What is up today??? Same old same old. Last night was really a stuffy night even though the fan was on at level 4, and I couldn’t sleep till almost 4am, even then I had to wake up for Subh and only after that can I sleep peacefully till 9am.

Ethics class teaches us about duty to friends and obviously it affected me a little. I don’t know why, maybe because of the things that I faced that involved people who call themselves friends. It’s hard to be good to people when people hurt us and they just don’t realise it. And when I go into my silent mode, people thinks I’m making faces at them. What the..!! The truth is I am truly hurt by the things some people do. And I kept quiet about it.. why?? Because sometimes it seems childish and stupid and like it’s nobody’s fault so why bring it up and make things worse. I don’t know if the problem lies in me. Maybe it is…so I’m going for a soul-searching in what is wrong with me~ It’s always me anyway…other people are always right, it’s always like that.

Like when here I am listening to one person lamenting about their problem with others, and then I kept quiet about it, neither commenting nor meeting with the other party and people think I go shit about them. Or like when going to a teacher’s house which I know, but they didn’t even ask if I wanted to come along…or like going to some place and I thought they call us some clique but they never asked me along..so what is the problem here?? It’s childish isn’t it, thinking this way. It makes me think back of whoever out there who actually appreciate me.

And there is one friend, since at my old school aka since primary one, we’ve been friends (or is it?) and still I don’t know what’s her problem. I’ve been ‘mistreated’ by her a lot of times, and still I didn’t learn.

All I know now there are people who are my real friends, and some who are just people passing by my life. God knows better.