under.pressure

Work what else

survived january

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Came out of January alive.

Thank goodness. all the rush heh. and January really goes very very fast. its February already and I finally am able to breathe for a while.

It is just getting interesting though. I have set my mind on studying this year and I have a few courses in mind to go already. excited much! already I am now going through this mosque officers development course for three months till March.

I had the opportunity to meet the two local leaders, for whom I have great respect towards to, in a sharing session and I find the courage to ask for their advice to face these challenges. and I was glad I did. their message was quite simple but at that point of time, it really touched the mind and heart. Every hard work that we do has its sole purpose of gaining the redha from Allah swt. Matlamat kita hanya kerana Allah. And after every hard work, we must remember and believe, tawakkal ‘alAllah, that at the end of the day, it is truly Allah alone who can give hidayah. Believe in Him and He will guide us. (Al-Baqarah: 282)

We always forget. We take our work and responsibilities, no doubt, with much dedication…and that, in my line, we felt we are not doing enough, we are not teaching enough, and we are not educating the parents enough. maybe we did our best, already gave our best, but at the end of it all, truly, it is Allah who will put in Nur and Hidayah to the people that we are trying to teach. I have wronged myself, and I have wronged Him. I always felt I was a failure for not doing enough, well, I still feel that way, but more enlightened and relieved in a sense that I can still continue do so much more. But I must tawakkal and leave it to Allah swt to do what He wills. Truly guidance and Hidayah comes from Him and Him only. Subhanallah. You know its the simplest things that needs reminding.

We are so bogged down with paperwork we forget the very basic things of our purpose of life. It is all because of Him. This job is not easy. But I pray and pray that Allah forgives me for my weaknesses and wrongs. Forgive me if I am unable to do my best. because I will be accountable for what I did today. I can still move on, I will. until a day comes that I think I had enough. that Allah has destined me to do only so much, I will back down. because I really do not want to be, when at the judgement day, be the person they dragged along to meet His Wrath, I cannot be, Ya Allah. I seek Your forgiveness and Your guidance.

Looking at the two leaders, I am brought down to reality. we are not doing this because we want to, because we have to. all the money does not mean anything, barely a comfort in this world. but there is that end of the road we have yet to go. the real end. no one can barely save one self. except Him.

Forgive me Lord.

I strive to do all I can. Allah will guide me through.

inspired

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there’s a few things I am suddenly inspired to do.

one is to finally go pro with wordpress and probably do something useful out of blogging. I have so many interests and I feel like apart from blogging out of my own interest, I can probably gain by having people gain from it.

another is the sudden inspiration to do a reading project or a movement, or get involved with an organization which has reading as its mission. I found two actually online and I have bookmarked them to learn more about them. I am also thinking what I can do with the mosque as the platform.

and the education unit has to do more than just teaching. that’s for sure. and I must make time and not be tied down by mere paperwork. there must be something we can do. but that’s about work. plenty of time to think and plan properly. I feel like we can do so much more at the mosque. I must be confident of carrying them out. Lord help me.

the trainer the participant

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how’ s the week so far? for the record it was not smooth sailing but surprisingly felt a bit more fulfilling. the best part is to be able to give some thought to some pending items. that was really satisfying. i followed as much as possible the blocks of time which i had planned out. i wasnt strictly on it and i have to be conscious and flexible enough to make some adjustments. but for the most part, following that life table helps. a lot.

it had been a tiring two and a half days of teens solat camp. well, generally all of us in the education unit was busy. three of my teachers had to do some teacher training, me and a few of us doing the teens camp pretty much fast pace although its the holidays. but i guess it will all be worth it. and amidst the preparation for the camp, i managed to do those pending things, that was the surprising part. although i had to admit, most of the preparation for the camp were done by my teachers. and they did the facilitation and i come in to take one or two slots and give them the support they needed.  alhamdulillah it went well and i am very happy to see smiling faces at the end of the camp and some determined faces to do better and improve on their prayers.  it was a refreshing part for me too, in the knowledge sense and so many reminders to myself personally. subhanallah. all tiredness just disappeared at the end of the camp. i pray all the students who came and participated very well in this camp learnt something. Oh Allah, please guide these children. they need Your love and guidance to lead their busy life. oh Allah, please help them. help me too. You are the best Guider, the Most Merciful, Most gracious, guide us all to the straight path. amiin.

