thank God it’s friday they say…what the heck..to me, there is no version of weekend for me. i have no idea why time flies like so fast!

i was just searching around this vast internet on some things (which is not for fun…for work) and then i realised it already took 2 hours!!

and then i want to read my books. and then i want to update blogs, especially my teens’ blog, which i never got around to do it. kesian my teens, nantikan takde idea nak buat apa for their project. (oh ok i got an idea what to do!!)

and then this mind works at random, when i want it to work, it doesn’t! and when i don’t want to think about work…there’ll be all these ideas coming up, and when i thought i was sleepy, off the laptop, got to bed, and then i couldn’t sleep! because suddenly it’s wide awake! haha~ and i am on the ‘quest’ of turning around my biological clock local time. it’s so following US time…

Run Seri Run!

but all in good tidings. it’s just that we are so driven for perfection. driven just to have some bit of cash. driven to do so many things. driven to prove to, not to other people, but to your ownself…that yes, you really can do it. yes, you really can overcome all these hardships, challenges, depression, get through it all, and emerge in victory.

i seem to have this fear that what i do is going to make some impact on the whole community and one wrong step, it’s going to ruin all those hard work. it’s a huge amanah which i sometimes feel, i’m not the one to do this. it’s scary, really. i keep having to remind myself to just do it and don’t fall.

i’ve to get used to this rhythm of life. i honestly never thought it would be this way, and life is not a bed of blue roses, Seri.

be strong. believe.

i think i drink too much iced lemon tea. (ok, tak penting…;))

after a certain chat, i don’t know how to chat anymore. (tak faham? it’s ok, you don’t have to) and after a certain blogpost, i don’t know how to blog. i’m afraid i’ve become sharptongued and forgot to think before i write or talk. i think that’s the reason why i make that choice to be quiet a long time ago.

and yes, i had a hard time trying to change a certain multiply site because it looked ‘amateurish’. going through from one template to another and spending time just to manipulate the template, searching for a nice picture for header, editing here and there…and then i found one good multiply template, but of course, the picture header is just inappropriate for this site, so i had to change it to one which i had to edit the size, and put on a disclaimer somewhere of its original owner. just that, i changed the pic header to another..

now, the template designer mentioned to drop a word or two that we’re using her template, so i did. i was all praise for her work and thank god she designed this template. and what do we get???
she dropped a bomb on the guestbook..saying no Editing allowed and asked me to put on the original before i got to her list of jockers! what the heck is ‘jockers’?

oh, you mean, jokers? penting nak wrong spelling? but i don’t understand. i thanked her, which i assumed is an act of disclaimer as well. and i just change the pic header (now even the pic also i put a disclaimer!) why did she have to ‘shout’ that way?

ni lah, orang kalau dah bijak pandai. sombong.
now i’m thinking of paying her (never mind she’s a filipino emo teen), like i’m buying the template from her….and then i realise, the bl@*^%y money’s not in la!
and then i thought now it’s very important for me to design something original, or ask someone to design..or i can always buy a Photoshop or Illustrator software and design my own pictures and images and templates THE WAY I WANT IT!!
and then i remember…repeat: the bl@*^%y money’s not in!

it’s a month delayed ok! and i got to pay up the persons who’s been blogging for me also. and i might get a software at the IT fair or anywhere for that matter.
but the cash is not in…and what hurts is that, some people are having holidays~

and i can’t even belanja my adik2, who’s been so good staying at home, never whining to go here nor there, never bugging to buy this buy that. never complaining. and thank lord nuri’s got some school stuffs and cca, and edid was ever willing to attend a Teens aL.I.V.E. HP, and siti’s just content surfing wikipedia all day long.
i love them so.

and i can’t even bring myself to ask…
what a loser.

be strong. believe.