tonight is the night

i was just thinking and remembering that this same night, 6 years ago, i made a turning point. and i yearn to have that feeling again. is tonight the night?

6 years ago, i made a very difficult decision. but this night have helped me to pull through. for i know there’ll always Be There. i remember this night had given me strength. truly.

and days ago i had to make a difficult decision. again. and i understood the moment i voiced out my decision, there are going to be challenges. there are going to be hardships. which might just pull me down. i understood that well enough. even if i were to choose the other. the same rule applies. i know it’s going to be hard. i just wasn’t expecting it to be rushing down on me.

for every hardship there is relief, seri, for every hardship there is relief.

but maybe tonight is the night?

——————–
aside from that, after so long not talking about the friend, i happened to hear two different news about the friend within the span of 7 days. neither good nor bad, coz i don’t care..anymore.
heard the friend is getting engaged soon. and then heard the friend was sentenced to a month’s jail. a world’s apart of news, heh?

and now i began to not understand why things happened, why the friend had to be a …friend…back in those days? i had always believed the friend more, despite all those ‘stories’. always had.

and now i began to think, for all those ambiguous words you said to me, friend. i guess there is one truth.

“you’re right, friend, i don’t deserve you.”

thank you for not being a friend anymore. coz it hurts less this way.

the force

I’m putting this video not so much for the pride of Rsaf, but rather the trailer’s words. I mean, so nicely said, that there’s only One which i think of everytime i saw this commercial on tv.

and reminded of one Hadith Qudsi, well not the same words, but the meaning can be quite similar.

On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said: Allah the Almighty said:

I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

09-08-2008

it had been a great national day spent with great people and mesmerized by great fireworks! first of was the 1st birthday party for Haajar Humayra’!! this cutest little girl is one year old!! who can get enough of her chubby cheeks and cheeky smile?? and she’s walking already!! with big eyes fixed to cameras. smarty pants! just cannot get enough of haajar!!


this little girl reminded me of:

and straight to esplanade to catch a glimpse…no…a whole show of fireworks with the girls. a beautiful sight indeed and right there, you’d think you could touch the fireworks! and yes, it’s a first experience! thank you to these people for an amazing night!

*picture grabbed from Suli’s* 🙂

and presenting the fireworks recorded by my humble ericko-san, pardon the voice…those are random voices from people around 😉 in awe, mystified, glorified.

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

i have this sudden thought to say thanks to these people too : the mrt staff, the bus drivers, taxi drivers, people from Defence and Home Team, ie, policemen, ns men from the army, cd team, for effective security, you can’t help feeling safe with their presence… and especially the uncles and aunties who CLEAN up the Padang, the Esplanade, for the immense amount of rubbish people left behind (and you call yourselves singaporeans???), when everyone were having after-parties or late night dinners, they were working, picking every bits and pieces up. THANK YOU.

not too late still to wish Happy National Day Singapore!!!

merpati

Seringkali ku terbayang wajahmu
Bibirmu mengucapkan cinta padaku
Belum sempat ku nikmati ku tersedar
Dari angan angan kian pudar

Memori cinta berbunga
Pun menghinggap di ingatan
Seperti sang merpati di dahan
Puas sudah ku berusaha
‘Tuk melupakan segalanya
Namun senyummu masih…

Dengan hari yang berlalu hanyutlah impian
Tapi ku masih menanti nantikan
Kehadiran seorang insan
Yang akan menggegar

Naluri seluruh tubuhku
Menyinar bak suria
Mentari mengisi hati tanda ceria
Setelah puas mencari
Tak pernah ku menduga
Kerna senyummu masih ada dihatiku
Di jiwaku.. Ooohh
Oh senyummu…

Memori cinta berbunga
Pun menghinggap di ingatan
Seperti sang merpati di dahan
Puas sudah ku berusaha
‘Tuk melupakan segalanya
Namun senyummu masih ada

out of nowhere, i’m liking this song. no particular reason..just because -it’s hady mirza…;)

monday licence


lessons after lessons, and final two lessons back to back after work. and the utter nervousness i felt since last saturday, and i truly know now how it felt when you say ‘you have butterflies in your stomach’. and believe me, you do.feel.butterflies.
wake up too early just because i couldn;t really sleep for the test was haunting me.

