Let me tell you that It’s Scorching Hot here. It’s worsening my headache which feels like there’s a huge rock dwelling in it. I’ve had it since this morning and feeling terrible. And it’s one of the days when all the plans I had don’t seem to work. Firstly I was woken up by so many smses from different people asking things about Mekar’06 and then there was the headache. I had to drag myself from bed got ready blablabla and went to the mahallah office. Before that, received another message which offended me because of the ‘ordering’ tone that it seems to have. Who is this person suddenly ordering me around?? I’m the vp and also the asst director for this mekar thing and I got ordered?? What the tooot!! None the matter, I went anyway, the reason that I AM GOING because I had a few things to settle there without being ORDERED.

Went to parenting class, had a test which i did not study for but pretty much did well in it. It’s only parenting and most of the time the kind lecturer just tell us stories of real life experiences and quotes of wisdom. She gave us this ‘calendar of quotes’ for March. Something like a goodbye ‘gift’ since this was also the last class. A favourite : “Be happy while you’re living, for you’re dead a long time.” -a Scottish proverb. Simple but smack right to the face, because I haven’t been happy these few days. The only remedy that I know is for me to go back SINGAPORE. and there’s another problem which will make me remain in unhappiness is I might not be able to even smell Singapore because there are plans the committees of Mekar have to go to Rompin, Pahang for a meeting~ What a funckle! I miss my family.


Went to HS after class and found no familiar faces just as I received a call from an uthmanite telling me we couldn’t get any LT, and could I try ask my Fellow who’s a lecturer in Econs to book a room? I’ll try, Mr. So thinking that I won’t be going back to my mahallah any sooner, smsed qadr if she’s in the office? She replied asking me back, am I going to the office?? Could I call her coz she’s saving her credit?? Another BIG Funckle. My Lord, I wouldn’t ask if I AM going to the office. Why do people ask redundant questions? It’s irritating and I’m having a headache laa~ I went back to my mahallah in the scorching hot only to find that the office is already closed for lunch!!! The staffs might be having lunch somewhere else!! What could I do then?? I’m totally pissed off!!

Again, none the problem because I had lunch myself and I got to own the tv room! hehe. Watched MTV, nothing much though.

And here I am, back in main campus, not out of will really, had to pass Aili some papers for her leadership group discussion but blogging is a therapy. Feeling better now.

I’m feeling sick.. will someone show me care and concern?

he has to be this hot~

JULY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and tobe understood. Quiet unless excited ortensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’sfeelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Wittyand sparkly. spazzy at times. Notrevengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

—Most of it true~

What does blase means??

Uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence.
Unconcerned; nonchalant: had a blasé attitude about housecleaning.
Very sophisticated.

I am more of the first two definitions and I really have to start learning to not be blase! My blase attitude is making it more difficult for me to remember things, adding up to my already short termed memory. I really have to start becoming more concerned about life and others and not be complacent on the small things. No matter how small, they do matter, some way or another. And yes, to be a good vice president, I need to REMEMBER NAMES AND THE PEOPLE who owns the name.


What do you remember, seri??

The trip to Pahang……was exhaustive.

The trip started at 12am between friday and saturday : ) and for 4 hours, the six of us, three brothers and three sisters plus the driver were squashed in an Unser. Supposedly to be rather comfortable but believe me, it was not that much of a pleasant ride. The three girls- me, prezdayz and amy_pc fitted just nicely at the back seat. and we can’t really sleep during the ride. A brother, azren was talking with the driver just for the sake of company for the driver so that he won’t be bored and he really had a LOT to talk about. Our backside were screaming just two hours on the road and i actually missed the latenight journeys from jb-iiu!!! At least we know where to put our legs on the coach!!

Reached Rompin, Pahang at around 5 am. We had a rest at this old untended mosque, kind of creepy~ we could at least stretch our aching bones and washed up before breakfast (just wash up, don’t even think of having a shower there!) and of course, Subh prayer. We thought there could be people coming in the mosque to pray congregational Subh, like we understood it usually is in Kampung life, but NO, nobody came, no one did the call for the prayer…it was sad~ so just the seven of us in that mosque.

