it.could.be.a.good.excuse

Of hobbies and pretty things

the age of craziness

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

i picked this book out of nowhere. i probably seen it in some bookstagram account and thought the title sounds interesting. i had no expectations because i have never read karen thompson walker. and then i also came across the dreamers by the same author, i ended up borrowing both books. i realised i had marked it as ‘to read’ back in 2014!

i liked it when i first started reading it, and then a bit bored when i realised that perhaps this book is a young adult fiction (??), the protagonist is a twelve year old girl..and the story starts to feel repetitive. i turned on speed reading and skimmed through.

it really is the end of days kind of book..but through a ‘slowing’ and the eyes of a child. the struggle of living teenage confusion even in desperate times… it dreads and dragged a bit. picked up momentum somewhere towards the ending chapters. but then again, i felt oh lord, this could be how the end of days ‘look’ like. and then i shuddered. the author specifically mentioned

one day we heard a strange sound in the sky: a crinkling, a tearing, like cellophane rustling in the wind. it came from every direction….it was heard – some say felt….nothing was seen. whatever swirled in the atmosphere that day was invisible to human eyes

Chapter 30, The Age of Miracles, Karen Thompson Walker

i mean, girl, what is that? are you describing sangkakala?

sheeshh.

so i was trying to start borrowing books again, so i could maybe stop this crazy urge to keep on buying books. (saying this!!! after perhaps spending $300 on books from Times, Wardahbooks and Kinokuniya…yes in that order). in my defence, i deserved to spend on books because i was going through some triggered black mood and empathically impaired because i felt wronged and wanted to be selfish because in my narrowed mind, people are being selfish. did it make me happy? no. it didn’t. i feel sick.

is there a name for this disease?!

***

but then somehow, i downloaded the NLB app, which allows us to search for, find its availability and reserve, if deem to. and i found out (noob!) i can borrow and read ebooks! therefore, i may have suddenly discover the joy of reading ebooks (not having to bring sometimes heavy books around) and the convenience of reading news from the ST app (i mean i always feel i have not enough time to read the papers). ahh…the world in my hand…

i contemplated a kindle out of this new discovery, but decided against it… nope not yet…no shopping…

samsung galaxy note has really turned me into a smartphone geek. maybe audiobook soon. (yup, you can borrow audiobooks from NLB too!)

***

half year already people. be strong. have faith. persevere…..i feel like i have not done much. and i am running to capture as many tasks as possible. three months honeymoon passed. pretty ok but nothing significant. my days are counted here. on the other hand, i am looking forward for classes already. i worry i could go back to writing and reading slump if given ‘rest’ too long. this brain needs some serious exercise already!

move on already

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in a desperate attempt to MOVE ON from seo jun’s dramas, because i desperately want to watch something new by him but none as of yet…i resort to the next closest thing to him. his hwarang brother park hyungsik. but not watching hwarang (coz what’s the point, it will be rewatching seo jun still right), instead, its strong girl bong soon.

and i am enjoying it so far. i realise i like watching funny korean dramas like this. considering the one that got me ‘hooked’ in the first place was Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo…..wait…what is it with me liking funny witty strong girls?! :O

yaaa, it was not seo jun who got me hooked on korean dramas, but certainly got me hooked on everything seo jun.

i am slowly returning back to my self when it was before seo jun. when i really don’t care about personalities, actors and actresses, no matter where they come from. like i can have a favourite drama or song, but i never saw the need to know their personal lives. except for a few. even then, it’s not like i stalk their social media every day. whatever comes up at IG lah. i miss my old me haha.

please know i am writing nonsense as of this post is merely because i wanted to bring up some writing mojo. its not because i really want to write about seo jun…although…it could be something ‘nice’ to write about also haha. watching his dramas on repeat made me noticed things, like you know, how people point out mistakes or inconsistencies along the way. oh well, when i really have much idle time then.

nowadays i also need to have some writing mojo because…..academic writing! here i come!!

2019. be nice.

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i have been sitting at this very exact pose for a few hours now. contemplating on whether to catch up on work, or do a blogpost, or simply watch another of park seo joon’s series….. the latter of the three won over and i am watching, or rather re-watching She Was Pretty for the …hmmm… i lost count. my only rationale was i had been watching it through Viu, but then it suddenly became available in Netflix, so why not increase some view rates through Netflix as well, huh?

please do not judge, i woke up early today (to my own perception of early). had breakfast with hubbylove, and did a bundle of chores to start the new year! it feels good, i think i missed doing some chores nowadays, because i had a tremendous amount of blaséness these days and some inexplicable form of what i perceived as pseudo-anxiety.

i know in the back of my mind the long list of tasks i need to do work wise, but i feel stuck and was not sure where to start, what to complete first. ended up, i ‘reasoned’ out to myself that i do not need to do anything at the moment, it can wait, nothing too urgent, but deep in my heart, that flutter of ‘God! i need to complete this now!’ is always there. and then i cower again, and slip into weariness. sigh, when is this teenage angst going to end??!  or gasp!  is it middle age crisis already?! i keep telling myself it is ok to slow down at this moment, because you can foresee there’s no slowing down in 2019. for about a few seconds, the self agrees before guilt strikes.

