There’s a few things that I need to relate here before getting ready for the next exam which will fall on this sunday.

1. MYTH exam

It was ok, so far, after spending days reading for it!! Still it’s not that easy writing the answers because I had the PLEASURE of sitting at the very back of the hall, just next to the door, bye-bye…. And I can’t believe the number of people coming in and out of that door! It’s EXAM HOUR, for God’s sake!! There were like people going to the toilet, and the invigilators coming in and out, it wouldn’t matter at all, if it hadn’t keep CRREEAAAKKKKING everytime someone pushes/pulls the stupid door!! TWO DOORS at that!! It took me everything to not shout SHUDDUUPP!! one of the invigilators noticed my uneasiness and had the good heart of letting one of the door opened, but still the other door creeakked!!! And starting to 30 minutes before the hour ends, more people left the hall, thus more noise! Thus, seriously I could not concentrate in my answers, I almost gave up along the way. It was nerve-wrecking!!! NEVER TO GET A SEAT BESIDE THE DOOR. At 5 pm, NINE sections which amounts up to 500 students left the hall, and obviously, they were to pass me, it’s an AVALANCHE. I wasted almost to ten minutes, just letting them out, the NOISE is uncontrollable. I wish I could stand up and say ‘Shut the F^^*k UP!!!’ but of course that’s just mythical thinking, it doesn’t happen.

All in all, myth was ok, the questions were quite hard, I’m hoping for Dr wan’s generosity in marking. Please, with the patience I had to bear sitting beside the door. It’s hard.

Two more papers to go~

2. Stupid person disorder.

I had the most difficult days, amongst the exams, between trying to concentrate in my reading, at the same time, having to deal with some stupid person disorder. I’ve been relating this story to so many people, I’m getting sick of it! But I’m glad to say that this ordeal ended. Remember I did say somewhere here there’s someone crazy out there who’s been messaging me, telling bad things about the vp, and the vp herself receiving those messages, and it doesn’t stop at us, but started disturbing the ex-vp of mrc 2004/2005. It’s like vp-plague. vp04/05 & vp05/06(that was me) & vp06/07 getting disturbed from a crazy person….after all that we went through, me and vp 04/05 thinking so hard trying to find who the stupid culprit is and me trying to save vp06/07 from fitnahs (well that was what I thought!!) AND THE BIGGEST BETRAYAL ever….it was the work of vp 06/07 all ALONG!!! It WAS HER WORK!! I can’t believe someone would actually did this to me. what was she thinking??!!! what was she trying to gain?? we got her to own up with the help of our assistant manager of the mahallah. what’s making it harder to accept was, last friday evening, she owned up without a single air of regret, with that stupid look that she had, the same night, she cam up to my room, telling me that she was not the one who did, then who did? don’t know. why owned up? to stop the mess….so obviously she’s the one doing it. Who does she think i am?? one minute you did, the next you didn’t. What SHIT!! She’s trying to gain sympathy and actually had the nerve to ask about the mrc. You’ve been doing this shit thing all along, and you still want to sak about the mrc?? If it’s important at all to you, you wouldn’t be doing this to me. STUPID.

And she stepped down. MRC cannot work with a LIAR. A BIG LIAR. Simply, gunting dalam selimut. duri dalam daging, talam dua muka..ALL THE SHITS. I’m still hurt, disappointed, angry at this person. Here I am thinking that I want to save her, spare her the embarrassment, having hopes on her thinking she’ll be taking over when I graduate, and this is what happens. I’m truly hurt. But it felt like a burden relieved when all this was over.

WHAT A WEEK! With all the things that’s happening, I wish I’m back home.

And yes, I’m still thinking of someone, of all the questions left unanswered, of all the things that was left unsaid, at the same time, there’s nothing to say…

been back in Singapore for around 10 days for EIDul FITRI!! ok ok, to talk aboutraya seems basi already, other than I got the most prettiest dress and having to spend time with my family, which is the most important people in my life, it’s all i ask for. Nevertheless, this year’s raya best jugak lah, new bed for the sisters, and some new bookshelves and baby of the year..new digital camera..now we can take picture which all 7 of us are in!!! oh yeah, with the 4 decos also!! (decos=kittens)

am now back in iiu, tomorrow will be my first paper, which is muslims’ legacy, been reading it throughout the eid. i hope i will do well, whatsmore, with the class full of smart students…. i hope i’ll do as well as them.
so all the best for me….go seri go!

