Life

listopia

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

it’s only tuesday, no?  it has been two productive days! i think some new habits im trying to develop is working. hope this stays as long as it is, although today i almost broke my promise about having ME time during lunch. but i stopped, just leave my table as it is. and had lunch and prayed, i definitely work better after that.

anyway just yesterday i was listing out things NOT TO BUY. this morning, i go and make a wishlist. haha.

nothing major, its all those materialistic things of a person who doesnt have much responsibility like having children. just a pair of dr mart boots (i miss wearing boots!!), a turqoise and a maroon coloured watches (i love watches. not too worry though coz i go by ‘the watch chooses you’, so i havent seen any that have that kind of calling) and a fujifilm instax 50s.

i will stop at that. 😉

i am going to spend more on skills and workshops.

that also i have a list:

first up to go is Sewing class, which i’m going to sign up this Friday! woohoo!! cant wait! actually no need to go also can. learn from youtube videos like that boy in the newspaper…i tried…but there are certain things i dont understand, maybe learning live under an expert would be better. well, let’s just have a try anyway.

and then breadmaking..i know it’s like any woman can make breads themselves why bother go to a class…but i dont have that cooking skills you know, so i think im going to just go for it when the opportunity comes. why not cakes? my sis in law bake awesome beautiful heavenly rich like-you-can-taste-it-just-by-describing-it cakes. i dont have that creativity with cakes. bread looks easy with a set of ‘formulas’. i mean how many shapes can a ‘bun’ look?

scrapbooking class for the fun of it! i know husband wont be supportive in that, creativity is enough to him…but anyway there’s no more Made With Love (MWL) shop at Plaza Singapura, and Paper Market dont look so interesting and as friendly as MWL…so it may take a while before i take this up, in the meantime, its all a mix and match and learning from scrapbook websites..

and archery!! i miss archery so much!! i was an archer back in Uni. and i know there is one archery class in the neighbourhood, except its on weekends, and yeah my weekends are burnt..but i hope one day both me and husband will get to do it sometimes.

and then floristry! there’s a diploma for it ok!! i want i want! laugh if you want but flowers make me happy! and i have always been amazed with people who can just do up a bouquet so easily! im going for it ok, that is, if i cant go for any Masters in Education or Diploma in HR and Training courses. haha.

and of course, any forums/workshops which is kinda trending these days locally. if i can afford it, i will take the opportunity. makes life more interesting. otherwise its work work work. bleurgh.

so im building up a utopia mind for myself. whatever that means.

 

scream aim fire

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

no. please do not be shock by the title of my post. as you might have read somewhere in my older posts, my titles can be random at times. i was just playing Bullet for My Valentine’s album of the same name. i forgot how much i used to love those kinds of genre songs. oh the band wasnt the best of the lot. there were avenged sevenfold, breaking benjamin, atreyu, what else? havent been keeping up anyway. where are all these bands??  i dont know whether i influenced my siblings or they influenced me haha. i cant say i have been a good elder sister influencing them there but im quite surprised and a little weeny bit of pride at the choices of songs they listen to. quite a variety actually but not the mainstream. Anyway, yes, not a good elder sister influence there. i know i have many other goals which i want my siblings to do. well, this year is all about picking up the pieces.

seriously. my heart screams for all these aims i never got to do. but my babies are all grown up now and busy with their own things. i hope my proposal for a different work schedule this year is approved and i get to recover the mess i left. i like my fridays but they are schooling and my saturdays are spent on other people’s children. my sundays? well i returned to work every sunday last year and i do have my chores to complete.

anyway 2013. please be kind. i dont usually have resolutions but i guess the feeling for 2013 is a bit different. it’s like i am determined to be kind to myself. and what i meant is, my job is not everything. the job is difficult and cruel at times. even as of now, i have pending works and my brain is kinda reeling around those list of things to do. but i want to stop, pause, breathe and take comfort that tomorrow is another day, i can finish that task tomorrow AT WORK. and 4 years on the job, i am better prepared and confident to do what is expected. students and parents, bring it on! haha. ok be careful what i wish for. students and parents, please be kind. because this year is not for me to be a plain manager, it’s the year to lead. i had set some foundation. its a work in progress i understand that now. nothing can be perfect. but at the back of my mind, everyone is scrambling for a point of reference, even the parents. i need to take things more seriously, not that i havent, but in the few years we are starting, i was so into getting the teachers, arranging lesson plans, teaching and all them reports and paperworks. these things will be part of the job, but i feel there is more to the job than just this.

