first of all
one of the pc got zonked out one day. and this one of the pc got to be the one which i KEPT ALL MY PICTURES IN!!!! all the pictures taken during iiu life, with friends, with assiium, and whatnots!! three years of hardwork– of posing for one pic to another, of collecting from one friend to another, of transferring from thumbdrive to thumbdrive to pc, from one msn download to another!!! AARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! yes my friends. all those histories and memories, just went pufffffhhh in ONE NIGHT. camaner ni???? mana nak carik gambar2 tu balik??? there’s like hundreds of it!!

makanya, mungkin mengharap simpati dari rakan-rakan yang bersama-sama posing dan mengollect gambar2 tu semua~ when will that ever be???!!!!

ok rileks. tapi gambar banyak giler! ok, shush. hek hek hek…gambar~~

the day i felt like a failure, not so much la, nak kena pelangkung saying oneself a failure??!! i’ve gone so far, just to say i’m a failure. it’s more of the day I THINK TOO MUCH.

i always have too much to think after i teach this teens advance class in annahdhah. some recollections of all the things i said to the teens, and applying those words to my life. an dtoday, while i was walking home, i saw three different kinds of malay groups in the neighbourhood.

one – group of skater kids, two- looks like a young family, two brothers playing football with a little brother, and two more girls, i assume their sisters and three- another group of cycling kids.

i glanced at them, but then immediately looked away, as if to avoid eye contact with them. lest they thought i’m staring. i just wanted to smile at them and tell them, hey we’re neighbours. but i didn’t. and here i was just after teaching, feeling some goodness aura, and i couldn’t bring myself to smile to these neighbours, for all i know, they are the ones who need the care and concern. i felt like i did not do them some favour. i felt like i’m deliberately pushing them away from the society. i felt like i’ll be held accountable for seeing and doing nothing…. i wanted so much to help. i wanted so much to tell. but i didn’t do the simple act of smiling to them. so what am i doing at all, all this while?