Of all things that matter in IIUM, one of my sources of entertainment: friendster, has been blocked from IIUM portal!!! Yes, NOWHERE in IIUM can you access to your friendster account! NOWHERE, and I’m beginning to think that the cybercafes at the mahallahs are going to block them up too!!!

The reason that they actually have the time to block friendster from IIUM virtual world was because many of the female students are depicted as totally not their selves in friendster, ie, not wearing scarves, sexy dresses and maybe provoking pictures, and there were also reports that friendster was hacked and pictures were illegally grabbed and abused. But whatabout me? and all the other people who have friendster account of pure sincere intention to stay in contact with friends from around the world?? especially me in trying to keep in touch with rezza or a certain him. Can I live without friendster??

Assignments due tomorrow, I’m 70% done. Left with Al-biruni and goddess from the Islamic perspectives. GO Seri Go, you can do it!!! I didn’t sleep the whole of last night, went straight to class at 10 am, the international group was presenting for Muslim’s Legacy and they were discussing on Ibn Hazm.Thank God, for their interesting and animated presentation, such a new breath of air, after weeks of BORING presentation! I didn’t regret coming to class, though I didn’t get to stay for Tawfique’s turn because i had to run for the next class.

Good news though, been getting good carry marks so far, for intro to economics, population and society’s group work is going to help a little bit, and most unexpected was the carry marks i received for my contemporary issues in islamic thought subject. I got 16/20 for the midterm, 20/25 for the assignment, and 13/15 for presentation. I’m grateful with these since i’ve been completing tasks amongst programmes. Alhamdulillah. Wow, ths is a motivation for completing my assingments!!

And tomorrow am going out to look for shoes and buy a book!!!

yippee

and later going back to Singapore!!!

yippee

2 more days to go….
going back to Singapore!

Hmm… the 3 beautiful things that happened this week:

1. Went to Nasir’s uncle’s beautiful house
2. Received Muslims’ Legacy assignment getting 3 marks lesser than the overall
3. After a big iftar with most of the people, it ended up with only five of us, and that’s unconsciously done.

Pardon me but I have to say that the locals’ presentations bore to the core! And it’s not me alone having this opinion, even the lecturer! Dr Kamar even pointed out how boring the presentation was and she urged all of us to be more interesting as this will bring effects on our da’wah mission, if we are boring then people will assume that the Muslims are boring people!!! And I agree with her. Come on people, show a bit more enthusiasm while presenting please. For the past two weeks I’ve been enduring presentations one after another, coming to class for the sake of attendance and seeking that some interesting topic will be discussed in class, and I’m disappointed. Of course, there are one or two classmates who did great with their presentation, but most of them…. they have such interesting topics, but they SPOILT the interest with their monotonous reading of their text or word by word from the powerpoint slides! People! Wake up!! Have some character. I’m truly disturbed and terribly annoyed with how they present. It’s just that it’s a waste when you have tried so hard looking for the sources and reading and rereading them just to make sense of everything, and on the day you present, you go monotone, no expression, and people don’t understand a word what you’re trying to say even though you’re talking in simple terms, people just couldn’t get what you say because you can’t seem to relate the topic and no eye contact with the audience, since you’re busy READING the text! I want to learn and you spoil it all!

Am truly not saying that I’m such a good presenter, LORD, No…I tried hard too to try and convince people and make my topic interesting, and I always asked people how I did and if there’s any mistakes, I’ll accept and learn from it, and alhamdulillah, people have given encouraging comments and I put them to practice.

And am fortunate that all of my presentations fall on the same week, and I was so in the presentation mode, and built up on my confidence, and reading again all the sources, and discuss with groupmates if it’s a group presentation. I don’t know, but I do not want to bore people and did lots of eye contact, just to see their expression and notice whether they understand what I’m trying to say. And I don’t have prepared scripts, while most of the locals do have and thus they just read. The scripts should be only to help them remember the points they want to discuss, not the WHOLE THING. I wish I can help friends how to present, but I don’t have the formula, and furthermore, I’m not the expert in presentations. I’m learning too. I just hope that people will grow up and realise that they are not in primary school anymore, but in UNIVERSITY and there’s a high level of expectations on uni students. This kinds of presentations are below the standard. People have to realise that when they graduated, they have a mission to accomplish, not mere graduates and find some job, work work work, get married and for the ladies, ended up being housewives, no, there is something else that needs to be done….as the vicegerents. Every existence has its role.

