I was given answers since last night when I asked myself this question: Why was I deprived of sweet teenage love?? Something that will grow mature together?? Well, miracles do happen and Allah has given me answers.

First was from my Halaqah book which I never bother to read..and I was suddenly directed to read it, I had been reading my schoolbooks and was looking for something else to leisure read, and my hand took this halaqah book, so I started to flip through when there’s an article by someone about dating…The thing I had imagined myself going out with someone and here is an article saying that I don’t have to worry for being undated, I won’t be losing any coolness just to be in the crowd where everyone has someone, seriously it has to be fortunate that I don’t have to be fooling myself, soothing myself just to feel better when knowing that it’s not right to date when all it does is more physical attraction and emotional bondage to someone whom I might not end up with for the rest of my life. It’s a fortunate thing that I don’t have to face any hurt, rejection, depression and whatnots in the dating game. And that Allah has keep a special one just right for me, so I don’y have to worry. That special person will come.

Second was a twenty minutes lecture from my Sociologist’s lecturer. She actually wasted a whole 20 minutes talking about boy-girl relationships in this uni who is supposed to be upstanding islamic values. She was disgusted with the students she saw who might be an item. She’s not saying us to avoid relationships whatsoever, she just wanted us to be more aware of who we are, where we are, and what values we uphold. It’s all peer pressure and suddenly things like dating become permissible just because everyone is doing it. So where is the islamic???

As for me, it’s not like I don’t want to date at all, but I’m still searching for myself, the values that I hold, the person that I want me to be…the dreams that I want to fulfill, the knowledge that I want to acquire. And it’s not like I have the looks or the body to think too much of ever attracting a significant other. Allah has save me from committing wrongdoings in my teenage life, thank You Allah. And I know there is that special someone out there, who will eventually find me, the only guy who is just right for me and me for him. Would it be him?? I don’t know, only time will tell…..But I guess for now, I want to concentrate on my studies and my dreams. If he is the one, he will be. If he isn’t, then let me be strong. I have to know that this future guy is the best guy of all. So help me God.