It’s worst because I have no exams at the moment, just counting the days to my last paper, even then, I might not be able to go back as soon as possible because I’ll be going for a meeting for that baktisiswa programme….and I’m just making myself busy reading and doing things for mrc like writing out a proposal for an event, or designing a new letterhead, or clearing out the papers and letters into a proper file, still without minute meetings,and having said that, minute meetings for assiium are so done, but sorry no money to print them all out. : ) I could have done it in the mahallah office, but rather unethical to do it. conscious!!

and I think I have a crisis with myself. Did I do something wrong?? Have I been wrong?? Am I cruel and the villain while everybody else are victims. Have I been a biieetch? My silence is a problem? when all I wanted to do was to just shut up and don’t think about it? It’s those tense people laa. I wish I could just shut these thoughts out. Stop being problematic or just difficult or troublesome. I wish I can just stop. And act like it used to be in the old days. Am I just full of spite and envy? I know we can’t always satisfy others. Is it them or is it me? My blaseness and forgetfulness aren’t helping me much here.

and so this is life. I’m still on the journey of finding myself.