plain tired.

first day of work!!! am so relieved that the first day went well, but i have to say, at some hours, i got bored. well, first day is more introductory, who’s who…where’s where…what’s what…ok ok. seriously nothing much, other than i had to help the admin staff (who’ll be leaving for maternity leave and will be taking over her job for that period, soon) to call mosques regarding a meeting this friday..hmm, least fave job, but oh well, something to pass the day.

job’s pretty much easy….at the moment la! the bosses are pretty much ok, and they allow me to just get used to the surrounding (yup, really have to, will by flying up and down the 4 flight of stairs!!), some filing needed and other Alive reviews that i have to do. i realised i’ll be doing two main jobs, the administration and the Alive thingy. pretty much keeping a positive stance. got to be grateful and fortunate that the bosses are ok, and there’s two iiu seniors, kak zubed and kak halimah in the same office, so am not alone la. but..EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. hmm, that’s the advice my head told me. i really hope that the hard experiences i had had in IIUM will prepare me for these. come on Seri, you can do it!!!

apart from being tired, i suddenly felt melancholic and…sadness somewhere in my heart? i don’t know why. is it the age that’s saddening me? or is it the thought that sometimes i was eager and sincere to remember others, tried to send out the best, only to receive mediocrity and meagre thoughts in return?? it’s a shame to admit that i was hoping for a certain character to remember this date, but i guess the character forgot, oh hey, plain uncaring yeah? thus the promise will stand. tired la seh. don’t try to contact whatsoever. i don’t know who you are anymore. that has always been my problem. i tried much, but others don’t seem to care so what the heck.
does it have to matter?? i mean what’s a birthday..and what’s me being a year older got to do with other people, right? it’s a good thing that my parents never taught us to be extravagant in celebrating birthdays, like presents and parties, we are grateful enough with remembrance.
i should not be bothered….. it must be the age.

heh, i was reminded of my birthday last 2 years. and how a birthday wish could be just a passing remark. meaningless. especially when it came from someone supposedly to be ‘something’.

reality check : grateful for this gift of life. trying. oh yeah, i must be on my way to ‘that girl period of the month’
that’s why i’m talking crap.