quite emotional actually going through this camp. i am as good a participant as well as a trainer. me and my teachers, we learnt from each other which is so valuable.

telling myself to keep Moving On works well with this mind also. ok one more week. let’s do better!

seri the seamstress

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and so i did it! i signed up for the sewing class!! burnt a hole in my pocket a bit but i guess its worth it. i am so excited to start class next friday.  and my goal is to finish class by May perhaps and who knows i might just make my own raya dress!! weee i am so so excited!

and life seems a bit more…well, life! and heh, the name kinda rhymes, seri the seamstress..

january had been fun so far and already its february, it really is going fast nowadays. i was just discussing with my teachers yesterday that out of sudden we have so many things to achieve and do already. no more dilly dallying. and so have decided to have a meeting with teachers every thursday so we can be updated every week on our pending items. time is really precious.

i am glad i do no teaching this year…which i really hope this will stay as it is for the rest of the year!

by right i have many things to say. but to keep it short: productive muslim series in singapore was great. the guy was really awesome and inspiring. what do i know, the website i had been following, useful posters i had been using for classes, and the person behind it was here!! and having a real discussion with him and his wife. and i was even more humbled when during one of his talks with the youth, he asked for my opinion of how he as the speaker was doing. my goodness. brother, you were doing just great. its our students who are not responding. but really, im touched that he thinks my opinion matters. alhamdulillah. hope productive muslim will continue to be successful and be a great  speaker and motivator for the muslim youth.  awesome and humble guy. he should come down again and give more talks.

and i settled all my pme (performance management evaluation) with the teachers and the youth officer. and this time around i had been better in delivering it and more confident. i was a bit soft previous years and doesnt really know how to conduct an evaluation, but i think i improved a bit and it was so much better to actually be discussing it. things are more clearer and the teachers are also clearer with the expectations and they understand better why a rating was given as such.

i was invited to an fgd one of the days with the colleagues from ace centres and that was another discussion which all of us were really honest and really let out our opinion and grievances of the system. our stand was especially the recognition for our teachers in terms of salary and training. enough of paying them degree holders pittance. they must be recognised as all those recognition that even maids and cleaners are getting.  me being where i am, i really dont care how much they are paying me because really it doesnt help at all, but i care for the teachers and what they are getting is just ridiculous. its not ten years ago when you can live with that kind of pay.

sorry, this is supposed to be a light happy post. haha. but really it has been all discussions for me this week.

must be this three 0 thing.

on the playlist.. Mojo. this band might just revive my interest to msian bands again.

oktoberfest

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Who would have thought? It seems just like yesterday i blogged and lamented about the coming days of october. And surprise surprise, the month has passed by without me really realising the days are gone. And hello november!

I never meant to make it as though im updating this space on a monthly basis, for one thing, life has been just work work and more (boring) work. And yes october is not much difference. However, i can say, it had been an exciting month.

I have been madly busy due to the registration period. With having to recheck every single frustrating name because there could either be double entries of the same name or the student wasnt listed at all. And there are about 800 names i have to look through! And now i am in the process of transferring all these details into the school system, another tedious tedious job. Have i told you my eyesight is getting worst with all these staring games im having with my pc at work? I have resorted to reading books because i think my eyesights is going to scream at me if i have to keep on looking at screens. But wordpress on the ipad…there isnt any other way is it? And i cant use my specs for too long while looking at the screens because i will get this splitting headaches. I have now increase the view on word docs to about 200%. Really, work hazard betullah.

But anyway, the battle for registrations is not done yet, i had to push aside other pending works to give a bit of focus on edufest. Its a love hate relationship la this one. I dont look forward to it but i enjoyed the meetings at other mosques because the journey to these places allow me to either think or read a book. I hate that i have to sacrifice time and energy because my work here at my own mosque is demanding at its peak, but i fully realise the reason for having this programme. It took a lot out of me. Tiring nonetheless but trying to give our best. I guess the timing for the programme is not suitable, moreover the people taking up this task are administrators and heads of education unit. It is a period where we are busy with logbooks, graduations, parent teachers meeting, tests ongoing, fieldtrips and supplementaries and yes, the most hectic process, registration. And this year, it was back to back with eiduladha. And mosques are busy busy busy with the preparations.

It came and passed. Not exactly how we imagined it, but the battle was faced together and friendships were created, hardships and exhaustion and frustration was handled together. I guess that matters a lot more.

