i was disturbed by this so called quote.
my response:
in the beginning
in the beginning
i thought i was going to be a job hopper for after my temporary contract finishes with, what i think the best, job i will ever had, i will be at a lost of what exactly i wanted to do.
i started out being an assistant doing very administrative works, just helping here and there when needed, and then they gave me some ‘real’ work to do and my organizing skills kicked in. time flies very fast, they gave me tasks or projects to handle, although one i thought i did not do my best, maybe not my forte.
being a net citizen, into social networks and all, i’ve always been an introvert person and physically or virtually, i cant bring myself to be an outgoing person. and thus, the failure in it. but i am proud i was given an opportunity to meet with many people in the media world and those who have vision and mission in da’wah through media. well, i’ve always known my da’wah is not that.
my da’wah is this. education. it was an impromptu decision but if reading The Alchemist ever taught me, it’s that the whole universe works towards a destiny. (heck, i should not be quoting from authors, i should be quoting from the Prophet or the Sahabats or the alims!!)
i guess there are few people i should be thankful for, playing a part in making me who i am today. of course, it was never a smooth journey. never. more hard times than happier ones but i’ll let myself persevere, for surely these hard works will not go unworthy. these difficult times are a phase which, upon reflection, i have to face. because, as i’ve always reminded my students, a challenge or obstacle is upon us not to degrade us, but really, we are chosen to face it because the Lord knows we can handle it, we can overcome it in victor. if not in the eyes of human, well, Lord knows everything.
la taziru waziratan wizra ukhra.
runny nose
so i’m having a runny nose at the moment, when my nose is not running anywhere. heh. ok, it’s the panadol kicking in. but it’s so sudden this virus. i didnt think i’ve been near anyone who was ill.
i have to stop this shopping spree but i think it’s just that time of the year.
abang is doing some work, so i thought i’d log in and do some work as well. let’s see, budgetting done, programme planning done…waiting for the youth’s progs…oh yea, listing out jobscopes for the level coordinators. a lot of things to do aye first month of the year.
oh by the way, i though i enjoyed reading mcalister’s steampunk novel…but it’s quite draggyy, i think i’ll read it fast enough with skipping some pages, heh…i have my eye on a new book: you lead, they’ll follow 😉
just another sunday
two weeks after 2011 and i dont feel like there’s anything new…except more work..haha!
after so called declaring in one of my tweets that my work seems interesting and that although saturday is the busiest, it is, the most fulfilling. in a sudden realisation, it gives a new perspective and a positive energy to do it all. and i must say, it looks exciting this year. starting with teachers who liked to make a disappearing acts!!
well, maybe it’s shortlived, but while i’m at it, let’s keep the momentum.
as at the moment, i refuse to do any work on a sunday and that abang has kept me ‘locked’ up 🙂 cant blame him when we spent our saturdays apart. while single, i dont really think about it, but after marriage, it made me feel guilty sometimes, thinking him alone at home. but work on saturdays are move move move non stopping. sometimes i feel my whole 4 days week is just to prepare myself on saturdays.
marriage life is the only sanity i have right now. have someone to listen to my ramblings and nonsense. accept my flaws and loving all of me. it’s close to 4 months and i’m grateful to have you in my life.
also heads up for my little brother khidir and little sister nuri for getting good grades in their N and O levels respectively. will always be proud of them.
miss my family.
time on my own
let’s do something productive shall we?? missing abang who’s at work.
madrasah is starting tomorrow and i pray hard that things will go well.
i’ve read up my trainer’s guides and actually went to the library to borrow some books with SIL.
and actually excited to read them all. hahaha. initially i thought i have to go to work to settle some stuff but i guess let’s not do that and enjoy this time i have.
i think i’m just recuperating before facing tomorrow. really pray things to well insya Allah.