i want to move away from doing any bestnine2018 or resolution post 2019 on a new year’s day, I’m going to be indie and take my time doing it, or not do at all, or semi-do it. i am also putting an IG-detox on myself for the next two days maybe. that has been somewhat a self imposed tradition for the past 6 years or so. well, i have issues, forgive me. and i don’t want to hurt myself, or others, by scrolling through photos i don’t want to know. the photos or updates will still be there when next i recover from the detox. so no harm not being up-to-date or live-updated. I’m happier this way. this excludes my girlfriends though. but they usually share in wa groups and then we’ll squeal and scream emoji style! while i still be zoned out in my workspace.

welcome 2019. be nice.

ps: when did my blog keeps on featuring seo joon’s face already?! what are you? 15?!

pps: promised myself to start blogging p.r.o.p.e.r.l.y soon. wait, is that a resolution?

seo joon-a

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please keep an open mind. laugh if you will. i prefer that.

i feel like a 15 year old (was that 20 years ago??). but this is my current silly obsession.

and it’s his birthday today. and like his thousands of fans. i want to wish him a good birthday, health and happiness and hope for many successful years. already i am rooting for his next movie. until then, i will keep on repeat mode his past dramas and movies.

please don’t get married yet. 😛

or maybe marry anyone else. not pmy please.

flower love

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i took up a flower arrangement class after much contemplating. i am glad i did it. it was totally out of my comfort zone because it is my first time going to courses or workshops that has nothing to do with education, educating, self development, leadership and all those work-related stuff. super out of my comfort zone because i have none of my friends or those familiar faces i will usually see when i go for courses.

i signed up to the unknown but finding familiarity and comfort in the love of flowers and excitement of learning something new. i knew i will be meeting new people and going to a place that was unheard of before this.

but really the choice was made with pleasure.

i came in, put my heart and soul in the learning, finding out that it was really a difficult thing to do flower arrangements, but came out feeling rejuvenated. as though i just came out of a wonderland and stepped back in the raining reality smiling. like really, i totally forgot about work. forgot about being stress, and the fact that i forgot to send out two important smses which i had planned to. but i didnt feel even guilty about it, because i was still basking in the positive energy i am receiving from the learning, the humble and expert trainers, and the ladies around.

it was like a 360 degrees turn around of brain matter.

learnt some great new tips and am actually looking out to attend more. it is such a happy therapy.

Flower arrangement workshop was organized by cherriesmitten and trainer was flair.design The ladies behind these names are so humble and friendly, just chatting away their experiences and tips. i didnt even realize the amount of experience and trials flower arrangements took until i meet them. i mean i did flower arrangements, using artifical flowers, and i thought that was pretty hard, these are real flowers we’re using and they are doing events with them. wow. that sure took a lot of patience and hardwork. but passion and love too.

im pretty excited. to more workshops!

Eid 2016

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Alhamdulillah. we meet Eid again.

quite honestly, i am not the type to look forward to Eids so much. the feeling is more mild and void of the tranquility we had in ramadan. of course, the first day of Eid is a symbol of success after going through the fasting month. but really, my eid is up to solat eid. after that, the feeling slows down and going through the motion of visiting. as always, i had to rush.

but oh well, all is fine. i am just glad that i have the week to have some recuperating apart from the visiting.

the one difference and excitement i had this year was the sudden crafting urge to make flower arrangements and finally had the opportunity to just go for it and do it. perhaps i may have went overboard about it. i spent close to 300$ on the flowers from bazaar, some tools from spotlight and the vases from ikea. but i am happy. and i am quite surprised that i have some talent in it! initially it was out of need to give some colour to my PV house. but turned out, i have awesome skills and eye for it. i am glad i did it. i absolutely loved and enjoyed the whole process of arranging the flowers. i couldnt stop looking at them!

IMG_1402

i also arranged some for my mom and sisters and for HC home. i am on a roll. i don’t mind pursuing this. arranging the flowers are almost therapeutic, just as i had with my scrapbooking and bookmarks. i loved it.

and i hope to make it a yearly thing. maybe it can be gifts that i can give to relatives for raya. i can take this time to make it as a serious hobby to learn the trades and one day, it can benefit others too. i posted the pics on fb and ig and i was surprised that many people approved of it. maybe next time it can be a sideline, i could learn about fresh flowers and more. could be just one of the skills that i can be proud of.

well i guess that is the highlight of my eid.

a good reading year

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i was looking back at my goodreads reading challenge. i targetted to read 30 books in 2015 and currently at 20. i do not think i can catch up with 10 more books now that we are left with about 6 days to the next year. although at the moment i am concurrently reading 3 books.

i have had some disappointments with some of the books which i read this year. however, looking back at my track record, i have to say i am quite proud of myself. it had been a good reading year. some of my favourite books were found and read lovingly this year. add up to the hangovers and reading slumps i had, it must have been quite a number of times.

i had Danielle Trussoni’s Angelology and Angelopolis. i read two of Jodi Picoult’s but loved one than the other, which is Where There’s Smoke. i was surprised at Karen Joy Fowler’s We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves and Virginia Hislop’s The Island.  these two books wasnt what i expected, well i expected them to be drama and dread, similarly with Still Alice. but i was glad i read them and truly enjoyed them.

