The name of the porgramme which the Sports Secretariat of IRK Society held last Saturday. I can’t say I enjoyed it that much. It was more tiring and exhausting that the feeling of enjoyment was lost. It was terrible, we had to go search from one checkpoint to another and the campus was no small place, for God’s sake!! Why I went?? Because of my EDU sect. chariperson, Abg Azhari and Tawfique, because of my cousin being one of the committee for the programme, because of friends being in the Sports. If they did not appreciate this simple thought, then they may have hearts made of stone. Because I did not enjoy the whole thing, and at the same time I was having this monthly woman sickness, and having to walk and run from one point to another was not an easy task for me that day. Well, all the same, congrats to my friends who organized the programme.

Later that day, I went to KLCC with Aili and Qadar, for a mere three pathetic pieces of pictures that I had to get for interfaith’s secretarial report. All the same, I think that was my first outing for this semester and I enjoyed it. I got to spend hours at Times, Tower Records and Kinokuniya. That was heaven to me. We met Eka and Anys in the evening. A very tiring day but I enjoyed the latter part of the day.

Yesterday we had the first meeting for Forum of I’ MEC ’05. Got to meet the sub committees and discussions for the forum aka informal opening ceremony. The story that I meant to tell here was an act of two friends who I thought was close enough and understanding and caring….but I guess I was wrong. Well, one friend was the vice president of the society and happened to be the advisor of this forum. Well, she was late for the meeting, but that didn’t matter much since she was only an advisor, and we couldn’t exchange words sicne she sat at the back, and I had to be at the front with the director since I was the secretary. Later during the group binding, we sat together, but still we couldn’t say anything to one another, except questions and answers about the forum. I noticed that she avoided eye contact. I don’t know why. And during the report session, I saw that she whispered to Abg Azhari that she’s going back, and I looked at her, trying to get eye contact, but no, she just went straight out the door, without a single say to me. And I turned to the window and saw another friend, who happened to be a co -chairperson in the society. They are best friends now I see. I didn’t think much at the moment since a committee was discussing his report. I thought that maybe these two friends would be at HS canteen, as usual, or at least, sms me. Stupid and Naive Me. No there were no messages from either of them. After the meeting ended, I thought of going to HS, but at the silence and darkness of campus, I couldn’t bring myself to walk to HS, instead went straight back home. I actually prayed that these two friends wouldn’t be angry at me for not looking for them. How stupid and naive.

I found out today from this v.president friend, that the both of them went straight back home!! The reason was they being tired!! OK, but without any word to me??!!! Like I’m nobody to them now?? Well, yes I am a nobody, I have no position in the society, right?? They couldn’t send a stupid little message to say they would be going back first?? They would rather leave me going back alone, in the silence and the darkness?? For a mere tiredness?? Like no one else was tired? I do not know how to react! But eventually my tears flowed as soon as I reach my room. They didn’t wait for me, no message whatsover, like I’m invisible. I guess I am. What am I to do?? Keep on living and faking smiles.