Not feeling so well today, had a terrible headache and had just taken two panadols. Missing home rigt now but I’ve made the decision to not go back to Singapore until the mid term break. See if i can stand that long. I don’t know why been feeling quite mellow. Maybe too tired because of the thinkings I had to do for the whole week with those questions lecturers had given leaving us pondering and wondering. But those are questions that really made me do some soulsearching and finding myself. I needed that.

And most obvious is my less thinking of you know who. I guess it’s a good thing. The feelings might not change but it felt like a burden lifted off this fragile shoulder, like I found myself back. But I can’t wait for his birthday….wish I can do something for him but he’s inaccessible. I did buy a little something but it had to be kept for now. I can’t bring myself to actually give/send this thing to him. Can I just send a little thought of prayer for him instead for his birthday?? A prayer that he’ll be well and fine all the time, surrounded by true friends, protected from anything that is going to make him sad or troubled and be the best that he can. Shit, my tears are ready to flow again. Stupid me. Of course, there are other girls right? Stupid bugger me.

Anyway, will try to get rid of all negative thoughts and whatever. Tired of it all. He’ll be well, wherever he is.