and all the way to the driving school…all the ‘wasiats’ my previous instructors have given me reeling through my mind. recalling immediate failures so that i won’t do them. remembering all the tips i’ve learnt. my Lord, i’m screaming inside!!

throughout warm up, i was just praying i won’t get my nervous breakdowns. tak pernah seumur hidup nervous macamni!!! not even during O levels, A levels, my Uni exams!
grateful to my friend Hamzah whose an instructor himself, and motivated me all the way…

and all not wasted!! i’m certified and licensed and legal now to DRIVE!!!! i’m still glowing because honestly, half way through the test, i knew i made mistakes, and vertical parking was nerve wrecking!! i was so sure i was going to fail!!

but those were…small mistakes…and right after the Traffic Police Tester explained my mistakes…he casually remarked…YOU PASSED. i was dumbfounded!!
and then i was smiling practically to everyone!! and congratulating those who passed the test when we met at this Video room.

that’s one thing… they give us the licence, and then they scare us 😉

is this for real??!!! :)))
YEY!!! YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEY!!!!!!!!

YEYEYEYEYEYEYE!!!!!

hanya ingin kau tahu

the song currently on repeat mode.

i’m seeing a trend, songs about love lost by death. there’s a few others laa which more or less trying to portray about ‘true’ love but ended with death. there’s letto’ premintaan hati and kaer’s song (can’t remember what the title of the song) even ungu’s demi waktu. it’s always either about death by accident or a fatal illness.

why is it important? of course, it’t not even intellectual enough to be talking about it. but i’m thinking of somehow interconnecting this two. there could be something to learn. and i’m not writing for you intellectuals. i’m trying to utillise two very influential tool in a teen’s life- music and video clips- and let them learn to watch and listen beyond entertainment.

and i’ll come back to this later. past bedtime…

–25–

i haven’t the chance to thank the girls for the belated birthday surprise :))
it started out, or so I thought as a birthday surprise for zaimah ONLY. anyway it didn’t turn out the way i thought it would be.

for one thing, zaimah couldn’t join us, which was bad to start off the day. i was personally really rooting she would be with us, well, it was a surprise for her….but we couldn’t exactly TOLD her it was a surprise, right?

but then, as it turned out, it’s a double thing laa.. for me and zaimah. thank you suli kak dewi fana mary shasha + darwis for the nice yummy truffle cake and the nice surprise as well. zaimah, happy birthday to you as well. hope you’re ok and happy there amidst your business. and syaspec!!! wished you were there with us!!!

haha, yes i got my teh ais!!
you know what girls. i think we should have a meet up every month. once a month…when we could just chill and talk and have a good time together after days of working and going through life with an almost robotic momentum. 😉

and once again thank you my dears. heart you all.

IIUM new Convo robe

for the benefit of my friends, who most of them will be graduating this coming August. i found this article in Kosmo! online issue.

this is the robe you guys will be wearing!!! nice ah! and it’s in blue, my fave colour!!
and what they meant by ‘hood’ is actually the ribbon which will be worn together with the robe, from the picture, you see, right the different colours, there’s red, yellow and blue. that’s the hood la.

any ways….i still love the past convo robe!! it has this exclusive feeling to the robe. *selamat beli* simpan jadi kenangan seh~ :))

hehe, korang excited??! kita pun ikut excited!
there’s a link on the title to the actual post.

link’s provided by a friend-adiputra.

2 worlds

Radiohead’s MTV official video clip for their song All I Need.
it affected me. much.

a pair of shoes connecting two different boys from different sides of the world.
at one side, a young boy seem to have everything he could have wanted, a good life, education, play, proper food. when at the other end, a child of the same age could have such a different life, working for the sake of having some food to eat a day, a roof to shelter. i have the sudden thought that the very pair of shoes i wear are somehow the work of a young child.

let’s learn to be more grateful, ok, Seri. people and children are suffering somewhere around the world. we should not whine and complain when things don’t go our way or we can’t get the things we want. some children don’t even get the basic things they need! they won’t even know the very concept of ‘want’ just because their ‘need’ are not met~

i’m reminded of this prose: if we think we have a problem, other people have problems too. there will be no end if we are to measure who has the bigger problem. just move on and get over it.

ps: if you’re from catholic jc and staying in hougang some years ago, say in the year 2000-2001, could you drop a word or two…..because someone who used to study there has something which was mine, and i need it back. and the problem is, this someone is beyond reach.
.
.
.
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fat chance. escapist!