i would like to start the first post of the year with some good comments that is a source of motivation for this real hard semester. After the new year holiday, came back here and met the lecturer first thing in the morning, yeah literally, went to deviant class despite the exhaustion of the night journey, but then can’t risk getting bad remarks from the A-lecturer. And it was not a bad idea meeting lecturers at their office. ok what’s the point of telling this? haha!!

last weekend was THE highlight. went out with the friends to masjid india. I was looking out for some nice materials for the MRC’s dress. THANKS TO THE GIRLS for their comments and definitely NICE tastes for the materials. I got four choices after hours of looking. Have yet to ask the MRC themselves what they think of it. Other than the PRICE, should be ok lah.
Oh yeah, I have to comment on Aili’s dress that day. She was THE GORGEOUS girl that day. You should wear more like that ‘cuzz, brings out your personality real well, Cisco guy would like that very much hehe. too bad Qzai couldn’t join us.
Later we went to Bukit Bintang, saw some ok-looking punk rockers ala My chemical romance. Yeah. we can be attracted to bad guys sometimes huh? the time spent at KLCC was one of the best. Childhood lost…NOT indeed!! I had fun. Thanks guys for the memorable day!

Well ending on a bad note, I kept bumping to that crazy person!! I hated it! Bumped into her like twice already a few days ago at the mahallah. She was here a while ago. I know she noticed me, even though she acted as though she didn’t. Didn’t anyone tell you you are a BAD ACTOR??!! She spoiled my mood, stupid bugger!! Go play some place else ah!!

Whatever, I want to email my ratu in a while hehe.

You know I was thinking….

How people can sometimes feel paranoid and seems to think that everybody else is blaming them or judging them? For example, you did something which might be out of control, like falling in love with a guy, out of certain circumstances…then people happen to know about it, well maybe they might have their opinions about it but most of the time, they will just forget about it, much less talk about it again.

But then yeah, the character which was talked about might seem to feel guilty and paranoid and starts to isolate oneself from others just because they themselves know they might have done something out of the ordinary and FEEL and THINK that people are just talking behind their back. I have something to say to them: what the heck…yes we talked, and then we forget about it, we do have other things to think about! so why are you taking it so seriously?? You’re just being paranoid, my dear. We never judge, but you think we did.

and oh yeah, there was this incident: the ‘hottest’ couple in campus broke up, we didn’t know about it initially but then things got very OBVIOUS without spoken words, you know like the sudden disappearance of cutesy testimonials in friendster, and the sudden rarity of seeing the couple together and the sudden change in the guy’s attitude.

So yeah, we found that out without any paparazzi, so yeah we talked within close friends, and forgot about it the next day….when suddenly some of us got accused of spreading rumours.. what rumours, for God’s sake?? and heh yeah add up a ‘press conference’ that nobody asked for from the exgirlfriend. You guys broke up, so what? Well, what can I say…when you’re attached, don’t leave your friends and be friendly ah!

It’s sad to think how foolish some people can be when they are only trying to justify their deeds and maybe there is just a little speck of guilty and uneasiness and attribute those to the don’t-know-anything people around, how cruel can that be? Or maybe there is anger of what happened in their lives and there’s no channel to vent the anger except to put the blame on others. What unfortunate luck to be the ‘others.’ How foolish can they be?

I would like to quote a good friend and leader who said in speech about ATTITUDES. I totally agree with him about how our own attitudes determine our relationship with other people. Our bad attitude will repel others, otherwise people will treat us as good as we treat them.

If you leave people, people will leave you. It’s karma, we say. But I say, it’s your own conscious and intention.

Lord, save us from misdeeds and increase us in knowledge.

2006 is ending in approximately 24 hours.

one day to go for a new year 2 double 0 7. Most people would be listing out their achievements or the events that created an impact in their lives. Or already writing out some new resolutions. Me? I quit having resolutions… I’m living life one at a time and do the thinking along the way. I’m still trying to be a better muslim, a better thinker and doer, just be more efficient. I’m growing older and maturity is far from my life dictionary. Still much to learn.

But I would just like to reminisce the beautiful year I have led and be grateful for the memories and lessons I got.

First and foremost, my studies have bring much joy despite the inefficient service in IIU. Persetankan dulu their weaknesses. They did give me my education after all.
Dr Wan Sabri, Dr Kamar, Dr Haslina (miss her), Dr Anis Malik, Dr Fatimah. Am always in awe of them and their knowledge. Allah bless them. And Alhamdulillah, I managed to achieve one dream I’ve been aiming for last semester, Sem 1 06/07 which came very much as a surprise thinking of the things that I had to do having responsibilities that I had to deal with at the same time handling my studies. It really is a sweet surprise.

Becoming v/president for Assiium. Mixed feelings and anxiety…9o of us and still not very easy to unite them. I’ve learnt to accept that fact and not to worry too much on them, as long as they are out of trouble, learning well and achieve whatever it is they want, I’m satisfied with that knowledge. Am proud to share the exco position with my cousin aili. She has the passion and willingness to work. For me myself, I still have to learn how to be a good leader, haron is fantastic. And am so going to make the newsletter materialise!