Now to share about korban, another challenging period for mosques. We had to be audited, and my mosque combined with another in the cluster. It was bittersweet because less work and preparation for my mosque, but it felt so much quiet without the hustle and bustle of korban. It will never be the same doing korban at another mosque. Different ways of doing things. But i am proud that our volunteers worked so hard at the other giving time and energy as much as doing at our place. Everyone worked so hard and i meant everyone. It was more pressurising knowing this year’s korban will determine whether the animals will be imported from australia.

But i believe, australian laws are not the determining factor of whether we will be able to carry out korban next year. Korban is a work of ibadah and no matter what happens, the world is Allah’s, not australian, not singapore not arab owned. Allah ordered this ibadah and He will make sure His servants are able to do it. This world is abundant with His rezeki. Who are the australians to say whether we can or cannot do korban? Ini hukum Allah. Syiar Islam. It will never die. And i know we will work hard for it. Seeing my chairman day in day out working to make sure we get to do korban, you have to admire his way of work. Really. It was not easy. Definitely an eye opener and a wake up call for most, but i cant help but say that some country “perangai y.a.h.u.d.i”, i know its harsh but sesuatu ibadah yang senang dijadikan sukar, dan merendahkan agama Islam. Tak dinafikan orang Islam pun ada salah dan silapnya. These are all learning experience for the Muslims.

What saddens me though, was the ‘participants’ of korban. They bought, yes, with hard earned money i must say. But expecting things to move at the flick of a finger. No sense of patience or good will at all! Im not generalising because there are people who are very patient. But majority of the people who came acted as though we are stupid. It irritated me that they came with this all and mighty air and shouting swearing at us because minor issues. And that here we are working so hard to bl£€><5 serve them had to be the calming factor? I mean really, you are coming here to do korban for God's sake but you cant even show an atom of patience. Nabi ibrahim disuruh korbankan anaknya tapi masih mampu bersabar dengan semaha sabar, kita yang baru nak korban seekor kambing gurun yang kecil, perangai melebihi bisikan syaitan.

There was this man who made a big issue because of a number and even sweared at us with bad words, at a mosque mind you. And swearing to the ladies nonetheless, hitting the table in front of everyone. Just because of a stupid number? My hands were shaking with anger at this stupid man and luckily the head of korban operations of the mosque came up and handled him. Because if no one came i would have given him a piece of my mind and stuttered more bad words at him than i should. I still remember that man's face and may Allah forgives him. Me? I do not know him but i can never forgive what he said and did. Because all of us are working hard here and he had no right to be angry at us. No right at all. Im revengeful like that. Nak buat korban tapi hati masih jauh dan tidak memahami erti korban. Baru korban masa sikit dah merungut macam salah kita tiada esoknya. Nanti di akhirat kena tunggu lagi lama untuk dihitung amalan, cubalah merungut nanti! Wajah satu2 yang datang nak buat korban, tak ada satu pun yang senyum. Tak tahulah kalau ada yang ucapkan terima kasih pada ustaz2 yang bertukar menjadi penyembelih, anak2 muda yang jadi pengembala kambing untuk sehari, sukarelawan yang bekerja satu hari tanpa bayaran, sampai ada juga yang mengungkit bila kita simpankan sedikit daging untuk sukarelawan. Kita yang satu hari macam tak sempat nak duduk masih lagi menghulurkan senyuman dan ucapan terima kasih pada jemaah.

Seriously i dont know what has become of us people. Nanti yang menjatuhkan syiar ini bukan masjid2, jangan salahkan masjid2 sebab mereka dah cuba sedaya upaya untuk terus jalankan korban, kita sebagai umat ni, masyarakat Islam, langsung tak ada perasaan kasih antara satu sama lain! Tidak ada sifat menghargai usaha satu sama lain.

