Went back to singapore last wednesday. It was a rather an impromptu decision even though I did set my mind on going back last week. Romo was admitted to the NUH last Thursday. It was a shock of course. A first time in the family after almost to twelve years since my mother gave birth to Khidhir.

Romo was to undergo a procedure, they didn’t call it surgery, something like clearing up one of his arteries in his heart because of a 95% blockage. *sigh* when my mother told me about him having to be admitted and need some immediate job done to his heart, I really couldn’t understand it at all and I was thinking what is really happening, the most dreaded question was what will happen to him??!! This is heart issues going on, the very source of life! What is going to happen? How serious was it?? But Ratu wouldn’t say anything except asking me to come back as soon as possible. I had two tests last week and tones of things to be done, but I left them all in a faze, can’t think too much at that time except to come home, and I almost cried when Aili offered me a hug. Thanks cuz.

On Thursday, me and my parents went to NUH, the quietness of the hospital awed me and at the same time, just wondering the hundreds of people who have gone through this. Romo was amazingly calm. He always is but I know he was deeply worried and almost scared, his silence was different than usual. Ratu was trying to put on a brave face. I’m glad I was there to be with them. I thought I could be brave for Ratu, but it turned I was the one shedding tears! I hugged Romo before he entered the surgery room. I could not imagine my strong and controlled Romo was almost helpless then and his life might depend on how his life spirit wills him to. Even though it was a minor procedure, the risks were serious, it could be a heart attack or relapse. That was unimaginable. I do not know where my usual strength was, I was really scared. Two hours went by. It felt forever. At least me and Ratu had each other.

We got news that he was out in a ward and allowed to visit him. It was such a huge relief that his procedure went without any complications at all. He was smiling when we met him. It felt like he needed to see us to know that he was well and alive. It was one of his smiles that I will not forget. It was also a smile to assure us that everything’s ok now. He’s still here for us. I needed that. Thank ALLAH for loving us.

Romo was well enough that he was only in for a day. And he was already up and about, only he shouldn’t be moving around too much and he has to be strict with his meals, no more cholesterol or too much oily and sugary food. Luckily he quitted smoking!

I did not let my mind wandered too much into the future and we prayed for the best for the family. I pray that we can still be together for as long as we can and I have my dreams and aims to fulfil, things I want to do for my family. I pray that ALLAH will give me the chance to realize those dreams.