Becoming president of mrc halimah. Mixed feelings and it started out with a great disappointment when old mrcs suddenly refuse to stay on and unfeelingly let me do all the searching for the new mrc. the lamest reason ever, ‘mak tak kasi.’ I will remember to despise reasons after reasons, as far as I can take it. And the team that I have now, they are still learning and maybe I’m expecting too much from them. But I guess I had been a bit too lenient and complacent with them. I have to strike some chord in them and make them work!

And have to add the Pahang trip. I don’t enjoy it that much, all the to-n-fros for dealings with the authorities there, and their attitudes, that opened up my eyes alot. And having my foster family, miss them and yet to pay a visit again. Anyhow, the trip doesn’t come as a sweet memory, I don’t know why.

Well, this have to be added, the cost for being a president…I got the misfortune of meeting a crazy person and the big mistake of having this crazy person as my vice president. It’s an all time experience of getting played on and betrayed. Talking about this and the thought of this crazy person, I wish I could throw up in front of her and let all the gooey stuff stuck to her face. I’m cruel yes but I can’t help it with what I’ve been through and it’s all because of her stupidity and unfeeling shit. So I’ll be unfeeling. She doesn’t know who she’s dealing with.

Another disappointment was the dream down the drain, I couldn’t maintain our number one last year for university sports carnival, other than the first spot for marching. It was a great disappointment. I don’t know what went wrong, but it happened and I have to accept that.

Becoming asst.director II for ummatic week’s closing ceremony. Thanks to my friend tawfique for giving me the opportunity to be one. It’s a wonderful experience, dealing with students from different countries, and for once got to realise how troublesome they can be, but wonderful all the same. As for tawfique, he’s a good leader, command respect and negotiable. but too good for some who will take advantage of him. He’ll go far I guess.

My father, went through a bypass operation, I was crying when he went into the emergency room. the hours wait was nerve wrecking and I was glad I was by my mother’s side and a hold of strength for each other. That wasn’t enough, I was spared the shock that my father actually got into an accident last 20th december! Thank God, he got minor injuries.
Whatever it is, I’m truly grateful that he’s still here with us. We need him still.

I’m grateful for the life, always, and the memories. The friends I have especially, not to mention names, all of them are a cheer to my life, even though some may have fall, and I just found out something from a close friend which made me even more disappointed, but I guess that’s how life is, there will be people who would stand by us and others who are hypocritical in friendship. I have to say I’m grateful to some who have accepted me as I am and a comfort when I’m in distress. I’ll remember the night with the tikars, and the fantastic video clip we managed to produce. One of the coolest and will never be tired of watching it again and again. The raya video and the tribute to superheroes dance. I had fun no doubt.

It’s an amazing 2006! Am up for 2007 and maybe found someone who will be there for me, I’m waiting for a pair of sparkling eyes who would look down on me with love and care. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I guess it’s the phase I have to go through, you know when friends are all attached and even engaged, not saying getting married sooner or later, or already married!! So yeah, of all the achievements that I may gain in 2007, I hope to meet the Onlyone.
So peeps, pray for me!! I don’t sound desperate am I??!! ; )

call me whatever but am really hyped up to start blogging on this brand new pc equipped with broadband, which means I can surf the net everytime I’m back home!! Yes this matters because it’s been a long time since I can surf from the comfort of my home. Howe sweet home indeed. i’ll be having around four days to surf till my head spins!

life’s been pretty good, had my first test this morning and it’s quite nerve-wrecking. Managed to do but not expecting any good marks. But I really need to score some good grade and hope that this killer lecturer NOT going to spoil everything! hey, now is not the time to talk of stressful things.

will definitely spend these four day break with laughter and stress free!!

The days have been good. Met lecturers for consultation, which is becoming a habit this semester and missing my previous lecturers, wich I could meet them once in while. And loving reading at the moment. Nothing much to update but just to test whether blogging is still allowed or not….

Contemplating whether to send a major character a birthday wish or not. What should be done? What should be done when there is this someone you know in a twinkle of an eye, like suddenly becoming close friends after so long just exchanging glances. Or maybe I thought it was real friendship and the things been said, are those just slips of the tongue? The emails, were those just a creation of a mind? Having no meaning in every word said and written. And without any warning, things seemed to change…there’s this continuing silence, I’m avoiding one, one’s avoiding me without any real hatred but something hangs in the air. Oh yeah.. these are all my imagination, aren’t they? And still missing those friendly times…

And so should I go ahead and send one or keeping quiet, knowing even a message might not rival any other messages that one might receive, maybe even a call from a certain someone was all that one could ever wish for. And the thought of it hurts me. I can’t read one like I used to, and one can’t read me like one used to. I used to know what one’s hiding, one even said one couldn’t seem to hide things from me. and one always seemed to know, like that silence one sensed from across the world. I guess I’m asking for too much. and the memories always hurts. So can my Only One please hurry and save me from this misery?

note: one and Only One might be totally different people.

ok does this going to work??