everybody’s keeping secrets….uwwekkkk
and how come never see some people online anymore??? staying ‘offline’ is it everybody?? or i go online at the wrong time?
and girls, i want to meet you girls, but i don’t know how to organize? and the iiu peeps going back to iiu already?? got time or not??? got time or not??
and when am i going to finish reading?? honestly, i am sick of reading already! haha!!
nak tengok movie aahh!!
and this chronic family is dysfunctional at 10 pm! my romo’s sitting at his favourite spot at the balcony listening to his neverending malay jiwang tangkap lentok songs! and my little sis trying to irritate him with her npcc stories. and my ratu’s singing along to karaoke lagu tak tahu zaman biler la, my other sis is playing her imagninary drums made up of hmmmmm, pillows. and here i am witnessing it all. you would think it’s early in the morning.

at the end of the day, they’re still my family. i love them.

http://media.imeem.com/m/08hZtEPyLt/aus=false/

tengoklaa, out of boredom,found these songs, and because my ratu-tak tahu angin-apa has been listening to them. ni dah zaman 80-an pulak~~ tapi…lagu ni kita dengar kan masa kecik2 dulu kan?? haha..

you see, it IS very very useful to have this action plan.
you can always look back on it, see whether you have done them. check them out of the list when you’ve completed the job, and go on to the next one. I suddenly feel organized. and you really feel like you’re doing something useful.
so now……

4/ prepare some materials for teens notice board
5/ prepare the transliteration for assembly doa — though this is handwritten

the rest?? guess i’ll have to do the during the weekends~~~
6/ read up on work which am doing with Teach, now baptised as ‘concept review- C.R’
7/ research on transliteration matters
8/ report H-Primers
9/ read THE books, esp on ancient civilizations for y.a
10/ do some blogskinning for teens and my sisters.

after i can say 5 hours in front of my laptop. i need a break.
hmm, well…i completed 3 out of 10 from my action plan. and of course, will continue after i have my dinner!!!

am staaaarrviiinggg!

:)))

let’s see how we have progress so far…
at 8th Feb 2008 / 1.45pm

action plan chronologically to be accomplished:
1/ clean up my room
2/ report Project Y
3/ lesson plan for teens -completed at 5.00pm (sure a lot of time was spent here, not that easy to plan the lessons for teens year 1 & 2 for the whole of february)
4/ prepare some materials for teens notice board
5/ prepare the transliteration for assembly doa
6/ read up on work which am doing with Teach, now baptised as ‘concept review- C.R’
7/ research on transliteration matters
8/ report H-Primers
9/ read THE books, esp on ancient civilizations for y.a
ok kasi genap sepuluh
10/ do some blogskinning for teens and my sisters.

Peyton : You’re always saving me

Lucas : Somebody’s got to

i’ve been reading Karen Armstrong’s Islam : A Short History. and i recalled vaguely of a claim which said that the book is a Shi’i book or something. i really don’t know where i got that from, i just remember the gist of it, but not sure who said it or where i found it. but that’s beside the point.

i agree the book do mention Shi’i quite a lot. really. and i’m starting to believe that maybe armstrong is sympathetic towards the Shi’i or she really mean to write about them or whatever her reason is. but then i started to realise, how this side of history was almost untold of. i recall being taught of the history very briefly though in sirah books. i learned their doctrines but i somehow missed out on certain aspects. my knowledge on shi’ism stopped immediately after the death of saiyidina Ali r.a, well them tracing their emergence right before that. i just thought we never really know their side of the story, aren’t we? maybe i was historically ignorant, i admit that. we do have some very wide differences. we do. theologically and legally. but at the end of the day, we still believe in Allah, don’t we?

hmm, i lost it. i didn’t bother to strike a conversation with a lecturer and ask about this. too late, seri. but then, there’s still that group of ustaz-s i’m working with…

well, my thoughts keep coming back to saiyidina Ali. how he must have been thinking, or felt, when all the conflicts came up. being a young man, appointed as the caliph, only to clean up where saiyidina uthman left off. already at a troubled period. and then a group came up, claiming to champion his place as THE righful caliph, that his three predecessors shouldn’t take place. it was his right from the start. he didn’t want that. he don’t need to be elevated to such a position.

now let’s recall, ali was the Prophet’s cousin and son-in-law. he was the closest child to Rasulullah in his early years, the first muslim child. practically stood beside Rasulullah throughout his life. learning first hand from the Prophet. he stood up for the Prophet, on his so called deathbed, how brave a young man, willing to stay, knowing he was surrounded by enemies. he must have love Rasulullah all his heart. he must have been grieving still even after years the Prophet departed. what must have been his thoughts when he saw the ideal ummah built up by Rasulullah tumbling into conflicts, one after another. how must he felt, battling against the people he knew most of his life, as his family? going against the lady he respected most for being the Prophet’s wife? he didn’t want that to happen, would he? is he hurt? is he scared? worried? desperate? unable to resolve the problem when so many people are expecting him to do the right thing.

and if he was alive, and had known how his sons died. would it not break his heart terribly?

there’s many ways to prolong this melancholy. but i won’t indulge. we have taken things for granted. as a sunni, i have neglect to understand history. i might have been one sided all this way. and you call yourself a thinker?

lessons to be learnt, people.

new year’s eve. the much needed break.
there’s this malay drama on suria which i never paid attention and when i did, well for the first 10 minutes, i was astounded. seriously astounded. because there were some familiarity between me and this illyana girl.

