Someone sent a message to me first claiming to be guilty if a message is not sent to me as making the impression that as though it is important to send me a message…and so I reply to that message asking why would someone feel guilty and then I receive none a single message after that like as though now it’s not important at all and seeming to be the most care less, can’t be bothered and heartless person when someone can actually add friends, even testimonials to others but not a single little message to this hell of confused and sick chick…and so I guess someone did message after all but it didn’t reach me and so I try my luck again and sent one saying I passed my exams and that it seemed odd someone don’t even bother to reply to my last message, disguising as a person wanting to know if her apologises were accepted since it is Eid after all….and so I checked out the site again, that maybe…maybe someone would reply to my message now…and I’m beginning to lost track of days and dates when I was online for the number of times was almost countless when I would wait for a message from someone and it never came and it’s scary to think of the number of messages that someone may have sent to some other friends…I don’t know. I don’t know what to think anymore…it’s damn pathetic feeling this way but I cannot get rid of it. Everytime I woke up thinking that maybe today I am myself, that my mind won’t wander to some person, in the end, someone just made itself known and continue to dwell. Stupid F**ker! I do not deserve this.

I guess I get the message now. I’m not the person someone said I was anymore…that maybe there’s another friend.. I get the message now. I won’t bother anymore less I’ll be the making a stupid fool of myself. I get the message now.

Or just maybe I spoke all this too soon. Maybe I misunderstand someone..and that is what I don’t know. I don’t want to doubt him. I really don’t. I thought I trust him… as a friend. I will get rid of this devil in me.

Shit..Forget it..