1. to update on retreat at the zoo (have to upload pics from pc @ office)

2. to update on iask launch (got some pics but so nice…so have to wait for en. rosly’s pics…”haa, tu lah, siapa suruh jadi self- appointed photographaer, kan gambar takde muka sendiri~ :)))

3. to update on whatever’s interesting enough to talk about in my life.

4. to start thinking like a smart person. for Lord’s sake, whatever happened to all those knowledge you’re supposed to gain??? You need some serious revisions!

5. look up action plan list and see what next to accomplish

6. SIGN UP FOR DRIVING TEST, beb!!

7. i want to watch stardust!! anyone’s joining??

on a last note: drop by my dear friend Qzai’s blog for one of her posts which have a list of ‘why guys love girls’ or something life that. it definitely is so sweet. *sigh* for a moment there, i wish there’s a guy who’d think that of me. Zaimah!! i still believe in that same ciri2 relationship that we talked about once upon a night long ago~~~ bila nih nak buat camtu?? haha!

not to be too caught up in this. ratu said not to be pressured by the surroundings, or what they say, or what they think. i need to be ready and to truly know who/what is right at the right time. sometimes i longed for something which could fill this fragile heart, but at the same time, i deny those for fear of what? for lack of what? i’m so old-fashioned in this. or maybe there’s too much to think on it, it tires me and then i blanked it out.

there’s other things needed care of.

very baddd. you have got to stop this very bad habit seri!! you have got to stop sneeaaakiinggg at other people’s sites, friendster not multiply nor facebook nor whatever toottttss that would possibly give you the wasilah to find out about somebody. you have got to stop sneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaking. it’s unethical and conflicts with your integrity and your promise, YOUR PROMISE, YOUR VOW never to know about others!! never to know what you MUST NOT KNOW. Remember IGNORANCE IS BLISS??? what good would it do?? what good? For the GOOD LORD’s sake. stop trying to find out about toooott. what? who is it again?? what business is it of me?

whose fault is it? whose fault? she for playing along with that superficial game??!! he for being so heartless?? she for being so close, so reachable, so accessible?? me for being plain plain stupid?! what kind of a friendship is this??

you know it hurts BIG TIME!! so why did you do it??? you really shouldn’t have. shouldn’t have think about even sneeaaaking at other’s sites. i was perfectly ok, going on with my life, working, so striving for the good of the youths. i was so OK, being with my beloved friends, missing my girls, days with Ericko-san (btw, don’t shout yet, ericko-san is lifeless, ie, my hp), days with my strings, drinks with my lemon tea, days with my clan, and then i met a person, whom i know obviously, who happened to be a close friend, and seeing this good person, and totally reminded of whoever it is laaa. it’s just that!! baammm, you have to know someone who’s a direct wasilah to whatever…

i don’t have to be so emotional at the moment. i don’t. it’s just this anger i had in me. just anger. anger. i need to let out this anger. keeping silent for so long is not healthy. Come on Seri, get hold of yourself. There are a million things to do. This should not hinder the steps to what i’ve been dreaming of. I have a long list of action plan. but you know how they say sometimes we have to face our enemy.

Zaimahhhh!!!! i need you!!!

***sigh***

it’s always when we have some peace of mind, some calm and having that one direction which we are moving towards to, there will always be something which seems to set some thorns on the path. those thorns which doesn’t hurt much, but once felt, it left scars on your feet, making you limp along the way, till it heals itself. still, the cycle is neverending, once flowers are blooming, thorns will appear. and this is the devil in me. this pseudo-heartbreak. just when i thought i have found my way, there’s the devil waving at me. and so again, i have to fight it before it numbed me. i do not know for how much longer should i feel this way.

so help me LORD.

i’m suspecting my sister is having a boyfriend~ kwang kwang kwang~

she’s always sms-ing, always asking for top-ups, always blushing when we teased her. hey little sis, don’t follow the light! the light’s deceiving!!! ok dramatic-ko.

little sis, do take care of yourself. i hope the guy’s as good as the name which he bears. teenage love is a scary thing. and you’re living in a different world than mine. and we can’t always see eye to eye. there’s always something you did which irritated me and vice versa.

i do not want you to get hurt. i do not want you to be disappointed.
i do not want you to stray from the dreams which you have.
and most importantly, please take care of yourself.

fuwwoohh, i have 20 minutes before the clock turned 11 pm, and i strive to end this as fast as i possibly can because i need to sleep in early. Kerja lah esok~ kerja lagi ekk??? i’m honestly and truly feeling exhausted and i don’t think i had real rest the whole of this week and my sleeps were not helping. you know those nights when you were thinking while you’re sleeping, or there seem to be a million things running through your REM? really, i thought i only got those thinking – sleeping nights during exam weeks!! and waking up feeling unrefreshed. *sigh*

the week, was Kia ora! had the working with youth workshops, which was totally enriching and motivating, meeting old friends and making new friends. sincere laughs and intense brainstormings. i learnt alot. and am so motivated to teach my teens classes, even ready to start next year’s class. i have so many agendas for the students next year!

saturday was no rest day, in fact,i was out of home the whole day! 8 am – 4 pm, teaching. it was evaluation day, which i avoided thinking on it, it passed, and i couldn’t possibly enclosed anything. it’s masjid thing. not my thing. just praying for the best, and i did not let anyone or any parties down, i hope. i’m just doing the best i can. then took over 1.30’s class, because there’s only one relief teacher. so i had to help her, considering the real trainers for that particular class, both of them are having exams at the moment….