so as far as i understand, this illyana girl has a very good close guy friend. which other than treating him as a friend, it so happened she kind of had feelings for him. she had stayed good friends with him, even though he had been dating with other girls. granted that this illyana is not the feminine bimbo types of girls. and the guy is sort of the handsome guy who knows beauty when he sees it.

now this guy seems to know that illyana might have some feeling for him, but she has always treated him as the GOOD friend, and the guy admits she is the only good friend he has, no matter how many girls he went out with, and illyana is the only one who understands him, and oh-i-don’t-want-to-lose you friend. I SO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FELT, illyana.

so the story went on and on, i wasn’t paying attention. until towards the end, there’s only this illyana and her good friend. and she told him, she really miss him. really miss the old him, his as her friend, the one who listens to her, the one who knows almost everything about her. she misses HIM the FRIEND. she don’t want him as anything more. just a Friend. I SO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FELT, illyana.

but our similarity ends there. for she gets to stay friends with him. I DON’T. and never will, i guess. for my good friend has long disappeared. oh yea, forgot that i exist. her good friend stays…for her. MINE DON’T.

but that’s the past!!

am so living in the NOW. as long as this friend of mine (no more) is happy….whatever. a statement: anti -orang area Ubi. i know i shouldn’t generalise this, but i do. so far, people i’ve known who lived or are still living in Ubi, i just cannot click with them. even with one i remember fondly, is just, a disappointment, heart breaking. so anti-Ubi, can?

haiiyyyya, 24 and you’re still thinking like some immature confused teenager. you’re a youth trainer, for Lord’s sake! haha. i am so over the past anyway. just at times, you can’t help but be reminded. but well well well, we learn from the past, don’t we??

so am going with business now.

action plan chronologically to be accomplished:
1/ clean up my room
2/ report Project Y
3/ lesson plan for teens
4/ prepare some materials for teens notice board
5/ prepare the transliteration for assembly doa
6/ read up on work which am doing with Teach, now baptised as ‘concept review- C.R’
7/ research on transliteration matters
8/ report H-Primers
9/ read THE books, esp on ancient civilizations for y.a
ok kasi genap sepuluh
10/ do some blogskinning for teens and my sisters.

busy busy busy i LIKE???

yey!!! first driving class was great!!! the feeling you get when you’re holding that steering wheel and actually driving. i was actually driving. can you believe it?? i am very surprised that i could manouver the car forward and backward, make turns, breaking and accelerating…..i did it! it’s not playing need for speed ok.

I AM DRIVING!!! hahaha. excited naahh.

for a first 100 minutes lesson, i have to say i did quite well. still need practice of course!!!

and i am so looking forward for Chinese New Year break!! for i get to stay at home and finish reading my towering books!! (bought two more books yesterday. mono: met dayah yesterday who’s getting married end of this month!!)

and clean up my room. and well, i cannot run from work, can i?? yeah need to complete some reports and do some lesson plans. the preparations you need just to teach a once a week 2 and half hour lesson!!

my hands are itching to drive again….can’t wait for next tuesday!!

tomorrow will be my very first driving class!!! am excited actually. getting close to achieving one of those listed in my action plan.

it’s weird, people, well, two very different persons have dreamt that i…uhmm…got engaged…first it was my cousin, and today a close colleague just told me about how she dreamt i got engaged but only a few people knew about it, kind of like a hush2 thingy (but she couldn’t see who this mysterious fiance of mine was..too bad). it can be that detailed. you don’t know how graaannd it was, however, in my cousin’s dream! haha.
it’s weird because why in the whole world would they dream about me? getting engaged somemore!! and i don’t ever dream about coming close to having a special someone. i know i know it’s just a dream. but two people dreaming of the same ‘event’?

please don’t tell me there’s a third person out there who dreamt of me getting engaged, or it will really get spooky!!!

anyway, it’s all in good cause, maybe their dreams might bring some good news, but otherwise, just a dream to amuse their sleep ..(and i’m the subject of their amusing dreams???)

this brings me to a dream i had back in IIU, which quite amused me actually. in this dream, i was somehow, bringing my two very adorable little sons to school/nursery/kindergarted(?). it looked like the first day of school. and i somehow knew a ‘husband’ was somewhere nearby, but i don’t know who.

then you know how sometimes, when you’re dreaming, there’s this other conscious, the thinking conscious, coaxing you into reality. i don’t know how to put it, but during this dream, i was pushed to think ‘i have got to know who is the father to my dream sons are’. my mind was saying ‘who’s their father? who’s their father?’ over and over again. in my dream, i was looking at my sons’ nametags and i could see their names clearly (which i now remember dearly). i was like reading their names again and again, afraid that i might forget them. and still my conscious was urging me, ‘what’s the father’s name? what’s the father’s name?!’…..

and

i didn’t see it. i didn’t see the father’s name! and at that moment, i woke up. and thinking what the heck was that dream all about??! and was disappointed i couldn’t see who this mysterious husband was!!

lord, this is embarassing.
but hey, it’s about dreams nowadays, huh?
(ni baca suli nyer blog ah ni, kan dah ter-ilham nak tulis pasal benda ni, but yeah, the colleague’s ‘fault’ also for dreaming about me~) 🙂

ps: was in BH today. i have to be a good trainer. i need to, now.