how can you know when it’s your time? somehow a loss of life affected me much that till this night, i still think about it, and the deceased still pictured quite clearly in mind, despite not having known her enough.

is it because i had been too happy that the news came as a shock…utter suddenness, a reminder that happiness is HIS and can always be taken back.
is it because of the realisation that i couldn’t get to know her as a family.
is it because i keep remembering to the day when she had been the one who handed me his gift to me.
i feel happy waiting for the day but i cant help thinking she wont be there. and why should i be rejoicing?

it hurts to know they are pained by this loss. and me, my family, we are deeply saddened by it.
although life has to move on. and pray Lord will help us all.

but you know what, i can never stop thinking that my most loved family members are not here to see me, see us. they have been gone for so many years but we can never forget them and will always miss them. i still remember those innocent years when i thought they will live for as long as i am but had them taken away. never stop remembering. it’s the only comfort.

and right now it’s crossed emotions running parallel. because it’s all happiness and grief at the same time. it pained me to see and hear him in sadness, but this pain i cannot control.

(and i can’t sleep for thinking about the orientation in a few hours’ time and the load of things to be done…work in non-ender do they?!)
and a meet up with two of my petals is great to relive those memories. thank you babes and i’m so going to get used to being driven back home by qzaimah!! hehe.

please pray everything went well, what’s with the first week of classes and THE day and whatnots.

i.m.y