i was just thinking and remembering that this same night, 6 years ago, i made a turning point. and i yearn to have that feeling again. is tonight the night?

6 years ago, i made a very difficult decision. but this night have helped me to pull through. for i know there’ll always Be There. i remember this night had given me strength. truly.

and days ago i had to make a difficult decision. again. and i understood the moment i voiced out my decision, there are going to be challenges. there are going to be hardships. which might just pull me down. i understood that well enough. even if i were to choose the other. the same rule applies. i know it’s going to be hard. i just wasn’t expecting it to be rushing down on me.

for every hardship there is relief, seri, for every hardship there is relief.

but maybe tonight is the night?

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aside from that, after so long not talking about the friend, i happened to hear two different news about the friend within the span of 7 days. neither good nor bad, coz i don’t care..anymore.
heard the friend is getting engaged soon. and then heard the friend was sentenced to a month’s jail. a world’s apart of news, heh?

and now i began to not understand why things happened, why the friend had to be a …friend…back in those days? i had always believed the friend more, despite all those ‘stories’. always had.

and now i began to think, for all those ambiguous words you said to me, friend. i guess there is one truth.

“you’re right, friend, i don’t deserve you.”

thank you for not being a friend anymore. coz it hurts less this way.