I skipped class today. Intro to research methods class. No specific reason, I just feel like skip class. Nobody asked me to and it’s impromptu from my part. I went to Social Control class, got back my first test and thank god, passed that! Later on the way to the mosque, the person I’ve been trying to selfishly avoid unreasonably, was suddenly right in front of me and which at that moment I was walking absent mindedly and did not noticed anyone, I mean the place was crowded anyway, everyone’s rushing to class. He greeted me but I was speechless. and I went without a word. Why ME? Why the act?? Went to the mosque, prayed zohor and that’s it, I decided to skip class.

He was not the reson why I skipped class anyway. I’m just in one of my stupid moods and everything don’t seem right and all that I need to do was close one eye to everything and pretend nothing’s wrong, I mean there is NOTHING WRONG. And SMILE. And what made me genuinely smile just now was reading najib’s answers to those bulletin surveys at friendster!! Funny guy.

Later going to night market with the girls. Hope that will cheer me up.

I remember reading something that when one is always sad, it’s a sign of weakness of the iman. So there must be something wrong inside me which I have to do something about it. I need to sort myself out. Things are like jumbled up wrongly. Where’s my priority, my needs and wants and the responsibilities deep in my heart and the person that I want to be and the person that I want to be with. It’s all chaos.

Give me the strength.