‘anyone’ ?

24-WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

** guilt

25-WORST SOUND?

** screams

26-WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU DO

WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

** look at the time

27-ROLLER COASTER, SCARY OR

EXCITING?

** exciting

28-HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET

THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU

ANSWER IT?

** never keep count ah

29-ZODIAC SIGN?

** cancer

30-IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF

EMPTY?

** Half-full. =j

31- BEST PhYSICAL FEATURE?

** aurat ah, taknak cakap.

32-MILK WHITE OR CHOCOLATE?

** chocolate

33-DAY OR NIGHT?

** both

34-SUMMER OR WINTER?

** summer

35-CAKE OR PIE?

** cake

36-DIAMONDS OR PEARLS?

** diamonds

37-SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

** both

38-HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE?

** alhamdulillah not yet

39-DO YOU HATE ANYONE?

** none that I remember

40-DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIGHTING?

** yes to fighting spirit

41-WHO DO YOU TURN TO FOR

ADVICE?

** My Ratu (mother)

42-YOU COULD HAVE ONE SKILL IN

LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE?

** is telekinesis a skill or a gift?

43-WHERE ARE YOUR FAVORITE

PLACES TO GO?

** compass point

3. what are ur favourite fruits?

= watermelon, honeydue, orange

4. do u wish to be a pilot someday?

= nope

5. what is the colour of ur pants rite now?

= grey

6. do u have a lot of admirers?

=to quote izhar, “ngga tau?”

7. do u like to have admirers?

= i like

8. is ur comp in ur bedroom?

= no, it’s not my comp

9. is ur hair long or short?

= long, i guess ; )

10. do u like going to the supermarket with ur

mom?

= of course

11. how much is ur allowance for one

month?

= $200

12. how long does it take for u to fix ur hair?

= never check

13. what colour is ur underwear?

= shh..

14. what u had for breakfast this morning?

= biscuits….

15. what u had for dinner last nite?

= kuew teow pattaya

16. do u sleep alone?

= yes

17. who is beside u now?

= some sister

8. what is the last thing u touched?

= myself?? hehe

19. do u like to watch chicks on tv?

= haha yeah this cartoon Cow and Chicken~

21. do u prefer wet parks or dry parks?

= and the difference is…

22. what’s the one thing that u love pressing

on the

keyboard?

= enter?

23. is ur forehead oily?

= taknak jawab ah soalan ni!

24. who’s the last person u kissed?

= my mother two weeks ago agaknya

25. do u like the smell of durians?

= alittle

26.u were royalty?

= yeah, I was the little sister that Arwen never knows..

27. what’s the best thing u’ve done all

week?

= went to megamall with friends and getting pretty good marks for my tests.

28. are ur parents asleep now?

= should be ah

29. Plans you are looking forward to?

= balik sg!!

30. Last thing you will be thinking of today?

= studies of religion subject…

New additionals to blogging~ questionnaires I’ve answered from friendster…Feel like collecting them..

@1>What would you prefer to be called?

> S.E.R.I

Are you bored?

> Nope

How’s your life nowadays?

> fairly well

Out of all your bestfriends, who do you

turn to the

most?

> my journals

How long is the longest conversation you

had on

the phone?

> it’s not how long that matters, it’s the person you’re having the conversation that really matters~

What’s in your mind right now?

> Leonardo diCaprio

What music are you listening to right

now?

> I have this Blackrose’s (band rock lama2) song in my head since morning and I can’t remember the title of that song!! And it’s not Pernantian…

Do you think life’s unfair?

> it is unfair, but you have the right to choose~

What annoys you the most?

> the heat and having to wait hours for a bus…

What do you think about your love life

right now?

> i wish i have

Who’s your favourite person to crap with?

> define crap

Who’s your favourite person to tell your

dreams

with?

> my sisters

Have you been told not to go for your

crush

because of his/her attitude?

> I only have crushes on good guys ; )

Will you survive without love?

> when there was love…and then there is none, i don’t think i’ll survive.

Dogs or cats are better?

> cats

What makes you happy?

> my family’s happiness.

Will it be a problem to you for having a

very big

crush on someone?

> no…how would it be a problem to me??

Do you fall in love with someone easily?