Just the other day someone posted in fb-the deadly viral space, about the monthly contribution they made to a certain organization and not happy about it because he was denied assistance due to his race. Hello, pernah dengar perkataan sedeqah tak? Its just a $3-$5 contribution per month, despite the confusing policy of the organization, which i agree has to be clarified by the organization, but i think, it is a chance for sadaqah. Bersihkan niat tukarkan contribution tu into a niat of sedaqah. And the stupid thing about fb is that all these people started to “Like” and posted some comments and mengapikan lagi the actually small matter which this person is trying to bring up. And everyone started to act smart and think they know better than the other. Jangan berkira sangat boleh? Makes me wonder whether the monthly ciput salary im receiving is out of the angers of people such as him. Kalau ramai lagi org mcm ni, takpelah, saya tak bergaji pun tak apa dari makan duit org2 yang tak ikhlas. takut tahu tak! and people always think kita yang kerja di masjid ni mcm kuli tau. tak ada hormat langsung. But insya Allah, i know there are many more who donated out of pure heart. May Allah bless these kind and generous people. Cuba belajar dari sejarah, apa jadi dalam perang uhud? Semua mula mengungkit dan kekalahan berlaku, pada zaman Nabi tu. Nabi Muhammad s.a.w masih hidup lagi tu.

Ok i better stop because im getting really agitated just typing this out. And i will go on and on and start to bring up all kinds of silly stories and experience. I better stop.

It really saddens me. May Allah give us all the strength and patience, patience, patience and make us ikhlas in our daily job. Please Allah. Forgive us for trying too hard and still not doing much. So help us Lord.

There you go. My oktoberfest which have nothing to do with art or drinking.

Oh speaking of which. After so many years loving iced lemon tea, i realised that its this love which is giving me my terrible almost eczema attacks on my legs. Yes, i have did self research on my….yes, self…when i stop drinking sweet drinks and consume clear plain water, i was free of itchiness. But when i start drinking it back, my itch attack came back. I only realised this during the recent fasting month. And tried to confirm it again after that. And now, its true. I can drink iced lemon tea, but only once in awhile, not everyday.

Oklah, blogging diarrhea already.

Good night and till the next…month? 😉

that greenday song

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Yeah, wake me up when september ends?! It has become such a popular statement that it was getting frustrating when almost everyone i know put that up as their status updates. For one thing i did not want september to end! Literally in the reality.

Because my october is such a chaos! Of course there is nothing i can do about it aye. Metaphorically im running throughout october! And no stopping till end of november. Time flies so fast.

One thing after another starts from the registration period. And now speeding through for the edufest, which, why was i in that in the first place? But going through the motion all the same with all those freaking changes happening all the time. We all did our best and now is to pray and hope it all goes well. Because really, we all went through so many sacrifices. It was not part of our jobscope meaning these are actually extra hours put on and some hours had to be taken away from our daily responsibilities, it is no doubt voluntary at some costs. While i enjoy the experience and the challenges, going to different mosques for the meetings, it is taking some toll on me, and perhaps the rest of the committees too. But all the same, i pray everything goes well and yes the weather to be on our side.

And so this month is also korban month. So hello me, the awkward post for an awkward mosque event (head of edu = coordinator of korban) no where near my line of work. Haha. But it is what it is as long as there is no other officer who can do a good job as me 😉

The bittersweet news for this year’s korban is only 16 mosques was audited and allowed to do korban. My mosque wasnt one of them so we got to ‘rest’ a bit this year! Not totally for me because we have to send a bit of help to another neighbouring mosque. Technically im still working for this korban but a whole load taken off because the other mosque will be doing the major work.

And simultaneously between all these is the registration matters i have to settle. And it frustrates me that some teachers still made mistakes even though handling certain levels for the current students, like double entries in two classes, heck, even in the same class u will see two same names! I cannot stand this kind of work lah. I have to double check every single names now, when i have told them tonnes of times to be careful and dilligent about these! There’s about 800 names i have to go through. And they are taking a tad too long to settle all those unreturned forms and the loss of forms and part timers not doing exactly what we asked them to do and what nots!

the next person who’s going to say my job is just sitting around in front of the pc…damn right i am doing just that! So dont compare my job with yours. Just because you move around doing things doesnt make your job any harder than mine.

And sorry to say the office is becoming a place of ‘my job is more difficult than yours’ everyone trying to ‘proof’ he or she is doing more than the rest? What do you guys think ive been doing all this while? Play games?! And while most of you are having a nice family time at home on weekends, i face battles on them days so you dont see what happens around here. You dont see the kind of students i have to deal with, heck, the kind of teachers i have to deal with! But that’s another story for another day.

Breathe in breathe out. October november please be kind and may Allah grant me health for these two months for i really cannot be sick in these hectic times.

