three.simple.words

Romantic moments

believe

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

There’s a few things which i’ve believed in:

1. i believe in my ability and capability that This Is the job for me. it’s even two passion in one: religion and education. i believe i can soar and achieve much more in this line of work. that my being here is right.

2. i believe in talking to Him, regardless of my spiritual weightage at any point of my life. (i don’t know if weightage is the right word, it just sounds right ;))

3. i believe in my family who has always believed in me. that we will stay strong and together no matter what happens. that my brothers and sisters will achieve success in their own way and interest. that whichever my parents had done, taught and chosen for me has, all along, directed by Him. for that i can’t ask for more that just my ratu and romo to be here with me.

4. i believe in you. truly.

crossed parallel

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

how can you know when it’s your time? somehow a loss of life affected me much that till this night, i still think about it, and the deceased still pictured quite clearly in mind, despite not having known her enough.

is it because i had been too happy that the news came as a shock…utter suddenness, a reminder that happiness is HIS and can always be taken back.
is it because of the realisation that i couldn’t get to know her as a family.
is it because i keep remembering to the day when she had been the one who handed me his gift to me.
i feel happy waiting for the day but i cant help thinking she wont be there. and why should i be rejoicing?

it hurts to know they are pained by this loss. and me, my family, we are deeply saddened by it.
although life has to move on. and pray Lord will help us all.

but you know what, i can never stop thinking that my most loved family members are not here to see me, see us. they have been gone for so many years but we can never forget them and will always miss them. i still remember those innocent years when i thought they will live for as long as i am but had them taken away. never stop remembering. it’s the only comfort.

and right now it’s crossed emotions running parallel. because it’s all happiness and grief at the same time. it pained me to see and hear him in sadness, but this pain i cannot control.

(and i can’t sleep for thinking about the orientation in a few hours’ time and the load of things to be done…work in non-ender do they?!)
and a meet up with two of my petals is great to relive those memories. thank you babes and i’m so going to get used to being driven back home by qzaimah!! hehe.

please pray everything went well, what’s with the first week of classes and THE day and whatnots.

i.m.y

art folly random

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

definitely a nice feeling to be awaken to a nice sunny day(despite the heat), looking out to the green park and breathe fresh air, and not have to go to work! haha!

some very random thoughts to fill up the space.

  • spent the first half of the day doing bits and pieces of what i’ve always wanted to do since started working at the mosque, and havent had the chance to. the room looks more…well like a girls room …

  • helped to clear the kitchen and ….

  • was thinking of doing more of the gifts deco but ended up…

  • reading The White Tiger (Aravind Adiga). speaking of which, i just realized i tend to enjoy Man Booker Prize-d novels…

  • and i still prefer Yuna to Zee Avi

  • 4 more weekends to go

  • and i’m actually doing the Gifts do-it-yourself way!! and i think it turned out pretty nice with some hot glue and laced ribbons here and there and you have a themed set of Gifts.

  • and then i remembered i have many other things to do work-related but i refuse to do anything…

  • because i’ll be working on the weekends. (right…welcome to working saturdays AND sundays, albeit half day) just like the ‘good’ old days — although i hope this will change come July

and throughout all the chaosness,


i had the opportunity to appreciate art although very much a newbie and knowing pretty much zilch of what’s in the scene…thanks to dear with the heart of gold~

there’s orchestra on Final Fantasy, and since our seat was on the second floor(or was it the third?), we got a good view of the screen where they show scenes from the many Final fantasy episodes and a bird’s eye view of the talented talented musicians.
(i think they should soon have one on Lotr + orchestra!)

first time ever watching the performance of young shaolin martial arts, although very much contemporary.

and tricky Seven Boards of Tricks. i mean seriously tricky. with triangle and square boards to make whatnots..although we got pretty sleepy since some of the songs were in chinese and we can’t for the heck of it understood what it all meant.

i know there are meanings behind every moves and dances but i couldn’t figure it out, just like the cullberg ballet..although there’s some sort of a storyline which i could follow but in all i can appreciate just how much talent and the energy and time put in to come up with a 100 minutes performance. all those passion they put in. pretty amazing. never had the chance to view performances before but it’s a ‘new breath of air’ to be able to catch and see what’s the hype is all about. have always wanted to experience them and you have given me that chance. thank you.

