keeping time

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its mid January no? reading about The Time Keeper makes me reflect quite a bit on my outlook of time.
I am reminded of a moment while working back in December that I asked for time to slow down because I still have a lot of pending work to catch up. and I was truly not ready to face 2014. I was not ready to face the work I have to endure in 2014.

then I did ask for time to move faster because I had just had it with all the work and I just want to go home and read. and how we are always rushing to go to work or complaining when the train is late when it is always on the go every few minutes. oh let’s not go into waiting for buses because I gave up on that.

we are always thinking about what will happen tomorrow if I don’t finish a task today, what will happen at the end of the week if I don’t do this and that? why not just focus on now. on today?

and truly the first weeks of January had been a rush. rushing to finish this and that, rushing to record the new students, rushing to send out letters because even parents have become impatient nowadays. rushing to return back calls, rushing to meet the teachers, rushing to make sure all classes going on well. its a mad rush. I didn’t think I had a chance to stop and breathe and just take it all in. its only mid January and I am exhausted. I am still rushing though. barely thinking for myself and my needs or that my family needs me. it is always about other people. other people’s times, parents’ timing, students’ timing. barely giving a bit of time to even say hello to my close friends.

I am going to teach myself to don’t wish for time. make do with the time given and don’t rush. coz my rushing is not for me. and people do not care. we have been so engrossed in work. so engrossed in what people expect of us, of what people want us to do for them. I would like to do my work and enjoy them. I do not want to feel forced. and for the second year, I am not going to make work the sole purpose of life. although what I do for a living could well be my purpose of being alive, but no, I cannot make it dominate my time. Already I am working 8 days last week. 8 days and a half. I forced myself to take time off Monday afternoon. I was bugged with calls and letters to send out. my off day is not a two days straight. I am always feeling exhausted. my off days are bugged with smses and calls, or, yea, back to work. im still ‘working’ on off day. and I am not even a business woman. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife. I don’t think im good at those departments now.

make time for myself. take it easy. don’t rush. things will be better I guess. 2014 is an exciting year but I have to face it with a clear rational mind and act effectively. not through rushing. keep time. as it is.

don’t feel rush. I’m a cancer, what can I say. we are domestic harmonious people. and I have my own idea of resting.

who is the freak who decided that everyone must work 8 hours a day anyway? 44 hours per week? what is home then? a place only to sleep? and you have to pay for a house for your whole life when you can only ‘sleep’ in it? you cant even enjoy your home coz you spend 10 hours outside, barely 5 hours of sleep and rushing through everything because of ‘work’. ok, I will stop here. because I am going to give a piece of my mind about living in this mad rushing island.

stay calm and do within what is in your control. today. not about tomorrow. What does the Qur’an teaches you about time? Patience.

learn some zen why don’t you Seri?

the time keeper

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The Time KeeperThe Time Keeper by Mitch Albom
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

this is my second time reading Mitch Albom after a long ‘hiatus’. i think the title attracted me to read him again.
i have many problems with this Time keeper. i cant say i don’t enjoy reading it. but its just that i think too much throughout reading it.

Like I want to know more about Dor. i cant picture him in my mind especially after he ‘descended’ back on Earth after thousands of years ‘hidden’ in a cave. and i still don’t understand why. i don’t see the significance of a teenage girl’s ‘measuring time’ just because of a guy. i can understand an old man’s need for time because he is dying. and the ending almost disappointing except i keep it positive with the knowledge that Dor reunited with his wife (i presume).

but the book did left me to ponder on some thoughts. on time yes.

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the silver star

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The Silver StarThe Silver Star by Jeannette Walls
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have been waiting for so long for a Jeannette Wells. and finally The Silver Star came up. I have always loved her writing style and enjoyed child experiences of simple living.

i loved The Silver Star although i keep wondering what this title star would refer to and all the time annoyed and angered at the girls’ mother for leaving in the first place and blaming her throughout for all the mess happening. and heh, im still angry at her way after finished reading it.

my only so called minus point of the silver star is that i just thought Bean is really way too mature for her age. i wasn’t expecting the ordeal Liz had to faced (and i thought it was quite an abrupt impromptu mid-suspense just because). i don’t know, there’s just something missing unlike the completeness, joy and happiness amidst a quirky family hardship of the Glass Castle.

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2014

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oh well, I am sure many people are also doing reflections and resolutions. I started the year with a nice homely breakfast, just me and husband, of warm French toasts, baked beans, some nuggets and nice hot milo. hopefully it is a start of a new habit I hope, making breakfasts for my husband.

and I have been spending the morning reading The Silver Star by one of my fave authors, Jeannette Walls. I bought the book quite some time ago and just thought I would read it on a good day and what better day than the start of 2014? so far, I cant seem to put the book down! about sisters taking care of each other. I am just taking a break from reading otherwise, nothing else gets done!