I guess i have to tuck in now. My off day tmrw but i’ll be going back to work for a meeting supposedly for the parttimers but i dont know who’s coming and who’s not and it frustrates me because we MADE time for them. Im having a huge headache at the back of my mind and hopes it goes away in the morning.

dugaan duniawi

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this month doesnt seem to be my month, tech-wise.

i found out my hard disk, in which, i had thousands of docs saved inside there, songs, pictures and charmed series was broken somewhere inside the hardware. my husband tried so many things but was unable to revive it. thus, i had to go for professional help to recover my documents.

and today, of all days, after all these times, my precious iphone had to crack on me.
and it was utter carelessness because i was holding so many things, i was trying to dig inside my bag for the stupid ezlink card. and my iphone slipped off my hand. ultra shocked when it cracked, in malay, retak seribu! and the only thing that is holding it together is the screen protector.

but i realised, i have been a bit clumsier these days, i almost tripped myself while going down the stairs at mrt station, i always tripped over this wiring thingy at the office, and my colleague noticed i had a red bloodshot in my right eye, which i cant remember how i got it or what caused it. and forgetting where i put my specs, despite having three pairs of them.

brain exhaustion or what?
on the bright side, i am looking forward to a short trip to phuket with dear for our 2nd anniversary!

of course, this month has been so good, how can it not be? it’s my wedding month! 🙂

and then there’s the royal couple visit, the uss visit with  my teachers. it’s been good.

alhamdulillah. 🙂

an april end

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a pretty good end for april.
its also nice to have a week without a working saturday and without having to think much on lessons and trying to expect the unexpected. it is very exhausting every week to always be on your toes and anxious of what might happened next. and indeed it had been a very tumultuous month. same old same old.

I am just truly relieved that the maulid event went well although quite a humble celebration but i think we did well and surprisingly more organized especially with the meal together after the event and the free ice creams we get to give away. and i am proud of the teens students who did a qasidah and ever so ready to help out with giving away ice creams and assisting our volunteers to serve the food. really proud.

and of course, the soft launching of the reading room. all the tasks to be done seem stuck in the head just screaming to be materialised throughout the month managed to be completed and the books purchased and the room decorated a bit more. i have to say i wouldnt have done it without the help of my project officer who did a lot. he did the mini exhibits and doing whatever it is i asked him to do diligently. but now that it’s 90% person done, more importantly is to ensure people utilize the room, but that’s another day to think about.

i particularly love how april ends. with my husband’s birthday, and brother’s birthday. yes they are two days apart. and sumptuous delicious meals for dinner at bedok on saturday with my family and lunch on sunday at sakura, a sweaty but nice walk at fort canning with the family and an impromptu visit to the battlebox.

a selfmade card for him, blue roses and nice shirts for him. what im happy most is i managed to get the right size shirts for him! and he loved them. knowing him, it can be quite difficult to get something he will really like when size and material is concerned. we get to have late lunch at east coast for his favourite satay and an hour of cycling before catching the sunset. it was a lovely friday.

and yes, a minor milestone for me is, i managed to open up an Islamic bank account! i had been wanting to open up a savings account separate from my everyday use and i hope with this effort, i will be more disciplined in saving up and be more prudent with my spendings. and maybe in the next five years, able to perform zakat some day, and even hajj or umrah, and oh well, just the nice feeling of getting to save up.

grateful and happy with what i had and did. hopefully more better days coming soon.
a decision still awaits.

dynamic view of my life

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oh well.. blogger has a new look. and i’m trying this dynamic view templates. i like the fact that it has different styles of columns and arrangements of the blogposts but i cant seem to change the background colour. let’s stick to this until i figured it out.

i am at home on time off since my sunday was burnt out with work back at the mosque. but coming back home, i wanted to settle some research work whose dateline is really, deadline. and i think i need to focus on this once and for all because otherwise it will be like this cloud behind my mind screaming at me to complete it. so at home, had lunch, on the tv but i couldnt concentrate on it, and my mind already reeling with this research work.

but taking a break from all this thinking and blogger has taken my interest for the past hour. haha.

so what else can i tell you besides work? on which i have a battle within myself in trying to figure out the purpose of why i do the things i do and whether i am being fair to my family, myself, to the community even? but as always, i need to be the strong entity? when things felt like falling apart and going wrong at work? there is really too many things needed to be done.

i tried scheduling my cluster of work in a day, like an hour lesson planning, another hour on becoming a loanshark, another hour as a librarian, another hour as a planner, another hour as a newsletter editor another hour as sports project event, sometimes as a youth worker but thank LORD the new youth officer is much much more reliable with the help of a young project officer. tell me what else can i do within the span of 8 hours?! i tried that and well, it did help in compartmentalising my mind, but it doesnt help me finish my work well. Lord, just help me with all the energy it need to do my work.