2011
alhamdulillah we meet 2011 and i have a lot of reflections to do. many things to be grateful for and i am well into the new phase of life. insya Allah!
so it’s not going to be about resolutions but i know there’s a few things which i want to accomplish, or rather i hope to, in 2011 since i didnt get to do them properly in 2010.
less stress at work i hope. or i’m giving myself 1 year. whichever is not mental and physical health hazard. i love what i’m doing but it’s the people which are dragging me down.
like updating my blog regularly for instance! and tweeting! although i planned to blog and tweet something more intellectual lah, rather than my daily lament of work and whatnots. like quotes from my fave books ke. i miss my self and i want to live it with the additional of being Mrs Suhaimi! :)) what more can a person want.
more confidence. read more ilmi books with the occasional great novels. go for talks and seminars becoz i tend to miss those with the alasan of work. be out there to gain experience and of course in my line of work, i need to be more aggressive, i guess, oh not, the word is assertive.
and i miss being rajin lah. since living in a house with a very efficient helper, i miss doing the things i used to do and i have been slacking like what! a little sweep in my room and that’s it. but see lah what we can do around home ok, haha. i like it that i dont have to do anything, but sometimes i kind of feel guilty.
and everyone wants to be happy. so i pray for happines for all the people close to me.
i love abang. i love ratu romo. i love lifi siti nuri edid.
and i guess i have to catch up with my frens. regardless from where they are. but i think its going to be hard to like go out always with frens because i can go out on weekdays, but i cant stay too late like i can when i was single. and then on saturday i’ll be slogging at work whole day and afterwards, hubby will claim me. and sundays for family or i will need the rest. but nevertheless! i want to spend some time with my girlfrens. insya Allah. inikan ukhuwwah ;))
i pray for everything good. 2011.
a week away
its that time of the year when i would feel more stressed than ever. i really am. abang is already sleeping soundly but i cant bring myself to sleep despite feeling exhausted. my mind has this buzzing train passing through which doesnt seem to stop. i was watching lara croft on channel 5 with the hope for r and r but her ultra confidence is stabbing me because at this point i dont seem to have one.
i was browsing through facebook and saw acquaintances’ pics of their holidays and that made me happy for a short while coz it reminded me of our nz amazing trip and then stumbled upon some facebook pages of people’s online ’boutique’ with their shawls, and blouses, and long dresses, maxi dresses and whatnots but i dont even have the excitement of looking through them because even with an extra month’s pay, i suddenly lost the mood to spend it.
and i was hungry but i dont feel like eating.
that’s how bad and low i’m feeling at this point. although i know i should be counting my blessings now.
i’m stuck with doing a task which i honestly dont have the time to do, although i would rather do it than handling some of the stuffs i’m supposed to do at work.
i have uniforms to worry about. i have teachers to worry about because i dont have enough up till now. and i was dropped an unfortunate news that the transport vendor wouldnt take up students on weekdays and few parents called asking about it. and one even go all the way wanting us to refund everything because of this transport issue. parents jangan melenting boleh tak??!! im feeling shitty already without you having to add up to the mess. i cant please everyone for God’s sake. i really dont understand parents nowadays. always expecting things to go their way and when its not they go all hurricane.
and for the umpteenth record, i might as well work without a ydo. like seriously. ive been covering for the ydo, i keep reminding and asking the ydo to do tonnes of things not done and the youth seem to be able to fend for themselves for that matter.
i’ve had big dreams and its not achieveable with ydo acting like this, and well, teachers need their holidays. but i think ive been waaayy too good.
and oh yes, why have i been seeing my students so called declaring love in their fb statuses? have they learnt nothing???!! next year its all going to be old fashioned. i’m telling you kids you’re going to get it from me!! before someone pulls me away and say ‘it’s all just a phase, we have to understand them bla bla bla’.
one week away to strategise.
i’ve cut my hair short, i could very well go bald soon.
but Lord, i’m grateful to You for giving me a job, at a place that i can practice my religion without boundaries and i love the fact that it’s about education. but i feel my strength is draining low by the day and i need to pull through because a new academic year is starting and Lord knows what it has in store for me. it’s always a scary thought.
oh yes, i’m having my menses now so probably why i’m feeling down. alasan.
i need a miracle.
so help me Lord.
good night world.
