i am at work. but i feel like i would be better off at home. reading. watching games of thrones. catching up of dramas. re-watching charmed for the umpteenth time. clearing the room of stuffs, the wardrobe of old clothes. doing sewing alterations of my many jubahs. cooking. baking. a hundred other things i could do at home. just relaxing enjoying home whether at central or pv. anywhere but not at work.

it is the school holidays anyway. i feel like i want to do away from all this administrative things i have to do. to please other people. to fulfill people’s instructions and demands. my brain is going through very slow period at work. also due to the many rounds of headaches i have been experiencing these days. quite worried but i do not think it is serious enough for a visit to the doctor, although the headaches can be quite throbbingly painful and nauseatic, like you feel you want to vomit but you cant. yes panadol may not work sometimes. but it does get better after a day or two.

ramadhan has been good to me. i have put in some assertion that i do not want to tire myself with work. i do not want to stress myself with the different characters of people coming to the mosque for terawih. although sometimes i feel hurt. but at the end, i tell myself that, leave it to Allah. only He accepts our ibadah all the same, whether one is better than the other, it is not up to me. let it be, forgive them, don’t take it personally. leave it to Allah. and i feel freed and i was able to concentrate in my prayers.

i am trying to put in more effort spiritually and balance out the time at home and duty at work. i think im doing ok at the moment. i was able to buka with husband when i can, with one group of friends for a bday dinner, with my family for mom’s birthday and father’s day. so now i just want to put in extra extra points for the spiritual part.

We have had quite a number of holiday programmes this June. the most i think, in our mosque 7 years history. i am glad and grateful to the people who worked tirelessly and given their time and energy for the programmes. it is heartening to see the days filled up with students coming to the mosque and gaining knowledge, filling up their school holidays with beneficial activities. i am also relieved that parents support the programmes and send their children. and all lead by my teachers. but it takes some motivation and explaination to have them teachers see my vision of taking benefit from this holiday and ramadan to conduct several programmes, full time and part time teachers alike. we are left with three more sessions of iqra classes and one qiyam for teens 3 – youth 2 students. and then i promise myself i will not disturb them till raya. except for the occassional questions or messages. i am truly grateful to the teachers and i am glad that the initiatives and creativity the teachers had to conduct the programmes.

ok two more weeks to go. time sure flies fast. so let me indulge in these two weeks.

So help me Lord.