We had breakfast and I never know I have a good appetite for breakfasts! I ate my nasi lemak to the very last piece! Maybe it’s the journey or the dish was just plain delicious kampung style or maybe it was because that was the first time I even had a breakfast!! Considering back in campus, my day starts at 10.30 am, not exactly breakfast time! There were a number of log trucks passing by at high speed and woow, what are they rushing for?? A two-way road, large LOG trucks, high speed~

in the library for more than two hours already and what have I done? Well, helped kak halimah with her brochure which wasn’t much really, went to the 4th level of the library , browsed around at the literature section and i was sent back to my used to be reading life. So many books to read, so many familiar authors and classics!! Miss my ratu already. She was the one who introduced me to classics like Charles Dickens’ and Little Women and Pride and Prejudice, etc.

asked the librarian for sample of questionnaires and they said they didn’t have it here?!! but our lecturer asked us to look for questionnaires here!! and we had to do some analyzing of the questions…how am i supposed to do that assignment which have to be handed in this monday??

and just to make myself less guilty-conscious, went to the religions section and got myself two philosophy of religions books, which I WILL READ. I wanted to spend the day concentrating on my studies, but i didn’t. My mind was more on tonight’s journey to Pahang for a baktisiswa programme. I haven’t packed a thing!!
anyways, wish me luck on this journey.

on a last note, i’m waiting for rezza’s reply already! anxious huh?

hehe just sent an email to this person by the name rezza and i’m actually grinning ear to ear about it. what is happening but as long as he’s the source for my smiles, what’s the prob?? he might just be a shadow from someplace else but he might be my javanese prince. so let’s make peace and no war~

i was sad today but feeling much better out of a sudden. I need motivation just to stay happy and I hope today i will get to email rezza afterall. And right now i’m using the apple PCs in itd lab under whoever’s account who forgot to log off. I don’t know why the Apples are not accepting my matric number. everytime i insert in my matric number and password, it will do this jiggle shake like someone saying a big NO ENTRY! I always felt offended when it did that!

well i’m just back from an Ummi night organized by IRK Society. And even though I’m already a sub committee and there and it’s not like the exco-s didn’t know me well, but i was there representing ASSIIUM, because they are inviting presidents of students coming from souteast asian countries and since the singapore prez couldn’t come himself, i’m representing him since i’m ASSIIUM’s secretary. But no problem, irk society is like family to me, yeah right~ and furthermore, i haven’t been attending irk soc’s meetings since i became their sub committee, so why not make myself present for once. and there were 4 students from philippines and they were so nice, especially the sisters. they speak fluent english and very strong with their faith considering they are a minority back in their country and still struggling for their rights. ALLAH bless them.

So i hope we the singaporean muslim leaders in the making will not be complacent and strive for the betterment of the muslim ummah in singapore. Our biggest challenge would be to stay steadfast among globalisation and westernization and secularism. And to help our fellow brothers and sisters who are straying back to the right path. I’m feeling like a true da’ie already, insya ALLAH.

Whatever it is I’m staying happy today and onwards and look at life as a new adventure with dear moments no matter how dreadful it may be. I feel like a burden lifted off me and the cloudiness in my head seem to disappear with just a touch of sunlight coming through. It’s beautiful.

i actually wanted to send a rather much anticipated message to someone, but I have friends on both my right and left side of me, who are eagerly typing out their assignments, god knows what, and keep asking me to look at the sentences and to correct it and the freaking thing is I couldn’t help them because my mind was here!!

Later saturday night… oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I didn’t get to follow ASSIIUM went to Rumah Solehah, because of the freaking debate. I actually missed the girls!! And wished I was there with them with the children!! Aili messaged me inviting me to go to Kak Sarhani’s apartment to spend the night because there’ll be a blackout that night. The whole IIU affected. I so want to go with them but I can’t because of the freak debate the next day. I thought I will go and accompany Nun and Aisha and gave them some moral support. I wished I had just forget about the debate and just leave everything. But I didn’t.

So I spent the night reading up newsweek magazines and Hamas articles with a candle and matches right there in front of me. The blackout was to be expected at 10 pm. I was anxious about it because I was alone in my room, my roommates all three went back home.

10.00pm – Nothing happened. (Yey, the blackout’s not affecting IIU after all???)

10.05pm – Still nothing happened, but matchsticks ready at hand.

10.15pm – Yey!! It’s just rumours then!!! (but hey spoke too soon)

10.20pm – Smiling ear to ear

10.30pm – AAAARRRRggggHHH! I’m surrounded with UTTER DARKNESS

I’ve never been in THIS kind of darkness all my life. I really felt like I was dead or in some unknown place. I was so shaking when I lit the matches and shit, the flames kept going off!! And so I’m accompanied by a soft and warm candle light. It’s so comforting!!! I looked outside the window, and oh my god, it really was darker than night. I wouldn’t want to be out there. But there were some girls at ‘stage’ of Halimah and they were having a laughing and shouting, and that’s a comfort also.

And Orlando Bloom looked so handsome and romantic in the dimly lit room. haha.