2013 had been crazy. but surprisingly good in some ways and it had been a year of travelling for me. work will always be crazy for me and I guess it had been a fight over time management and what arrangement suits best for me. seriously. I had been trying to balance work and family and my own self. There had been some form of almost balance some where but I found out it was never perfect. I still had not spend as much time with my family as I wanted. I only find myself more exhausted than ever with all the Sundays I went to work and Fridays of trying to finish work and all. although Fridays had been fun because I had sewing class which I truly enjoyed and proud of myself for actually taking it up. I am able to make skirts and a simple blouse now! talking about this makes my fingers itching to sew! I need to practice and I must make time for that.

I still owe my blogspace all the travel posts. I will make time for that. heh, I guess 2014’s mantra is ‘Make Time’

2013 was also a search for myself. and no I am not done yet. so 2014 may be the best year yet.

Looking forward to 2014 and better time management and love for my self. I have many plans for this year and I want to fulfill them. In Sya Allah.

the end of your life book club

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The End of Your Life BookclubThe End of Your Life Bookclub by Will Schwalbe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A loving tribute to mary ann schwalbe. it may just be one of the books I do not mind re-reading it again.

For the sake of this review. I just have to say that Mary Ann is such an inspiration and thank you to Will for writing this down so it may inspire others. Love that its about reading, enjoying and appreciating literature. Touching at some parts and definitely a tear when Mary Ann died.

Love it.

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post review: the end of your life book club

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I read it head on without any expectations, except thinking that it was about dying, and half expecting it to be a dread, and yes, blindly thinking it was pure fiction. Little did I know it was about a real person.It is also about love of books. I think that is what attracted me to read it and just couldn’t stop. I was eager to know what books that Will and his late mother would read and talk about next. It is about appreciating literature, learning from them, living the experiences of the authors. It teaches me how to really read books and appreciate them. I was so happy that at the end pages, there was a list of books that were mentioned in the book and quickly decided that there are some which I would like to read myself. Definitely going to be on the to-read list.

And Mary Ann is such an inspiration full stop. like a role model, a dear mother, a dear friend and determined to make a difference. reading on, sometimes I thought to myself, I want to be like her!

and I want to have a book club. although the end of your life bookclub is between a son and a mother, the discussions and reflections they had were very interesting, lively, thought provoking, reflective definitely and it make me want to indulge in those kinds of discussions. reading through it makes me feel like I am part of the book club.

So I have been reading three novels in a row, both about life and death, both about sincere love, care and concern towards the people you love. and this latest one, a lovely memoir if I may say. it is what inspires me. and I love books which inspires me to be a better person. to do something, no matter how little and make a difference.

in the book, much of it was reminisces of mary ann’s work in refugee camps, and I really love her mission to build a library at Afghanistan, I realized, it may just be something I had dreamt of doing. I remembered researching about social work in camps and all, and yes, admiring Angelina jolie for being able to work for and be spokesperson to relief works. it still is something I would like to do if given the chance. but as mary ann puts it, having no chance of not doing is not a reason for doing nothing at all. it may start small from a little donation. and it may move from there.

and maybe someday, I will. so anyone up for a book club??

aspire.inspire

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That which befits us, embosomed in beauty and wonder as we are, is cheerfulness, and courage, and the endeavour to realize our aspirations. Shall not the heart which has received so much, trust the power by which it lives? May it not quit other leadings, and listen to the soul that has guided it so gently, and taught it so much, secure that the future will be worthy of the past?

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

yours truly

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finally I did it! after much thought and a bit of research from wordpress blogs, as well as briefly consulting my colleague on whether it is worth it and affordable, I finally did it.

I am officially a domain!
it’s pretty!

I have been toying with the idea of having my own domain for my blog. I guess it’s a logical progression. believe it or not I have been blogging since 2004! and in May 2014, it will finally be my tenth year of blogging. this domain, is like a commemoration of that, although advanced because, well, im a bit richer in December usually. instead of buying stuff, I awarded myself with a domain of my own. 🙂

this means the name ‘livingseri’ has been a part of me for close to a decade already. and it has been the name I have been using everywhere, twitter, instagram, tumblr and blogger. of course, blogger is what brings me to well, blogging. I still love that site, still have my account there just because I do not have the heart to delete all my stories from there.

livingseri has witnessed my happiness and sadness, my struggles and achievements and even mundane daily stuffs. it just feels right to finally ‘owned’ the name in the virtual world. I have connected to this name for so long.

and I hope to do more with my blogging and this page. it has seen me grow. i have always been a diary person, but I stopped writing when I found blogging. I will continue to blog/write, perhaps more seriously now. I am not one to seek attention but if there is something that readers may gain from my blog, I would gladly share, well, its a risk to take. even if there are no readers, it will still be a page I can call my own in the midst of billions of netizens.

one thing need to do now, which may take forever, it to filter through all my posts since May 2004. there may be posts which is better left unpublic. this is all about moving forward and looking to the future with positivity and create memories and lessons learnt. perhaps, it will be a legacy for my children, from the internet generation, a page they can always look back and read through whenever they wish to remember their mummy.