25.09.2010
when sickness creeps in…we tend to reminisce in happier times. after so long of not being sick, my body has finally succumbed to the bug. but since am home and seemingly rebelling from pending works, i have the sudden inclination to upload photos overdued.
MY WEDDING PICS…
25.09.2010
and all the time he doesnt know i was behind him
My father our qadhi
doing what i’ve yearned so much to do
the most happiest people, besides me and abang, my colourful family
magical day
it’s been a month!! of wedded bliss and fluttering hearts everytime we touch. 😉
still at honey mooning stage they say and what best way to mark the one month anniversary than a reminisce of the wedding day. but i guess pictures always speak a thousand words. and in becoming the bride, i knew now that the aqad nikah is such a powerful moment. indeed there was the qadhi and the witnesses, but it’s not only a matter of words and a certificate with both my name and dear’s name, but it’s as if the Lord Himself is ‘there’ witnessing this me and him union, and angels amongst family and friends. the whole universe is celebrating…ok ok i know, i read too much fantasy books.
dinner was magical. with my favourite song Anywhere by Evanescence while we made our entrance. i love it. it is a dream come true because i’ve always thought Anywhere is a perfect song to play as we walk along the aisle. and it did. thank you abang dearest for making my dream come true.
and i was a javanese princess on sunday 😉
i meant to add pictures in this particular post, but give me one two days yeah. one good thing was the pictures were ready within a month. the photographers were clearing all assignments before they hit the popular date 101010. except for the studio shots. and i’m excited for that as well.
and not to mention our scenic new zealand trip. our first quarrel and made up 😉 knowing one another a bit more, the struggle against the cold (for me, abang was at peace with the cold, heh) and hours of driving.
heartbeats
it has been a beautiful, amazing, dream-like fulfilled for the past weeks i do not want it to end.
i have so many things to blog about that sometimes words cant describe so where do i start?
the days of singlehood is passe to me. i’m a wife now. we have each other now. always. it feels so natural to be in his arms. 😉
i have hundreds of pics to upload. yes yes wedding event pics are ready! (i thought that’s fast, received an sms from the photographers during our honeymoon and collected them the very next day after we reached sg)
honestly, my mind is still reminiscing the days before, during the wedding and after, which is of course our amazing New Zealand trip. still fresh in mind me missing him when we are supposed to not meet before the wedding but eventually had to two days before for my bridal make up and dresses trial. my heartbeat was running (as if meeting him for the first time!) and looking at him and thinking “this man here is going to be my husband in 2 days’ time!” anggun andaman was great! beautiful gorgeous dresses and make-up! perfect place for simpletons like me 😉
moments of disbelief, of dreaming and imagination almost sinked in when my best friend Mahir gave me some ‘serious’ advice, my wedding service planner Kak Tini came with the photographer en zain and cik nor the caterer. while making some final arrangements, my mind so full of many other things to think about, but at some corner, it gives a picture of maturity, of responsibility, a new life together what lies ahead is indescribable and of possibilities.
the day, friday, when syraskins (that girl is very ‘entrepreneural’!) came and had to do my henna…i’m just relaxing and she’s drawing my hands and feet, therapeutic in a way..and the smell of cooling fresh henna paste triggered my senses, it’s another eureka moment for me.. 🙂
i was thinking of abang dearest and wondering how’s he going on with all the preparations at his side and missing him and telling myself this will all be over and i’m going to be his tomorrow! i may look calm and relaxed, but my mind and heart was like a hurricane of memories and feelings!
and come the Day. beautiful day on 25th September 2010….
to be continued…hubby juz called he’s taking half day!
living seri 