> No

Have you tried smoking/drinking?

> no

Who is your first love?

> what is first love…again??

Do you really really love someone?

> yes..who? I don’t know…

Do you day-dream alot?

> fave past time ; )

Do you love yourself?

> who else is gonna love me as much as I love myself??

I have been looking for icons and avatars since the last hour and I’m enjoying it but I have to stop! There are other days. Check out the cool icons and links I’ve added to my humble blog~

What is up today??? Same old same old. Last night was really a stuffy night even though the fan was on at level 4, and I couldn’t sleep till almost 4am, even then I had to wake up for Subh and only after that can I sleep peacefully till 9am.

Ethics class teaches us about duty to friends and obviously it affected me a little. I don’t know why, maybe because of the things that I faced that involved people who call themselves friends. It’s hard to be good to people when people hurt us and they just don’t realise it. And when I go into my silent mode, people thinks I’m making faces at them. What the..!! The truth is I am truly hurt by the things some people do. And I kept quiet about it.. why?? Because sometimes it seems childish and stupid and like it’s nobody’s fault so why bring it up and make things worse. I don’t know if the problem lies in me. Maybe it is…so I’m going for a soul-searching in what is wrong with me~ It’s always me anyway…other people are always right, it’s always like that.

Like when here I am listening to one person lamenting about their problem with others, and then I kept quiet about it, neither commenting nor meeting with the other party and people think I go shit about them. Or like when going to a teacher’s house which I know, but they didn’t even ask if I wanted to come along…or like going to some place and I thought they call us some clique but they never asked me along..so what is the problem here?? It’s childish isn’t it, thinking this way. It makes me think back of whoever out there who actually appreciate me.

And there is one friend, since at my old school aka since primary one, we’ve been friends (or is it?) and still I don’t know what’s her problem. I’ve been ‘mistreated’ by her a lot of times, and still I didn’t learn.

All I know now there are people who are my real friends, and some who are just people passing by my life. God knows better.

Bintang di Syurga

Masih ku merasa angkuh

Terbang kenanganku jauh

Langit kan menangkapku

Walau kan terjatuh

Dan bila semua tercipta

Hanya untukku merasakan

Semua yang tercipta

Hampa hidup terasa

Lelah tatapku mencari

Arti untukku membagi

Menemani langkahku

Namun tak berarti

Dan bila semua tercipta

Tanpa harus ku merasakan

Cinta yang tersisa

Hampa hidup terasa

Bagai bintang di surga

Dan seluruh warna

Dan kasih yang setia

Dan cahaya nyata

Oh bintang di surga

Berikan cerita

Dan kasih yang setia

Dan cahaya nyata

Back in UIA for good after a one week break. There was Hari Raya Haji last Friday and nothing much really since the whole family ddin’t go out.I mean where to, anyway? Both of my grandparents were faith departed. When they were still here, we used to just visit them and stayed at their house for the whole day. Like morning till afternoon at my mother’s side and the next half of the day till night at my father’s side. And we would have fun because all the cousins would be there too sometimes. Whatever it is, going to grandparents’ houses always seemed fun. Those were the days. So I spent the whole day at home, reading my school books and tending to a headache and pms.

My little sister Nuri was sick and suspected of dengue fever and we are quite worried about it. She’s never been sick before. Hope she’ll get better soon. She got mc for a week already.

And how can I forget!!! My cousin is married last Saturday!! The first in my family for our generation… history…but not such a sweet one for them…it’s all hard work for her and her husband…whatever..all the best for them. Hope they will last forever like our predecessors. I just hope when my time comes, it’ll be a much better event and with a much nicer guy.Not just nicer but the best~

Return here (IIUM) this morning at 5am. Couldn’t really sleep for the whole journey. It was so cold I could feel it in my bones and I was actually shivering halfway through. Immediately when I reached my room, I had to cover myself with my comforter, because the cold’s still there!! My blood’s almost frozen I think!!!

Ok, my fault I didn’t bring any sweater~

As the title stated: Monday blue booster….well there’s this guy in a morning class who is cute and seriously smart…seeing him every monday morning always makes me smile so I’m grateful to him for making me start my day and the week in a nice way~ He is really cute…