i have been sitting at this very exact pose for a few hours now. contemplating on whether to catch up on work, or do a blogpost, or simply watch another of park seo joon’s series….. the latter of the three won over and i am watching, or rather re-watching She Was Pretty for the …hmmm… i lost count. my only rationale was i had been watching it through Viu, but then it suddenly became available in Netflix, so why not increase some view rates through Netflix as well, huh?

please do not judge, i woke up early today (to my own perception of early). had breakfast with hubbylove, and did a bundle of chores to start the new year! it feels good, i think i missed doing some chores nowadays, because i had a tremendous amount of blaséness these days and some inexplicable form of what i perceived as pseudo-anxiety.

i know in the back of my mind the long list of tasks i need to do work wise, but i feel stuck and was not sure where to start, what to complete first. ended up, i ‘reasoned’ out to myself that i do not need to do anything at the moment, it can wait, nothing too urgent, but deep in my heart, that flutter of ‘God! i need to complete this now!’ is always there. and then i cower again, and slip into weariness. sigh, when is this teenage angst going to end??!  or gasp!  is it middle age crisis already?! i keep telling myself it is ok to slow down at this moment, because you can foresee there’s no slowing down in 2019. for about a few seconds, the self agrees before guilt strikes.

i want to move away from doing any bestnine2018 or resolution post 2019 on a new year’s day, I’m going to be indie and take my time doing it, or not do at all, or semi-do it. i am also putting an IG-detox on myself for the next two days maybe. that has been somewhat a self imposed tradition for the past 6 years or so. well, i have issues, forgive me. and i don’t want to hurt myself, or others, by scrolling through photos i don’t want to know. the photos or updates will still be there when next i recover from the detox. so no harm not being up-to-date or live-updated. I’m happier this way. this excludes my girlfriends though. but they usually share in wa groups and then we’ll squeal and scream emoji style! while i still be zoned out in my workspace.

welcome 2019. be nice.

ps: when did my blog keeps on featuring seo joon’s face already?! what are you? 15?!

pps: promised myself to start blogging p.r.o.p.e.r.l.y soon. wait, is that a resolution?