i want my donuts!! and have a good time! or spend the whole day at cafe@library and read a good book throughout. for at the moment, i don’t really have the mood to be happy about anything.

in a crappy mood and craznoks everywhere. it must be that time of the month, but hey…am exhausted, so little time to do so many things! so many things to think about and so little time to really spare the time and think it through, so many questions and i suddenly find myself helpless, my brain’s not working at this very moment. and all i could think of why would they even think of this things?? why make life difficult by asking these questions? (remember the story of Musa a.s and his people, when they were ordered to simply find a cow, and they go on asking question after question, about the cow, that it became harder for them to find one?? i was reminded of the story throughout skimming through the questions)

and i was told to answer them, at the very minute i was so putting my mind to doing something else which is equally important and running for deadline, dateline, whatever!

and here i am stuck in a hole. because i couldn’t think properly, and someone else in this house got angry with someone, practically screaming at this someone, when hei, suddenly everybody is at fault!! hello??? i just returned home? so ok fine, i’ll do the chores the very next minute i stepped home. would that be….hmm…fine with everyone??

i wanted to get back to answering those questions. but i just don’t have the mental energy to. but would i be forgiven for being mentally drained? No. because nobody cares. because everybody has their own problem. …so why would i be helping someone?

Lord, forgive me for being this way, i know i shouldn’t be. maybe i should sleep on it. and wake up to a new better day.

so help me Lord. give me the strength to help them. insya Allah.