i am not perfect. no. i may not be the best person to be here. but while i am here, i should make the best of it. Allah, please guide me.  like a strike of inspiration, i guess You have given me the answer to my prayers. yes. i know that now. You have always guided my decisions. for now, i know You want me to be here. for now.

still, as i have mentioned. work is not everything. i have my husband. my family. my self. they are more important than everything else and me is important. my husband needs my care. and i mean it. i realise he has been doing all the caring and love. i havent do much. apart from the simple chores i did…i simply havent do much. and i want to do more. and my priorities have changed. and work is somewhere down the list. if this work requires me to be fisabilillah. than it will. it will not be forced on me.

it is scream aim fire. in other words, start, aim and do it right.

its like i find myself all over again.

clear mind and space

/ livingseri / Leave a comment

it had been a month of headaches, dreadful coughings, runny noses and on-off fevers. this body really knows which month to choose to get sick. and really i havent really recover fully. had the most horrible coughing period after so long. and just when i thought i got better, i am now still nursing a flu and some left over cough.

Allahu yashfiini.

my dear husband is not feeling so well either. but hoping that we can fully recover by new year.

but as if my mind did not want to succumb to the illness, i did some cleaning with my wardrobe, dressing table and my books. feels so good to be able to take out clothes and scarves which i know i am not going to wear anymore out! and those books i keep on buying and left by the bedside is not arranged nicely in my book box or at the shelves. such a clear of eyesight and mind. feels like my mind is able to breathe with a bit more space also.

i love my books. definitely. and after arranging them, it actually made me more eager to start reading again. as it is, too bogged down with work, i dont even spend some time to read anymore. and NO, will not let work dominate my time. reading makes me happy, and i am going to do it. just this week, i start to train myself to stop doing work during lunchtime. for the past three years i dont really take up too much importance during lunch. like i eat when im hungry and still do work continuously sometimes the whole day. but i have one hour. and i am going to use that time wisely and for ME. 10 minutes for meal, 15 minutes for prayers, and there’s a good half and hour more, so i read or take a nap. anything that is NOT work. i realise i work better after that.

back to the cleaning. and on a roll for my workspace too. since i am determined to have some sort of life to that messy place. i bought two small indoor plants, and something nice and memorable to be placed at my table. and yes, i am so going to clear out my space. that space.. just too much stuff!! you know you just want to start the year with a clear mind and space. i am really excited to clear my workspace!

a better year insya Allah. almost like im going to start all over.

embrace sunday

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Its a sunday i preferred. Not so lazy sunday coz i got to cook and did some laundry which includes folding them all.

While folding them clothes, i thought to myself and realised that i like doing these housechores. That it gives me pleasure feeling the warm bedsheets after a few hours hanging under the sun, ironing them, yes i iron my bedsheets. My husband thought it absurd, i mean he doesnt mind it unironed but ironing them makes me feel happy like all the germs dead and creases gone looking so smart. I think its just in the mind. But whatever.

Oh yes, like a child happily achieving something, i would squeal happily everytime my cooking tastes nice! Haha. But being a latebloomer, i never really thought about taste when it comes to food, but after watching all them foodshows, and the opportunity to go nice eating places, my tastebuds are awakened. And i can judge and criticise my own cooking. And learn what works and what isnt.

And now just lazing with husband, watching tv. I get to blog a bit and i get to read. Pure bliss.

A few more days to 2013. I dont do new year resolutions, although moneywise, i have learnt to spend only when needed sans books, that i cannot resist. And i know its always good to shop during sales. But what i want to do now is to do a monthly saving for knowledge or learning. i have a bit of saving this year, so next year i want to start keeping a sum aside just in case there are classes or workshops i want to go to. I know i have a list of workshops i want to go to, latest is floristry. But one thing at a time. Next year, i dont care, if i have the opportunity to attend some classes, i will.

Before i get pregnant and have a child, i think this is my time to learn as much knowledge and skills as possible. And i do not want to make work a reason for having no time to do things that i love. NO.NO MORE. I refuse to be dictated by my job.

So i look forward to a fulfilling year. Nervewrecking it may be, but i promise myself to be happy and enjoy life while i can. I do not want my mind to be bogged down by my work. I think i have had enough of that.

Well, its also going to be an interesting year because the big 3 oh is claiming its time soon. I do not wish to be a boring plain all work and no play person. God forbid!

Hello 2013 then. Bring it on.