My favourite book of the year has to be Ruth Ozeki’s A Tale for The Time Being. Coming second is Haruki Murakami’s Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage (only because i thought 1Q84 was the bestest i have read of Murakami’s)

it’s been a pretty good year then.

I wonder how 2016 would be, reading-wise. I felt like a much needed academic, non fiction and intellectual reading.  Like i’m currently reading 7 Habits and The Purification of the Heart. (i’m quite amused that i am reading the two books at the same time). i definitely will only complete reading them in early 2016. a good start to the year i hope.

 

return to the pen

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i am now your ‘certified’ journal writer. not one not two but three journals. or rather planners and journals.

i have started writing since the start of december and i realised i couldnt stop writing. and it surprises me how much i have to tell from just one day.

why so many? i guess i want to separate my worklife from my personal life. i used to dumpl everything into one planner and then as the months go by, i saw that work took up more and more space for it and leaving little for my personal life. so now i have two planners. one purely for work and its like everyday there seems to be a new list of things to get done. covered the whole weekly page!

i have a little black book dedicated to my personal life, my habits, my list of things to do for home and family. i have to do this and make it a commitment to love my self more. and i pretty much love it.

i also have a daily journal that i have been writing nonstop. its a one page a day journal and hey, sometimes i have so many things to write within a day, i kind a have to stop and make it to another day.

i am also currently trying to write a journal which is more like a biography of sorts. who knows, it could be the start of something. may not be my story, but still a story to tell.

i am not abandoning my space, my virtual space as yet. i still love blogging. its just that there is more to write than just blog. perhaps this space could evolve.

reading slump

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i have just gone through a reading slump. i just found out about this term from bookstagrammer this morning. it’s interesting. i have always had a book hangover but i have never given a name to the periods when i found myself uninterested to read any book or it seems like no book seems to attract me enough to continue reading it.

and yes i had this reading slump. and usually after a book hangover.so few days ago, i keep on returning to my bookshelf, pick one book up, read the first page or a few, and put it back not interested.

until last sunday, i decided  should just give away these books away since i am never going to read them. somewhere else, just not on my shelf. i picked up Still Alice and surprisingly i thought to myself that perhaps i could give it a second chance. i did watch the movie but i simply hated it. but the book…everyone should just read the book and forget about the movie. i finished the book in two days! shows how much i pretty liked the book, and it is like a most satisfying drink of a reading thirst.

and now i am ready to move on to the next book!

authors to read

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you know in all of my reading years, i have not read books by some of the wellknown fantasy authors. i have always loved David Eddings’ and Mercedes Lackeys’ fantasy series and i have been lucky enough to grab hold of them in chronology. although, i admit, i pretty much stopped reading fantasy after knowing Tolkien. i felt like no other fantasy books/ novels could match up or sustain my fantasy thirst such as Tolkien. Maybe because i tend to love elves, fairies, and beautiful castles more than just war and magic.

i really have to expand my reading, the authors, at least.

some authors i hope to read some day:

1. Terry Brooks (i know, i know, how can i (self proclaimed fanatasy reader) have never read the Shannara series, right? it’s just that i like to read series in chronology and i can never get the Shannara series, from the library, from the first to the next series)

2. Stephen King
don’t scream at me yet. i just thought i am not ready to read any of king’s horror. that’s all. nothing personal.

3. Robin Hobb
I see his books a lot out there but the urge was never to pick his book. maybe the titles with assassin just doest give me that pull. im not a violent person.

4. Nora Roberts
Oh i have read hers before but i simply lost interest. Maybe i could give her another chance.

5. Enid Blyton
I miss Enid. i really do. i grew up reading her magic trees and my imagination soars and livened up by the illustrations that we usually see in her books. i love Enid. and you know what. i really don’t mind going to the children’s book section of the library and hog all Enid’s books one day.

6. JK Rowling
hmmm yup. don’t scream please. i know the hype. i know the love people have towards the harry potters series. i think its been a decade already. but honestly i have never touched any of harry potter in book form. never. just because those times, you have to queue and rush with the crowd just to get one copy of her book. so i wanted out of mainstream. but i did, watch the movies. i can very well say i am quite the harry potter fan, when it comes to the movies.
but now that the series …books and movies form…have so called ended (for the time being i guess, coz im hearing of more harry potters coming up?), i have the sudden recall of hei, i would love the own the series and read it to my child some time in the future. no child should be deprived from reading harry potter just because i’m not into them. but i am clever now. i will only buy the series when i like a particular edition.

so there you go, some project there. that can probably last me the whole next decade of reading!