I came across a blogsite named “three beautiful things” and which the author of the blog, a briton, would list out three things that made her day every single day. And reading some of her posts, it’s amazing how the simplest thing would be included in her list, ducks, summer hats, a call from a friend. It made me feel, wow, I should have done this a long time ago. Instead of pondering on the thousands of things that need to be done, I could have open up my eyes and be more attentive to the little things that made me smile each day. It’s such a relaxing blog and made me think how we should be more appreciative and grateful of this life. Life ain’t simple but living is a gift. And as I’ve always said, someone who was burdened with challenges,obstacles, problems…it’s not because of they are cursed or something, but it’s because Allah knows only he/she has the strength and the ability to go through it all. No one else can. And that’s a gift in itself. And that’s what make he/ she unique.

Well, am not going to talk anything philosophical. Not here though.

I need to say that I was very grateful having went out and visit nasir’s uncle at the most elite area Jalan Duta and stepping foot on a GORGEOUS house. Real beautiful two-storey bungalow, nice furnitures, spacious bedrooms, cool air and a small garden at the back of the house + a pond. The family is true blessed!! and the aunt, or mama zu is such a friendly aunt that we got on well within 5 minutes of knowing her. We had iftar at her house, and I can say, we received first class treatement! She’s just like any mothers, fussing over the food and our comfort. We eat as much as we can, delicious sumptuous nasi ayam singapore style, and then ice cream and cakes and tea. My goodness, we’re truly awed with her generousness and yes… a huge amount (to our eyes) of ringgit that she gave to each one of us. Allah blesses them the whole family. And I am blessed to have the chance to spend a day with them. And having the girls along: shasha, aili, qzai, far, k dewi and ilham makes the visit even more memorable, our one regret was not having syah spec there and our thoughts were with her throughout the visit. Am really really touched with mama zu’s warm hospitality. go carrefour~(uncle is the regional director of carrefour).

I guess that’s a beautiful thing that has happened to me.

why the memories??

I have no idea why but I guess it’s the time of the year…and furthermore, I was triggered when I was clearing out my wardrobe and I came across the many notebooks and journals of my past memories. It’s funny some of the posts, and I saw how I grew with my writing and how the styles change as I met new people and did new things. One thing that surprised me most was the volumes of my writing which concentrated on one single focus and it’s the only focus that have shaped my perception on life and may I say, love and friendship. It’s the focus who have been the sole reason for my smiles, laughter, tears even, sweet and not so nice memories. And since when was all this?? It must have been since 2001 that I started writing on this focus, up till the first few semesters in IIU, before I ‘migrated’ totally to blogging.

Where is the focus now? What happened to the focus? It’s still alive and living, near but far, close but a stranger, understood but confused, and it’s the memories that’s keeping it alive, there were hundreds of questions left unanswered, real but ignored, as though, we’re just living through the days, knowing of it’s existence, but choosing to ignore this vacuum, a shadow that I’ve learnt to hide from the sun. but why does the memories live? What am I holding on to? It’s the focus that’s been keeping me away from meeting others, because the others are NOT the focus, it’s just so hard to accept. Why can’t I understand that there is nothing to wait? That those spoken and written words were empty words. What am I waiting?

And so the questions dwell for as long as they want even though focus may have strayed and I can’t get him back where I want him to be.

Heh, for the most rare occassions that I ever did, went back to sg two weeks in a row. but i’m actually very much needed…kena cat rumah!!! As soon as I reach my home, at 6.30 pm, just in time for iftar, i saw the chaosness of my house…ingatkan nak pindah, rupa-rupanya spring cleaning dan mengecat + a new furnitures for the girls’ room! Tulah nak balik sangat, kan kena buat keje!! Nevertheless enjoyed it all. spending time with family is always precious.

Though the haze was BAD on saturday…it’s like walking through mysterious mist and almost like leaving in a dream, ceh….
nothing mysterious n nothing breamy about it…only irritated noses, and coughs and not so nice sweats of people(bluwweeekk). Went to wisma indah for impian’s mu’tamar…and seriously felt out of place. I don’t know anybody there!!! It’s a small event though, so nothing much. I stayed for the announcement of the new impian’s excos and went straight home after that. Just nice for breaking fast with family.

and only after the spring cleaning, we are ‘awarded’ with new dresses for RAYA!! I’m so in love with mine, instead of yellow as decided earlier, we went for something like peach….is quite difficult to get yellow, even with peach, we got different hues of it for each of us..and ratu’s shopping indeed!! with three dresses~ for me and sisters, we have one at the moment. Felt like there’s not much choice this time around. Seriously, nothing attracts me until I saw the one that I eventually bought.
I’m fine with it considering I won’t be going out much during eid. EXAMS la wei!!