first and foremost i had planned to write out an assignment last night but exhaustion took over and i woke up at 6 am with a jolt. so i manage to write out a few lines of it and was praying that another of my groupmates had managed to type at least some of them…well we had to submit it today during class at 11 am.

But alas, she slept the night too, i don’t blame her at all, i mean i slept too. and she really did look exhausted last night during our discussion. so at 10 am we met and did some LAST MINUTE additions to the assignments. completed it half-heartedly by 11 and handed it in. but God had foreordained that the lecturer was down with fever and the class ended after just half an hour. though i already handed in the group assignment, we had the smart thinking to revised the whole thing and made more presentable editions . it took 2 and a half hour. this time we did it with our hearts and souls. many people come and go at hs, but i just couldn’t bother at all. a few caught my attention, the rest are just flying by my sight.

and at the moment of stress, i have to mention that not everything is within my control, i can’t help but to miss out a few things in mind, and i can’t take care of everything and everyone. pardon me but i’m just not perfect. i apologise if there are those who doesn’t know about programmes and stuffs. seriously, it slipped off my mind. but then, when an exco printed out more of the handbills, and you know what??? somebody made a plane out of it and threw it at us. it so happened that the table were occupied by excos. WHAT THE FUCK!!! how unfeeling could that be?? i shouldn’t take this seriously but somehow i’m so taken aback and disappointed big time that this happened. THE HANDBILL COST MONEY, for GOD’s sake!! one side, some are disppointed they didn’t get the handbills, and at the other side, some are just wasting paper and made paperplanes out of it!!! i can’t bear that at the moment. pardon me but i must be in a stressful mode now.

and i have been through a hellish day today. i got my deviant paper back and it was a big disappointment!! i read hard on that stupid subject. my semester break was indulged with reading it and i got a mere just pass for it!!! and some poeple who claimed to be not ready and writing shits managed to get a full mark for it! WHAT THE FUCK! i tried hard, LORD. and the lecturer was forever downgrading us who didnt do well. could you just stop it, you are making me feel more worst than i already am!! For God’s sake, stop being a sceptic. seriously am feeling down to the core because of the things he said. God, i’m disappointed. disappointed. i feel more stupid than ever. i need to let the tears out but it’s just not now.

well, i managed to complete two assignments in one day, just finished another just now on evangelization, a study on the usage of music in missionaries. but alas, i have a meeting at econs at 10pm!!! they wanted to distribute the posters for the archery programme. i had enough for the day!!! and have yet to read up for tomorrow’s malaysian society. seriously, i had been in campus since 8 am in the morning!! overtimed workers get paid for their extra workload!!! and i’m sick for God’s sake.

am. taking. it. with. an. open. heart. i’m. just. trying….too.hard.