officially

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

the open house of the new mosque in the block marks its functioning for the public officially….three very challenging days has gone and i think it went well….i cannot be critical since everybody, and i mean everybody worked so hard to make it went succesfully. i am so glad it’s done with. the preparations towards the event, my heart body and soul to decorate my classes. the nervousness and whatnots. i’m just real glad and HUGELY relieved that my mock class- cum colouring and drawing competition went so well!!! and my feet is hurting doubly bad!

and since the mosque is all about family as a niche “loving and affectionate mosque”, i realised my family members pretty much involved themselves these few days…apart from me as the staff, my mother is also a member of the women’s wing of the mosque, so we’ve practically spent the whole week at the mosque, mother helped to decorate class, nuri came to help around last friday, and then father bought lunches and got stuffs for us…my brothers for helping to move the books we bought for the Reading Room, and of course, my dear for lending us a hand sending the books to the mosque, accompanying me to collect mcys booklets and…more books.
what would i do without my family~~

so ok… let’s stop here, my eyes really can’t take it anymore….so…glad….it…went…well…zzzzzz

full force

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

super duper busy since i step in full force at mawaddah. and it’s only been a week!!! and time seems to fly double fast rate. straight away when i come in at 8.30, there’s no time to ‘warm-up’ get to gear 2 and do emails, pick up calls, making decisions, and trying to decorate two classrooms as best i can, with the help of dear mother and my little sister nuri who tagged along last friday to help out. and somehow found ourselves staying a bit longer till 8pm~

last friday, i had to present in front of a whole auditorium and share a little bit with the volunteers what alive is all about…with a few last minute slides which alhamdulillah turned out pretty nice and straight to the point presentation. since it’s also more of like a briefing to the volunteers so they know that we’re conducting aLive as the madrasah. mother said it was a good presentation. thankfully it was an informal kind of setting since i mixed english and malay up there on stage! and i believe i spoke too fast!

and next week is going to be another looonngg week! but in any ways: everyone of you are invited to the family buzz at mawaddah this friday – saturday!

on to the next thing, somehow word got round among the aunts at the mosque that i’m…hmm…taken ;)because apparently some aunts were ‘inquiring’ about me and mother had to be clear about my ‘status’ with them. at the same time, it turns out everyone’s excited for my birthday month…and i thought it’s going to be a family affair!!
on that note: i don’t know where to start and ideas all around that i need to focus, haha! these are like big things for me, the mosque, the family affair and the next year in line~

the weekend has been a short escape for me, watching Wolverine which is awesomeness, and glad that my brothers and sisters enjoyed the movie and the company as much i did.;) i mean, it’s X-men!! who wouldn’t enjoy it? i think there’s more action to this than the Last Stand. and i’ve always liked stories where they tell you how things started and me being a non-comic reader, i appreciate the storyline. and first time truly watching star trek with real interest and enjoyment, even though there’s some parts i don’t understand in the movie. i told you i’ve seen more movies within these few months than i ever did in my 25 years of living.

mono: God has always directed my decisions and meeting you must have been part of the deal…

cloud 8 and a half ~

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

there are some things which i can freely tell the world but there are also some others which i just can’t bring myself to type it out here. no matter how good a news is. maybe because i tend to take these special things as really precious that only the closest would know. or that if i tell the whole world about it, it’ll lose its ‘preciousness’…but that’s just my thinking anyway.

tomorrow marks the day..my first day at the new mosque. watch Detik @Suria sometime next week 😉 they’re going to talk about the mosque….full force at the mosque starting tomorrow and i mean it. i’m imagining i might have to work overtime even to settle the things there. there’s humonguous amount of work to be done before it’s opening day, say, in 11 more days! please pray for me peeps and if you guys have the time…come down to the mosque…i’ll be there~ 🙂

and i think i’ve been to too many places in these few months than i’d had in the years i’ve been alive…having the opportunity to look at the ‘world’…ok, ok, it’s just Singapore, from many different angles…i’ve appreciated the sky and the trees, even buildings! so much for a small island~ although, if it’s me, i appreciate the company more 😉

and today marks the day…of which…i’ve only heard so much but now i’m going through it myself. happy faces and dear feelings..can’t believe its really happening but it’s true. and ur true and i’m true.

orchids

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

hehe, tell me i’m into flowers nowadays??!! but believe me, orchids ARE amazingly beautiful and my omnia proved to be useful in times of need. it took almost perfect pictures!!(to me laa)

anyway, if i’m going to be writing anything here, i’m telling you it’s going to be same old same old because i’ll be telling you that work has taken its toll and i’m going from one mosque to another (again!!) and for this whole week alone, i’ve been to and fro one mosque to another and rushing for meetings. as the time comes near, it’s getting more and more demanding! and shall i put this in…exciting!! hehe. and part of the job is buying books!! it’s like a dream come true when i can just pick out books, to my liking, and not having to pay for it, the legal way! haha!