my workspace…i got it arranged and cleared up one day, it goes up piling the very next day.

ok ok. enough.

on to MY LIFE…

Ella concert was great, Cranberries was awesome. Hunger games left me crying for most part and in fear, praying that the real world does not end up like the world in the story.  Battleship was engaging until they had to get a museum ship which was 70 years old to save the world after the high tech modern battleships was destroyed by humanlike aliens. haha.

but this is not just what is happening in my life.

and would you believe me if i tell you i am trying to diet? yes, believe it. it is about my weight and about my health hehe. but im loving it. was going to try something called BioSlim, but it takes so much work with all kinds of drinks i have to drink. i ended up not following it. so how is my diet routine? hehe, actually its the Xbox Kinect exercise and dance central game!! that’s the only thing that makes me sweat apart from the housework i do on fridays! but it means i really have to find time to do it. some Mila seeds every morning, vitamin C and supplementary tablets and plenty of clear pure water everyday.

so it comes to this, i realise, it really is about time and just do whatever i want to do (nothing related to work) with whatever time i have. it actually gives me the satisfaction and oh yea, some sense of sanity or otherwise i will become insane because of work. really, i cannot let work rule me, right. it gives me a mental block to everything else i enjoy doing.  i am grateful of this opportunity to serve and make myself useful. but i believe i am useful somewhere else too, like at home and being a wife.

although right now, i am feeling sad, because some sundays i am away at work, heck weekends away at work but my heart is screaming to be with my husband. i know he is being very patient and supportive in a sense that he insisted to send me everytime i go to work weekends, bought/made me breakfast, i know ultimately me at home is what he loves most.

so why is it hard to make a decision?

a week away

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its that time of the year when i would feel more stressed than ever. i really am. abang is already sleeping soundly but i cant bring myself to sleep despite feeling exhausted. my mind has this buzzing train passing through which doesnt seem to stop. i was watching lara croft on channel 5 with the hope for r and r but her ultra confidence is stabbing me because at this point i dont seem to have one.

i was browsing through facebook and saw acquaintances’ pics of their holidays and that made me happy for a short while coz it reminded me of our nz amazing trip and then stumbled upon some facebook pages of people’s online ’boutique’ with their shawls, and blouses, and long dresses, maxi dresses and whatnots but i dont even have the excitement of looking through them because even with an extra month’s pay, i suddenly lost the mood to spend it.

and i was hungry but i dont feel like eating.

that’s how bad and low i’m feeling at this point. although i know i should be counting my blessings now.

i’m stuck with doing a task which i honestly dont have the time to do, although i would rather do it than handling some of the stuffs i’m supposed to do at work.

i have uniforms to worry about. i have teachers to worry about because i dont have enough up till now. and i was dropped an unfortunate news that the transport vendor wouldnt take up students on weekdays and few parents called asking about it. and one even go all the way wanting us to refund everything because of this transport issue. parents jangan melenting boleh tak??!! im feeling shitty already without you having to add up to the mess. i cant please everyone for God’s sake. i really dont understand parents nowadays. always expecting things to go their way and when its not they go all hurricane.

and for the umpteenth record, i might as well work without a ydo. like seriously. ive been covering for the ydo, i keep reminding and asking the ydo to do tonnes of things not done and the youth seem to be able to fend for themselves for that matter.

i’ve had big dreams and its not achieveable with ydo acting like this, and well, teachers need their holidays. but i think ive been waaayy too good.

and oh yes, why have i been seeing my students so called declaring love in their fb statuses? have they learnt nothing???!! next year its all going to be old fashioned. i’m telling you kids you’re going to get it from me!! before someone pulls me away and say ‘it’s all just a phase, we have to understand them bla bla bla’.

one week away to strategise.

i’ve cut my hair short, i could very well go bald soon.

but Lord, i’m grateful to You for giving me a job, at a place that i can practice my religion without boundaries and i love the fact that it’s about education. but i feel my strength is draining low by the day and i need to pull through because a new academic year is starting and Lord knows what it has in store for me. it’s always a scary thought.

oh yes, i’m having my menses now so probably why i’m feeling down. alasan.

i need a miracle.

so help me Lord.

good night world.