…which became a problem for me today, sunday. which was supposed to be a fine day. of course i had to teach today. at 1.30. there were two teens classes. i have my own class, and the other was managed by the two-examed trainers. i got an sms early in the morning, from the Coordinator, informing me she couldn’t get any relief for the other teens class. do i have any friends who can? damn, i don’t have friends who have teaching backgrounds!! but then again, i sms-ed a few, one i knew had some formal training, others did tuitioning. so i smsed whoever i think would be able to at least teach, well, they don’t have to really teach la kan, i will be there to assist still. so from 7 am to 11 am, none of those sms-ed were able to relief, with reasons such as nak jalan raya, going to wedding and what nots. i truly understand them. it’s a last minute thingy anyway!! even if it’s me, i wouldn’t want to do it!! but what made me angered, at that moment was… i totally understand that exams are important, so so important, but couldn’t they at least, settled who their relief teachers first?? i could make myself available for your saturday class, but sunday class, hello?? i have my own class? same time? have a relief teacher lah, inform the coordinator earlier, not leave her in the dark, unknowing??? expecting us to automatically understand?? we totally understood your situation, but at least, have a heart for us too!! kelam kabut seh nak cari relief. hari ni ada class, hari ni baru nak cari relief, and mana ada orang yang sanggup ajar at such a short notice??!!

so i took up both classes today. thank goodness students were cooperative. i enjoyed teaching them. my anger cooled the very moment i saw them. but it’s just that, don’t take me for granted, can?? i have a life too. i willingly did not go to an alumni raya gathering because of teaching, and i know it’s just so hard to get a relief teacher nowadays. i so willingly did not go, when i so wanted to!!

it’s so me, isn’t it? always taking up jobs/tasks/errands when no one else can!! so me. the disease i had since iiu days, right?? come on peeps, i have a damn life!

i wasn’t forced to take up both classes today, my sheer motivation was the thought, if no one’s teaching, who will? but others have got to realise their responsibility too. don’t take me for granted, or the coordinator for granted. don’t think just because she’s supervising, everything’s fine. just because i’m here, i can always relief for them. please ah!!~

i’m so tired.

oh by the way. congratulations to a new friend, Eddie and Ike on their wedding. Ike looked gorgeous. it’s been nice knowing Ike. (alas i couldn’t take their pics, went to their wedding on Saturday, right after teaching, and my Ericko-san’s battery was uncharged)

and tomorrow’s another day. a working day. a challenging day. and i don’t know what to expect, considering i haven’t been in office for the whole week. pray the best~

glitter-graphics.com

Kia – Ora, hello, good day, everything’s fine in Maori language.
Been learning some Maori words from the two New Zealander trainers at my 5-day workshop.
Been attending a very useful and beneficial and fruitful, enriching workshop on working with youths.

In just two days, i learnt quite a lot. on the identity-seeking youth, their needs analysed and brainstorming of some of the ‘tribes’ walking among us all without us really seeing nor knowing them. how ignorant can we be. how they must be screaming inside, needing some hand to hold out to reach them. ok not the time to be melancholic. but seriously.

alaa, stop seri, you’ve been thinking too much~

The workshop were attended by some youth activists, mostly from mosques and i am truly fortunate i got the chance to attend this wonderful course and meet some interesting people.

three more days to go. i actually did not dread the journey from my place to buona vista, considering i have to take a bus, take the nel and then the mrt to reach my destination. i rather enjoyed the morning rides!! only that i have to stand throughout the journey. *sigh*

p/s: what’s up with the dolls seri?? —>

Went raya-ing with a group of friends.Convoy~ 2 cars and a van. there’s like 16 of us. going to 11 houses i think? i lost count though. i joined them 2/3 of the day for i had to teach in the morning. thank you guys and sorry for troubling you guys having to come down to the mosque to ‘collect'(fetch) me. tapi dapat sembahyang kan~ so ok lah tu.

i lurrvve being chauffeured around, butttt, jealous tengok korang boleh drive!! i so want to learn driving!! target: by next year must know how to drive!

for once, i got to ‘repay’ the visits of hafid, hamzah(missed his house though) and hamirul. their constant visit (albeit 1-2 years they didn’t) to my house every raya.

despite the tiredness, i’m happy and glad i got to join them for the visits. made some new friends. lost and found a friend, who could, who could have been my playmate while we were younger, playing at the playgrounds at tampines (my late nenek’s house)!

all in all, a happy event all the same. got some paisey moments, but hey they made up the memories. hhahah!

http://apps.rockyou.com/rockyou.swf?instanceid=89059446&ver=102906

i realised i have been writing wwaayyy too loooonnngg for a post. but there’s a lot of things to say, how??

I got free tix to see Forum Irama II at Ngee Ann Poly. but i didn’t go. why? don’t ask. i made decisions without thinking smometimes.

should be sleeping.