may is going to be a blast~

although i’m thinking bearing a position does not mean we could raise voices to subs who are older, even if they’re only a support officer. i think they deserve more respect. i’ve observed and i’ve learnt. having worked at places, sometimes i feel my being quiet is a given. as long as the job is done la kan. speakig of which…i myself need to be more decisive and i guess the only way to be that is to believe in my choices and decisions. i’ve always been a person who likes negotiation and listen more, but i guess now is the time to be more specific with what i want and execute them effectively, even if it means making a mistake. and i’ve mentioned before…a mistake is a lesson learnt. 😉 although when you’re handling education, you really can’t afford to make mistakes.

amidst everything, i want to talk to God.

sunflowers

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

honestly, i’m a lucky happy girl to be feeling this way. having someone who really cares about me is, well, rather new to me. i never realise it can make your world go almost fantasy-like. tapi seri, berpijak di bumi nyata :))

HAPPY

anyway people, i really can’t wait to move in to the new mosque!! haha, went there yesterday and i’ve actually aimed the workspace that i’m going to sit in!!
the thing is, the whole of this month, i’ll be like going from one mosque to the other. which is, *sigh* just like last year, where i’ll be rushing from one place to another for discussions and meetings. i thought i’ve had it nehh. but patience seri, it’ll be like for two more months, and your VERY OWN WORKSPACE!! :))

although please pray that i’ll do my work right.

eh, i didn’t tell you about the talk i went like last week! was it last week? anyway, it was a talk by Abu yahya on early christianity and islam, looking at its similarities and differences. it really had been such a long time since i’ve been in a lecture and one which felt so familiar with me. terms and names which i’ve learnt before repeated and new knowledge added. it’s definitely enriching. going to put up some proper reflection on that soon, insya Allah.
makes me want to be docent @ hC more often. it’s passion i think, it’s not just doing it for the sake of doing or da’wah thing. sometimes there doesn’t have to be a reason to want to do something like, having a manicure or going to the zoo, or volunteering or simply doing your job.

although sometimes having a reason might justify things but really, it tires the brain la. can i just do it because i want to do it, i have the interest to pursue in it. sometimes, i can’t think of an answer when people starts asking me like why do you do it? kenape eh? alamak, because i want to la!

orait, wouldn’t want to make my blog a place for craps, haha. i’m just blabbering man!

i love it that you rush to see me (although, only we know) i love it that you worry about me and, i love the sunflowers of course. life is brighter. and i hope this will be as strong and persevere as can be. hmmm, well, i’ve been through treetops and an island for you. 😉

report strength

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

‘reporting strength’ to my blog:

1. as you have noticed, i’ve changed the layout of the blog!! but it depends how long this layout remains and maybe i’ll revert back to the previous skin. however, it does look clean and organized, and still segoe script for the font!
the changes this beloved blog has gone through…from grunge to emo fantasy to emo love to grey to blue background to white and now this. but my fave has to be the emo love with that cute couple pic. and the previous one. you guys’ vote would help though~

2. after much contemplating and calculating, i got for myself a new handphone, or rather, a PDA (as i’ve been told). and presents….


it’s a beauty laa…so sleek and bronze. although it’s going to take some time to get used to the touchy screen, to the stylus even, to the interface and its functions, since i’ve been pretty much a normal sony ericsson phone user. 😉

3. with all these changes happening to me, like a particular haircut as well ;), i’m looking forward to better days! haha. honestly, i need to build up the inner me to face the new challenges and not disappoint myself, much less other people who have such confidence and trust in me. this is not the time for me to be thinking that i might not be the right person to do the job, because there is no turning back, truly. and i do not regret what i’ve chosen to do. i need to assert myself that I AM the person for the job. i can do this.

there’s just so many things to do and learn and RE-learn! haha:))
_________________________________________________________________

mono: i never knew it hurt so much until it was mentioned. maybe i asked for it because i made that question. but the answer was unexpected. i don’t understand why it hurt since it’s only a past. and it’s not like it had never been spoken before. but somehow it hurt more last night. i’m still feeling that small crushing feeling in my heart but i’m not going to let it rule la ok. it’s now that matters. and a future which is still vague, i think i have the pieces of a puzzle, but i don’t know whether it fits. don’t break my heart.