Today has been a better day for me. Woke up with a slight headache but much better than last night where every part of me aches.

Received my Science of Qur’an’s mid term paper and got just below passing mark! But I’m determined to do better for the final exams which is in ten days…I hope that’s more enough to cover all the chapters. I did my Intro to Comm’s quiz later in the afternoon and I hoped I did better than the previous ones. There was a sudden special quiz too and I hoped I will get that 5% for my finals. Hope I did well in that special quiz. I’m hoping for the better for Comm’s exams which is in four days’ time! For the better for the best!

There’s going to be an AGM this evening, whatever that stands for, for the ASSIIUM which stands for Association of Singapore Students of International Islamic University of Malaysia. This AGM, is to elect new members for the mainboard and executive committee. It’s a scary thought as well as anticipating to find out who’s going to be the ‘leaders’ for Singapore students. I can’t even imagine what the future holds for them. Real scary because of the responsibility and commitment it demands. And it needs people of real charisma to be one. Not just any one of us.

Personally, I don’t see any of us who are fit to be one. The present mainboard members are one of the best. But maybe there are people who can do the job. I won’t say names. I’m going to this AGM to join in the excitement!

I don’t think I can handle it. Not now I guess. I need to do better for the next semester and I don’t think I can handle my time for studies, archery and any job that demands too much of my time.

I’m going for the better.

‘better’ ticker counter: 6

Went to see my lecturer this morning to have a look at my answer sheets from the midterm exam and quizzes. I did average but I know I can do much better!! I know I can. I’m so used to being among the best that I cannot settle for average. I mean if other people can, why can’t I? I have to be the best! It’s a need.

I think I know what went wrong. Maybe I spent too much time with friends wasting a lot of precious time. I’ve been following them, playing stupid Uno which I don’t know what I gained from playing it. Watching stupid vcds. Talking about not so good things. Talking about people’s mistakes not realising that maybe we are the ones making mistakes. I guessed I have sinned a lot and this is the ‘retribution’. Now my time is running out, I have a lot to catch up. And at this moment, being alone s what I needed most. I appreciate their presence a lot but too much wasted time. I cannot handle that!

To the Lord above, please help me. I am not going to disappoint anyone. I have to be the best.

The trip to Putrajaya went well. Despite the heat and a bit too much waiting, everything went well and our time was planned real nice. We even got to return to campus earlier than planned.

Personally, I am very grateful to the participants for their patience and cooperation throughout the trip. Except for a few flaws such as the unair-conditioned bus, though they do complained, but they tolerated it, only one foreign student made such a big deal out of it. My perceptions towards this foreign student have changed, and he happened to be my senior’s boyfriend. All this while he was a cool person, but now I know, he’s a very fussy person. blaa.

The other participants were great. The Islamic Art Museum was the best as there were great artifacts, replicas of great artistic mosques around the world, weapons, manuscripts of the Qur’an. It was great. I couldn’t resist myself and bought three notebooks and four bookmarks. They were beautiful!

Putrajaya’s Seri Perdana Complex was a bit of a bore. It’s only the Prime Minister’s official house where he received international visitors and other political members of the world. All that there was to see were furnitures. But I did feel like a princess for a while. Putrajaya is a nice place anyway. Alhamdulillah everything went real well. I am glad that all the preparations are paid off. Alhamdulillah.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to get myself involved in any programme committee next semester. My studies have suffered enough and I cannot let it happen again. I have to be among the best. I really have. That’s the main agenda I’m here for. So help me God.

Woke up this morning feeling that I still didn’t have enough rest.

Last night had a meeting for the programme the society I’m in is having. It’s an educational trip to Putrajaya and The Islamic Art Museum this Saturday. We had been preparing and having meetings since last month and so many things had happened during that period of time. It even became somewhat a turning point to a friendship I once had. Really, things happened and changed too fast and I can’t believe that time do fly fast.

And this morning, I almost got furious with two of them and ironically, I just promised my Ratu that “I’m gonna feel good” today. Me and Qadar had agreed to meet up at 9.30 am to go to campus together and look up for a nice pic, preferably Putrajaya for the bookmarks she’s giving away for the participants of the trip. Despite feeling terribly lazy, I woke up, got myself ready…..only to find out she’s still asleep!! (She’s just next door). And she woke up, as though she’s getting ready……waited for almost half an hour….and I found out she’s washing her clothes!!! Hello??!! We’re late here!! But that’s ok~ I’ll go by myself and we’ll meet at campus later….

So I happened to have to pass something to another friend in another block. I thought I was late….but a few missed calls and sms-es…..with no reply from her!!! Waited under the sun for another half hour. I’m almost to just burst out there.

Patience lost, I went on my own business. I had always have to wait for people and sometimes people take for granted. I always had, since high school. I know now I won’t wait for people anymore. Such a waste of precious time!!

And so again, I remind myself of my promise to Ratu, smile, listened to The Reason -Hoobastank, and my good mood’s back. The day went as I had planned.

Moral of the story- Never wait for people. Sometimes it’s better to be alone and do things at your own sweet time. People don’t understand us and we’ll end up having to follow their every steps. God I hate that. We don’t have to be stuck to friends ALL the time no matter how important they are to us.

Back in IIUM after a four days break in Singapore. And that was after almost to four weeks in campus non-stop business with school work and a project I’m involved in which I was not that enthusiastic but do enjoyed the whole preparations. Still it was distracting me from my studies and I’m dead worried.

I just went through a mid term exam for Sciences of Quran which I know I sucked hell in it and a 2nd quiz for Communication which would be damned easy if only I had prepared well! I am supposed to be a well-prepared person!!! I know I’m gonna sucked!

What made the day almost bad was I got my Intro to Comm’s mid term and 1st quiz results – I passed but it could have been better!! And to know that a friend is doing so great made me stress!! All that I can do now is to start studying for real for the exams and maybe get a full mark, only then can I have some vengeance~

God, I know I can do it.

Haven’t been to archery these few days. Have been slacking but time doesn’t permits, in another way, just plain lazy~

And something or someone just never leaves the mind…..